- Messages
- 1,113
- Role
- Little
- Incontinent
I've been reading and responding to the posts in threads about parenting with IC and who you tell about your IC, etc., and it occurred to me to ask a fundamental question:
To what extent are we embarrassed about our need to wear diapers?
Oh, I know that, especially for the bowel incontinent, a bad accident can always be embarrassing. I feel blessed that, at least to this point, I have not had to experience that. (Interestingly, my husband, who is not IC but does have IBS, has.) But I'm not talking about the acute moment. I'm talking about the more chronic need.
We all (or anyway the vast majority of us) wear diapers 24/7 because we have no alternative. Does that simple fact embarrass you?
If so, to what extent? Would you be embarrassed if someone noticed the diaper under your clothes? If someone heard you changing in a rest room? If others who know you knew? If someone found your changing supplies? Etc.
If not, how have you managed to work past the societal imperative that says people of a certain age should not be in diapers? Are you really comfortable with others knowing? Etc.
My own answer here is:
I'm working on it. Honestly, I don't want to be embarrassed by what really is a medical necessity. I mean, I don't go around wearing a diaper for shorts or a t-shirt that says "Hey, I'm wearing diapers!' or anything; there is no reason to shove one's problems in others' faces. But still...
I've said that I am working on stories and a novel that attempt to place IC characters who wear diapers into mainstream culture. I have a couple of good friends who know. All of my children know. Pretty much anyone they bring into the house knows, as I don't have enough storage space to hide my diapers. I'm fine with this. As I said: it's a medical issue, and I feel absolutely no need to be embarrassed about it...
Yet...
Out of my control, I still find myself a little freaked out. I still worry if the diaper can be seen through my clothes. I still try to avoid letting others hear it in the rest room or see it when I dispose it in the trash there. I've lately discovered that I'm fine when someone finds them in my purse, though, so there's that.
Why am I OK when people I know are aware but kind of freaked out when strangers do? Goddess only knows. But that's my level of embarrassment.
What's yours?
To what extent are we embarrassed about our need to wear diapers?
Oh, I know that, especially for the bowel incontinent, a bad accident can always be embarrassing. I feel blessed that, at least to this point, I have not had to experience that. (Interestingly, my husband, who is not IC but does have IBS, has.) But I'm not talking about the acute moment. I'm talking about the more chronic need.
We all (or anyway the vast majority of us) wear diapers 24/7 because we have no alternative. Does that simple fact embarrass you?
If so, to what extent? Would you be embarrassed if someone noticed the diaper under your clothes? If someone heard you changing in a rest room? If others who know you knew? If someone found your changing supplies? Etc.
If not, how have you managed to work past the societal imperative that says people of a certain age should not be in diapers? Are you really comfortable with others knowing? Etc.
My own answer here is:
I'm working on it. Honestly, I don't want to be embarrassed by what really is a medical necessity. I mean, I don't go around wearing a diaper for shorts or a t-shirt that says "Hey, I'm wearing diapers!' or anything; there is no reason to shove one's problems in others' faces. But still...
I've said that I am working on stories and a novel that attempt to place IC characters who wear diapers into mainstream culture. I have a couple of good friends who know. All of my children know. Pretty much anyone they bring into the house knows, as I don't have enough storage space to hide my diapers. I'm fine with this. As I said: it's a medical issue, and I feel absolutely no need to be embarrassed about it...
Yet...
Out of my control, I still find myself a little freaked out. I still worry if the diaper can be seen through my clothes. I still try to avoid letting others hear it in the rest room or see it when I dispose it in the trash there. I've lately discovered that I'm fine when someone finds them in my purse, though, so there's that.
Why am I OK when people I know are aware but kind of freaked out when strangers do? Goddess only knows. But that's my level of embarrassment.
What's yours?