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Thread: 23 and still a virgin

  1. #1

    Default 23 and still a virgin

    I am 23 y/o male and I have never been in a relationship (still a virgin). I wasnt worrying before until now, I start to think that it might have something to do with my diaper wearing fetish. I really want to experience sexual intercourse with a girl instead of wearing diaper all my life. What should i do?

  2. #2

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    I only lost my virginity 2 months ago, I'm 20. Before my last 2 relationships it had been like 7 years I was with someone and they rejected me for liking diapers. For a while I just wasn't bothered about relationships or sex. I wanted to find someone that had similar interests to me or wouldn't mind diapers and stuff. I found a girl last year on Instagram and we hit it off, we met up a few times but she ended the relationship. Then last September / October I started speaking to another girl on Instagram and we've been together since November. Both these girls are ABDL so it's not hard to find others that want relationships.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #3

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    You almost make it sound like it's either one or the other...

    Well, the obvious solution is to seek out a relationship with a person who accepts your diaper wearing, for a have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too deal... Honestly that's easier said than done, but women are not just going to come knocking on your door after all.

    I wouldn't say wearing diapers is the problem unless you're so very very engrossed in them that you have lost sexual desire for people.

    For the record, I'm a virgin at 24, never been in a relationship either, but I 1)am asexual and have only romantic desire towards the opposite sex, 2)am autistic, and 3)was homeschooled at my life with overbearing parents so have very little experience with even making friends.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    What should i do?
    Friendship and/or dating generally come before sex, so I guess my first suggestion is: Try to slow down a little. You're got plennnnnty of time. Take inventory of your opportunities to meet women and go from there. Slowly.

    My first time having sex sucked. It was bad. The anticipation was enormous, and the expectations unreasonably high for somebody who'd never done it before. I didn't know what to do besides the most obvious thing, and when it was over I knew I hadn't been much of a "partner." Luckily, the girl I was with had been a good friend of mine for a while, and was new at it as well, so we resolved to practice until it was fun and mutually satisfying. That was actually a process, funny though it might sound. But while males and females seem to be born knowing how to plug themselves together and form baby-making machines, the social aspect of sex is definitely a learned thing, and definitely benefits from an established non-sexual relationship. So, at least in my experience, that's what to find first.

  5. #5

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    I'm 27 and haven't even dated. I'm waiting for that special someone. Even if it means that will be alone for sometime to come, I will wait. Personally I think it needs to be someone special who takes you virginity. Someone who love you for you. I hope you don't think you need to be rid of your virginity because other people think oddly of you.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I am 23 y/o male and I have never been in a relationship (still a virgin). I wasnt worrying before until now, I start to think that it might have something to do with my diaper wearing fetish. I really want to experience sexual intercourse with a girl instead of wearing diaper all my life. What should i do?
    You've "serious" problem. Diapers invovled in sexual way are everything except atractive for 90 - 99% of females. Everthing can be resolved, but in this case is better enjoying sexual activities changing partners and appearing IC. That gets another limit: Not invovling another baby stuff (pacis, clothes etc.)
    Sometimes you can find some "Domina" who can enjoy some kind of ABDL activities, but it's still a few strange included in BDSM comunity.
    Another option is keeping "dark side of the moon" in private and not share...

    I'm not virgin from my 13, but it's another story.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CrazySmoker View Post
    You've "serious" problem. Diapers invovled in sexual way are everything except atractive for 90 - 99% of females. Everthing can be resolved, but in this case is better enjoying sexual activities changing partners and appearing IC. That gets another limit: Not invovling another baby stuff (pacis, clothes etc.)
    Sometimes you can find some "Domina" who can enjoy some kind of ABDL activities, but it's still a few strange included in BDSM comunity.
    Another option is keeping "dark side of the moon" in private and not share...

    I'm not virgin from my 13, but it's another story.
    If you're encouraging OP to tell potential partners that he's wearing diapers because he's incontinent when he's not... that's a terrible, AWFUL idea. No strong relationship is built on lies.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I am 23 y/o male and I have never been in a relationship (still a virgin). I wasnt worrying before until now, I start to think that it might have something to do with my diaper wearing fetish. I really want to experience sexual intercourse with a girl instead of wearing diaper all my life. What should i do?
    Hey Hand, I will second Cottontail and suggest take a breather. If I was completely honest and not meaning to sound harsh at all, many girls will find the idea of a partner in diapers unattractive. That is not to say someone is unable to accept you for being yourself but you may find it difficult to mix the two together, at least in the initial stages. There is no reason that you can't get to where you want to be and still wear diapers but you do really need to be very honest with yourself about what is happening. May I ask if you can only get aroused with diapers involved or do you feel able to have 'normal' sex? I have seen a common element with the littles I play with who explain they feel having sex without diapers is nearly impossible and it worries them.

    I remember when I was a DL, way back when, I used to worry that having this fetish would always impact on my life. What I discovered was that there was much more to my sexuality then just liking wearing diapers. I really dug deep and realised that it was part of a bigger picture. I started thinking about 'why' I liked diapers and not just the top level things like the touch, smell or bulk etc. It sent me on a journey that made me expand my understanding of myself and what I wanted from a relationship. It really worked out for me and I realised I was able to have relationship, and sex, with people that also shared fetishes. I came to the conclusion that I would never be in a 'normal' relationship, and this has proven itself to be true. I am a much more rounded person and can attract a wider group of people now because I expanded myself and my own understanding of my sexuality.

    Now I have taken the role of a mommy and my sexual exploration has seen me evolve. I started by giving up diapers for a while and seeking out others who had fetishes or preferred atypical relationships. You may surprise yourself if you stop thinking about the obvious and experimenting with what turns you on. I am not meaning to tell you what to do but just give my experiences as I was in your situation when I was much younger. Always thinking I would never have sex because of this fetish. As others have said there are other ABDL people online but the boys outweigh the girls by a large margin and you should be looking at alternatives to simply finding someone who has the same fetish. This goes deeper as well, a relationship based on one thing, such as a love of diapers, could be very difficult to maintain. By expanding your horizons you may find that your ideas around sex may be very compatible with someone who has different fetishes.

    It certainly is possible to find love and acceptance even when we have fetishes. People will surprise you and are able to make compromises if they are mutually beneficial. You may find a girl who has a fetish for dressing in latex and between both of you could indulge in your fantasies together for example. If you are just looking for straight up, normal sex, then be prepared for some hard choices. Women are very intuitive when it comes to picking partners that will be good for them and if you are constantly worrying about your secret it will show. Finding a balance will be crucial if you do not wish to explain your fetish to a potential lover. It may be necessary to give diapers up to build a relationship if you are unable to juggle the two separately.

    With all that being said, try to relax about the situation. Plenty of people start having sex later in life and there is no problem with that at all. Be true to yourself and make yourself the best you possible. Maybe look out for local events on the BDSM and fetish scene. Even if there are no specific ABDL folk at least you may start meeting people who will not judge you and may even be interested in hearing your story. I spend almost all my social life on the fetish scene in London and I have heard of some stuff that make diaper wearing seem like an everyday past time. Remember you are a great human being with lots to give to the world, you are not defined by your desires. Show the world why it should have sex with you!

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    I'm 27 and haven't even dated. I'm waiting for that special someone. Even if it means that will be alone for sometime to come, I will wait. Personally I think it needs to be someone special who takes you virginity. Someone who love you for you. I hope you don't think you need to be rid of your virginity because other people think oddly of you.
    I look at it this way too. I'm 35, was in love once, and we certainly played "games", but for various reasons I was never quite comfortable enough to actually have sex. After 2.5 years the relationship fell apart, so maybe my intuition was telling me something. When and if I meet someone I feel completely comfortable with in terms of physical intimacy, that's when I will lose my virginity. If I never meet such a person, that will be sad... but because of the loss of happy memories, someone to share one's life and experiences with... not because of lack of sex. I've noticed the concept of virginity being frequently over-emphasized especially amongst my male friends and coworkers, and to be honest it puzzles me. It's as if it's a badge of shame to get past a certain age without "scoring". o.O; I don't understand the mentality, to me it seems that there are countless experiences that are far richer and more meaningful to worry about missing out on.

    So, my advice to the OP in a nutshell is: Don't worry about it. Also, what Cottontail said. ^.^

  10. #10

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    I'm in the same boat your in. I've had moments where I fail to approach a girl or as them out because this is always in the back of my head. "What if she finds out?" "She's going to think I'm s freak." "She'll tell her friends." Etc. etc.

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