Fareware.

I regret writing this, but I'll be killing myself in the following days or weeks to come, due to some recent incidents, I have no other options.

I apologize, but I do not wish to have this happen to me, I weighed the pros and cons, but I have no other options.

I'm sorry, but I don't want this bullshit hanging over my head, It's just too much, I can't sleep, eat, I'm legit paranoid and keep sketching out whenever I see police.

It has become to much to cope with, I'm sorry but I can't risk this, I don't know what to do, but there is no other options.

I literally don't know what to do, I've told one of my friends as a final goodbye female friend of mine, I'm setting up a electronic "kill switch" that will release some decryption keys for my suicide note on a server very soon.

I don't know what to do, this is pushing me way over the edge, I literally can't cope anymore, I'm crying, I just want to hug people before I decide my fate.

I'm physically unwell from all this stress, I'm sweating constantly etc.. this has pushed me over the edge.

I don't know what to do, I think I need to go to hospital

I just don't know.. fuck my life.

Go to the hospital now. It doesn't have to be like this. There is light at the end of the tunnel but when you are seriously depressed sometimes you can't see that.

Get help now it would be a really big shame to lose you.


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Get help now!

I'm a first responder in my area, I've responded to many people in your frame of mind.
Everyone that survived the situation regretted their decision to hurt themselves later. It's hard if not impossible to see at the time, but with help it will change, I promise.


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Jess,

Please go to the hospital. The kind of stress you've been under just recently could push anyone over the edge, and I know all too well how it feels to be so anxious that it is literally impossible to sleep or eat. It's a kind of living hell, so I understand why you'd want to just about jump out of your own skin to escape it. On top of crushing depression, suicide can become very tempting. I know, I've been there. But there are ways to get through it, and a hospital can provide both psychological and medical assistance to make it tremendously easier to surpass than it seems right now. Please don't give up, hon.

:hug:

LittleJess, you need to go to the hospital. They're trained to help people in your situation.
At the very least, call one of the helplines. Again, they're trained to help people going through what you're going through.
They are your best option. Use them. Even if you don't think they'll help, why not take a chance, try them and see?
Please, for the sake of all your friends here, get the help you need. We want you to feel better.

Since this is the latest in a series of posts/blog entries like this, I'm setting you moderated until you actually get help, and are stable again.
Take this as a strong encouragement to actually get help, rather than continuing on the destructive path you are on.