Being a parent with incontinence

So i've been curious about the parents out there with incontinence.how do you go about telling your kids about it? Or do you tell them at all? And if you do, when and how would be the best way?

Well I'm guessing your kids are still young judging by your age, it isn't anything you need to bring up until it becomes an issue. When they get old enough to understand a bit better you can be honest about it.

Oh no i dont have any kids but i was just wondering how people who do deal with it

I don't have any kids, but I've got younger cousins who are still between 5-15 and the majority of them know that I wear nappies.

The biggest issue that has ever been made out of of it has probably been caused by naivety, as a few times I've been asked "Why is xxx wearing a nappy, only babies wear those". To which the standard "xxx has a special medical problem"

On the contrary, one of my cousins started wetting the bed again at 11 and I was used as an example by his parents "xxx still has accidents, so don't feel bad"

I have 2 boys, actually young men (27 and 30). They were 10 and 7 when I got sick, required surgery and developed my bowel urgency problems. They were old enough at the time to know that I was pretty sick and I'm sure they knew about the issues but I never discussed it directly with them. They're polite young men and probably feel they would be invading my privacy with questions. They are both out on their own but do stop by fairly regularly. I don't keep diapers laying out in the open but I do have a drying rack in my home office for my cloth diapers and plastic pants. I'm sure on occasion they've seen them but haven't commented. My disposables are in a few boxes in the corner of the office with the bag I'm using at the time in a storage bin in my bedroom. I had a real tough time with the bowel IC in the beginning, probably for a little over a year. Very runny stool until I complained to my doc. Once I began (under his advise) to use several large doses of a bulk producing fiber supplement, I became much better with stool consistancy and accepted it better. The Metamucil did nothing for the severe urgency but at least I had solid BM's.After 20 years I've become more at ease with my circumstances and would answer any questions they might have. But I think they would be uncomfortable discussing it. My wife at the time probably gave them just enough information and they just ignore it. My advise is just be discreet when they are young. Your spouse could always have a little talk with them too. Or you could mention it to them. Kids are curious by nature so it's best not to keep it a secret too long. Your demeaner and attitude will have a lot to do with how they accept any information youe choose to share.

Thanks for your input jack I appreciate you telling your story and im glad you're doing better!

tw89 said:

Oh no i dont have any kids but i was just wondering how people who do deal with it

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https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/109290-Being-a-parent-with-incontinence

You didn't happen to also make this post did you?

I've said this before, but obviously not with you around to hear. When I became IC (urine only) four years ago, I was about to go on a long European vacation with two of my children (then 18/21). The simplest thing to do, rather than attempt the impossible (which would be to hide it from them when we were sharing hotel rooms), was just to tell them. And I told my (then 28-yr-old) son as well just to be fair. No issues at all. They've all seen me diapered at one time or another: also no big deal.

No i actually saw it when i was scrolling and noticed nobody answered and it sparked my curiosity

Ahh so are you planning on having children soon?

In the future, yes.

I have 2 kids and have not hidden that I have diapers nor have I flaunted that fact. The need to discuss my medical issues with them has not arisen so we have not.

I don't see any reason to tell anyone who doesn't need to know.

That includes my kids. I've shared hotel rooms (and even beds) with them. It's not hard to be discreet.

rio20090 said:

I don't see any reason to tell anyone who doesn't need to know.

That includes my kids. I've shared hotel rooms (and even beds) with them. It's not hard to be discreet.

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How old are your kids? Mine, as I noted, were both young adults (18/21) and we were on a three-week Euro vacation, which meant I had an entire suitcase full of diapers that would not be enough and would need to be replenished. I saw no reason to cause myself (and consequently them) undue stress by attempting to hide a medical condition from them for that entire time. Since then, I've discovered that it would have been absolutely foolish of me to have attempted it. Not only did they have no issues (why would they?) but to keep the issue hidden on an ongoing basis in my tiny townhouse when they are home in summers, etc., with the openness we've always had, would have been nigh on impossible. I don't have enough places to store cases of diapers where there is no way to happen upon them.

Thank you for sharing that I appreciate it.i dont have any kids right now but me and my partner are thinking about having kids and it just was on my mind.