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Thread: I feel I'm in the wrong job

  1. #1

    Default I feel I'm in the wrong job

    For the past 3-4 months, I've been working in a charity shop whilst collecting benefits for looking for a job.

    Ever since I was 8, all I wanted to do was to work with young children in a day care but I feel inside that I'm not allowed to do that.

    When I moved to England from Wales in December, I spent Christmas there for the first time in years, however on December/ February time, I had to find something to do during the week to get my dad and his gf off my back and for something to do during the week that's productive. So I joined a local charity shop.

    Whilst I enjoy it there a bit, I also find it boring standing behind tills, I like going through clothes but there feels like there is something missing and I've been going to work trying to get through yet another day and I'm not looking forward to it, in fact more often than not, I don't want to go to work, everytime I go it seems like my soul is being Drained and I am forced to be somebody I'm not. Iv met some good people at the charity shop and I'm not being bullied or anything there but I can't stand my manager always being so cheerful and jolly where I'm trying to get through an hour let alone a 4 hour shift.

    It started out as something I had to do to get in good books with my dad and his gf but now I'm on benefits, they ring up the charity shop I'm working at and check I'm in work doing my hours. When ever I'm at work every 10 minutes literally I'm so bored and looking at the clock every 10 minutes and at the moment I'm trying to get through it every half an hour. I dread getting up for work in the morning and I'm finding it difficult to get out of bed at week days and I feel so depressed, yet on days off, I'm feel relatively normal. I often make excuses to both staff and my dad about why I'm home early.

    My thoughts are to go onto childcare and volunteer in a nursey and whilst I'm looking for a job, I could look for appreciships in day cares and I've already let my advisor at the job centre that I've changed my mind about what job I want.

    I was thinking of 3 options

    Option A: juggling 2 jobs in a way, I work 3 days a week, so on the other 2 days I could go to day care on the days off but say I'm working extra days. That way we are north happy but I'm still stuck in a job that doesn't suit me and bores the daylights out of me.

    Option B: secretly switch the volunteering into childcare, I could pretend to my dad that I'm still in the charity shop but let my supervisor know I've changed where I volunteer. This could be risky as my dad may find out I'm at the nursery, say if he sees me outside on the street with nursey staff pushing a stroller and wonder why I'm not at my shop. This could lead to mistrust and arguments and make me feel bad about myself further.

    OptionC: tell my dad and gf about how I feel and have no secrets.

    The reason why I'm reluctant to let my dad know about the fact I want to be in childcare was because I suffered a mental breakdown in the nursery basically because I repressed my infantilism back then and my mom kept me on edge because of her ilnesses and she kept threatening and yelling at me, even coming as far as trying to hit me too. My dad may think that I may go that way again, but honestly I really don't think it's going to come back, also my college knew about my breakdown and stopped me going onto the course I wanted to go on a year ago. But since then I moved areas and I don't want to go back to college as college envoirmnet makes me nervous.

    I think my dad thinks I've moved on from childcare and I'm scared in case he has a go at me, or thinks I just want to play all the time, but yes childcare is still a job and one I enjoy and will be good at as my confidence has grown.

    What hurts the most is that my nana wants me to be grown lady and she thinks childcare wasn't the best choice for me but she can't tell what's really in my head as I always have dreams about nurseries and I feel rejected from them every time I dream about them and they make me feel upset like I've done something wrong and I don't deserve to be happy. It's going to be hard telling my family I want to go back to childcare and I feel very anxious about it.

    Mind dad always makes comments about going abroad as a kids club rep.

    A dispondant girl, angelic xx

  2. #2

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    I would chose option c as I had to do something similar. Back in 2011 I had a breakdown while pursuing an online degree in computer forensics and I chose to be admitted to my local hospitals psychiatric unit and a year later I told them that I wanted to go back to school to pursue my degree again and at first my family was against it but as time went on the came to accept it. After 2 years of working on my pre requisites without actually being able to take classes in my major I switched to a different school and major which again was met with resistance but my brother's gf, her son and my brother supported my decision and handled the rest of my family and I graduated in 2016 with a associates in computer and network technologies and in December of 2016 I got an interview at the computer shop that I work at now. So I would suggest sitting tour father and his gf down and explain how you feel and why you still want to pursue child care as a line of employment

    Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

  3. #3

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    Go with option C and go for happiness. Option B sounds like it could blow up in your face and land you in a far worse position than you are in now! I'm here in the States, so Childcare is likely viewed differently (there's not a stigma towards it, more the common knowledge that the pay is terrible. . . and it really, truly is). I'm not sure how it's viewed across the pond. . .
    But we only get one shot and if you're honest and up front with your parents, they will respect you for it far more than if they feel like they've been betrayed/lied to. It sounds like you have some rather strong willed people in your life.
    Good luck with whatever you decide!

  4. #4

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    Another questions is when do I tell my dad and his gf that I want to chnage careers and what my action plans are? Should I tell them asap or tell them once I get a place in a day care?

  5. #5

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    I've told them and they said they will support us and basically don't screw this up

  6. #6

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    Good for you. Good luck doing what you want to do.

  7. #7

    Default

    Thanks little man Alex x hope it goes well, I'm looking for a place in a daycare this afternoon

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    Ever since I was 8, all I wanted to do was to work with young children in a day care but I feel inside that I'm not allowed to do that.
    My thoughts are to go onto childcare and volunteer in a nursey and whilst I'm looking for a job, I could look for appreciships in day cares and I've already let my advisor at the job centre that I've changed my mind about what job I want.
    The reason why I'm reluctant to let my dad know about the fact I want to be in childcare was because I suffered a mental breakdown in the nursery basically because I repressed my infantilism back then and my mom kept me on edge because of her ilnesses and she kept threatening and yelling at me, even coming as far as trying to hit me too. My dad may think that I may go that way again, but honestly I really don't think it's going to come back, also my college knew about my breakdown and stopped me going onto the course I wanted to go on a year ago. But since then I moved areas and I don't want to go back to college as college envoirmnet makes me nervous.
    Angelic

    I'm glad to see that you are looking to take action in your life to make it into the life that you want.

    I'm not sure what happened during your breakdown, or what was said, or even exactly how long ago this was. breakdowns are more common then some people think, especially around those teenage years. I know that I have said things that in retrospect, I am extremely ashamed and embarrassed by.

    but what good is regret, or hindsight if we limit ourselves from trying again, or pursuing the things that we desire?

    It sounds like you already know you really want to pursue working in a nursery. it also sounds as though you and your father have not sat down and had a heart to heart on the idea of you working in this field yet, and that you are guessing and anticipating his POSSIBLE reactions.

    I would try to dig a little deeper within yourself, perhaps even writing down the EXACT causes of your previous breakdown and coming to a conclusion of whether you believe you will, or will not have another re-occurrence.

    You may already be well aware of this, but working with children is an extremely stressful job, not only because of the children, but also because of co-workers. there needs to be a solid foundation for any team of caretakers. I think you have the compassion to pursue this field, I only advise you to make sure that YOUR sure before you do. make sure you have the confidence and self belief.

    you mentioned in the last line of this quote, that you do not wish to go back to college, as it makes you nervous. I understand that things can be anxious or you can get the feeling of DREAD about starting your day, however I would also note that there are a LOT of really great skills as well as knowledge that can be beneficial to you, and those who you wish to help in your life that can be gleaned from college.

    While, I support you pursuing the field of work you desire, I also encourage you to re-think your reasons for not continuing college, and decide if they are truly healthy reasons.



    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    When I moved to England from Wales in December, I spent Christmas there for the first time in years, however on December/ February time, I had to find something to do during the week to get my dad and his gf off my back and for something to do during the week that's productive. So I joined a local charity shop.

    Whilst I enjoy it there a bit, I also find it boring standing behind tills, I like going through clothes but there feels like there is something missing and I've been going to work trying to get through yet another day and I'm not looking forward to it, in fact more often than not, I don't want to go to work, everytime I go it seems like my soul is being Drained and I am forced to be somebody I'm not. Iv met some good people at the charity shop and I'm not being bullied or anything there but I can't stand my manager always being so cheerful and jolly where I'm trying to get through an hour let alone a 4 hour shift.

    It started out as something I had to do to get in good books with my dad and his gf but now I'm on benefits, they ring up the charity shop I'm working at and check I'm in work doing my hours. When ever I'm at work every 10 minutes literally I'm so bored and looking at the clock every 10 minutes and at the moment I'm trying to get through it every half an hour. I dread getting up for work in the morning and I'm finding it difficult to get out of bed at week days and I feel so depressed, yet on days off, I'm feel relatively normal. I often make excuses to both staff and my dad about why I'm home early.
    I completely understand where you are coming from with this. IF I am not working a job where I am constantly busy or have something to do, the day seems to last a week.

    Keeping busy is really the key to my happiness at work.



    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post


    Option A: juggling 2 jobs in a way, I work 3 days a week, so on the other 2 days I could go to day care on the days off but say I'm working extra days. That way we are north happy but I'm still stuck in a job that doesn't suit me and bores the daylights out of me.

    Not a bad idea to get an extra cash flow of income. this is a bit of a round-about answer, so please bare with me.

    I have often thought, that were I to win the lottery and suddenly have more money then I need, I would continue to work a job that I may not be in love with. not full time, but at least a few hours through the week.

    The reasoning for this, is that doing the things we dont desire to do in life, enriches the things that we do desire to do.

    they say money does not bring happiness. it's only when we have something to compare the joyous things in our life against that we truly appreciate them.



    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    Option B: secretly switch the volunteering into childcare, I could pretend to my dad that I'm still in the charity shop but let my supervisor know I've changed where I volunteer. This could be risky as my dad may find out I'm at the nursery, say if he sees me outside on the street with nursey staff pushing a stroller and wonder why I'm not at my shop. This could lead to mistrust and arguments and make me feel bad about myself further.
    Secrets, NOT a fan.



    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    OptionC: tell my dad and gf about how I feel and have no secrets.
    I would do this regardless of whether you choose to pursue Option A or not.

    Communication and understanding are important, and while parents have a hard time readjusting their views of their children as they get older, a good nudge to make those views change is communication.


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Good luck!! you have some interesting things to get through, but your well past your first step in making your life full of the happiness you want. I hope I was able to help

  9. #9

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    I did tell them how I felt and they said they would support me, I've already dropped off a resume at a day care, so bets of luck there for myself

  10. #10

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