Unpleasant experience of loss of control

I've been looking forward to wearing nappies this weekend - I have never done this for a whole weekend before. I'm a DL and I've even deliberately messed my nappy before.

So I put on a new M4 nappy and was getting ready to go out this morning when without any warning whatever I competely lost control of my bowels and suddenly filled my nappy.

It was like I had a spasm or something. By the time I knew what was happening it was over. I wasn't even aware I needed to go.

So I cleaned up, which was not a pleasant experience and jumped back in the shower. I hurt a bit and bled as the sudden loss of control upset my piles.

Anyway I started to think about the what-ifs - what if I hadn't been wearing, what if I was a long way from home, what if I've caused this to myself by wearing etc.

I put a fresh nappy on - which I more or less had to do due to bleeding and finally went out.

By the end of it I was practically crying. It is hard to express why this was so upsetting - the complete loss of control and not being able to trust my body, worrying
that I've caused this to myself - I don't know really.

Anyway I'm sorry if this was a bit yucky and whingey, but it really upset me.

I guess I'm seaking reassurance that this was a one-off and I shouldn't worry about it too much.

Look at it as a premonition. No, I do not think that you did this to yourself. I have been wearing because I have occasional but rare (about once per month) bowel accidents (shatulance). One day fueling my car, I had SUIC for the first time - never had urinary issues in the past. I had one more incident while I was pulling down my diaper at a toilet (that did not go well), but have not had a repeat of that problem in a few months. Just look at it as a one-off unless you have further more frequent problems and keep wearing - pleasure and security all in one.

I think you should really seek some medical help with that. A loss of bowel control followed by bleeding is something potentially really serious.

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Thanks for your helpful and perceptive replies.

I think the incident and my reaction to it was a warning that I need to look after myself better physically and emotionally.

I also think I need to see the doctor about my piles again and be more assertive about seeing a specialist. Probably that is going to lead to a painful and unpleasant procedure but it can't go on.

Thanks for your concern MetalMann - I'm pretty sure the bleeding is "just" the piles as I was checked out a couple of years ago due to a different health scare - though I did think I was going to bleed to death during the prep for the colonoscopy . I'm under no illusion that it is OK to bleed like that - but I'm pretty sure it is piles and not IBD or cancer.

I feel a lot better now - thanks guys - and I will see the doctor.

Also I guess such incidents provide a useful excuse to carry on wearing - as if I needed one

I have been living with colitis for over 40 years and once I did damn near bleed to death. When tested, my blood values were half of what they should have been, and that was before I bottomed out. I hope that you do not have any further problems and everything checks out with your doctor, but again I would not over-worry at this point as you have only had one isolated episode.

Osito said:

I've been looking forward to wearing nappies this weekend - I have never done this for a whole weekend before. I'm a DL and I've even deliberately messed my nappy before.

So I put on a new M4 nappy and was getting ready to go out this morning when without any warning whatever I competely lost control of my bowels and suddenly filled my nappy.

It was like I had a spasm or something. By the time I knew what was happening it was over. I wasn't even aware I needed to go.

So I cleaned up, which was not a pleasant experience and jumped back in the shower. I hurt a bit and bled as the sudden loss of control upset my piles.

Anyway I started to think about the what-ifs - what if I hadn't been wearing, what if I was a long way from home, what if I've caused this to myself by wearing etc.

I put a fresh nappy on - which I more or less had to do due to bleeding and finally went out.

By the end of it I was practically crying. It is hard to express why this was so upsetting - the complete loss of control and not being able to trust my body, worrying
that I've caused this to myself - I don't know really.

Anyway I'm sorry if this was a bit yucky and whingey, but it really upset me.

I guess I'm seaking reassurance that this was a one-off and I shouldn't worry about it too much.

Click to expand...

IT wasn't a one off in my case, it was more a look at things to come.

Hemorrhoids can cause incontinence if the tissue is inflamed enough. Just like if you get swelling on a finger, its hard to bend, it loses it's fluidity and stiffens up and movement is limited. Hemorrhoids can do that to your rectum. With that said, surgery to fix it can also increase the chance of incontinence issues as well. Nor to scare you but a doctor can diagnose you a lot better. I wish the best for you.



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Thanks for the helpful comments Kenn, Rennecfox and MetalMann.

I feel a bit guilty today as I'm a lot better and really back to normal apart from some soreness - so I guess I overreacted. My theory is that it was a combination of an upset stomach and my 'roid flare-up.

I'm still going to see the doctor about the bleeding 'roids (and one day I'll learn to spell them )

The worst thing about 'roids is they keep telling you its your own fault - and if you had a good diet, didn't strain (but they make you feel like you need to go all the time), didn't scratch (but they itch) and looked after yourself properly they would go - which is sort of true - but equally you have to live - and whatever I do they seem to flare up periodically.

I'll probably go for the surgery this time - but I am a bit worried about it.

About a month ago, I had drank 3 cups of coffee then went to the store to pick up some items for my wife. As we all know, coffee induces all lot of things. I was leaving the store and felt the urge come. It was sudden and powerful. I walked quickly to my car so I could unload the groceries and quickly go back to the store to use the restroom. When I bent over to grab the water, everything came out without warning. I was sooooo upset. I remembered I kept wipes and an extra diaper in my car under the seat. Luckily, the bathroom at the store is a one person and was right at the entrance. This happens to me when I drink coffee where it's get out my way I need the bathroom now. I don't think it's a medical issue more or less the coffee .

Rado said:

About a month ago, I had drank 3 cups of coffee then went to the store to pick up some items for my wife. As we all know, coffee induces all lot of things. I was leaving the store and felt the urge come. It was sudden and powerful. I walked quickly to my car so I could unload the groceries and quickly go back to the store to use the restroom. When I bent over to grab the water, everything came out without warning. I was sooooo upset. I remembered I kept wipes and an extra diaper in my car under the seat. Luckily, the bathroom at the store is a one person and was right at the entrance. This happens to me when I drink coffee where it's get out my way I need the bathroom now. I don't think it's a medical issue more or less the coffee .

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Coffee is a laxative or has laxative properties FYI. I know after my second cup of my full pot of coffee in the AM I am rushing to the bathroom pulling my diaper down and very quickly sit down before it really comes out ! So caution is advised on heavy coffee consumption.

Drinking 3 cups of coffee, carrying heavy bags of shopping and then bending down does sound like a recipe for an accident.

I'm not a doctor but I think if it doesn't happen regularly and there are no other problems I wouldn't worry too much.

Maybe your body is saying 3 cups of coffee is too much ...

I have had various "sharts" over the years, where I've had accidents while passing gas, and there has been no warning.
I will "gamble" on a risky fart if I'm home and safe, and happily accept the consequences, but I'm talking here about suddenly messing a bit when you didn't realise it was an option. It's happened a couple of times while standing and peeing in the toilet, and a couple of times while lying down.

I have had one incident though, just like you described.

I was laying on the couch, (laying down seems to encourage bowel accidents with me for some reason, although I've never pooped the bed) and I had one leg draped up over the couch back, while I talked on the phone.
Suddenly, with absolutely no prior warning, pushing, or passing of gas, I just crapped my pants.

As much as I admit to occasionally deliberately doing it, what the OP has explained is correct. It is terrifying and extremely worrying. It's not like if you've had an upset stomach, are unwell, or have even been gambling a bit.

It scares the s... out of you! (Pun fully intended)

Thankfully for me, it was an unexplained one-off event. If it were to have happened again, I would not have hesitated to immediately visit the doctor.
I'd urge you to do the same. Don't panic or worry too much, as it's probably just an anomaly. If you can't find a reason, e.g. diet or health, consider it to probably just be a fluke of nature. But, if it happens again, get some medical advice.

Good luck.

Thanks Wombat that was useful. I think I've being trying to rationalise away what happened - and what you said brought me back to the feeling when it happened.

As you say, if it happens again I will definitely go to the doctor. I'll deal with the roids and wait and see - but hopefully I won't experience that again.

I'm hoping you don't experience it again either.

Another point Osito, and I don't know if it's the same for you, but I definitely do find it easier to have an accident when I'm diapered. I have great bladder control, and find it hard, although not impossible, to set myself up for a real accident while wearing pants, but it's a lot easier in a diaper. Messing is the same. I don't accidentally mess, except for the aforementioned "sharts," when I deliberately push my luck. If I do go "all the way," I generally have to push a bit, especially in pants, but it's a lot easier when diapered.
Subconsciously, wearing a diaper will make it a lot easier to go, either ones or twos, and I wonder perhaps if this was a factor in your incident? You had just put your padding on, and I wonder if your brain just had one of those "It's okay to go now" moments.

Yes I think that is possible. It just felt so completely different from normal - and so sudden and un-controlled. I remember instinctively clenching after it was already over.

I'm not going to worry about it too much unless it happens again.

I believe that that is a wise course.

But to paraphrase McCoy (Bones) from Star Trek: "Jim, I am an engineer, not a doctor!"

Thanks Kenn - and for the star trek quote too

I was all better today.

Just embarassingly frequent for a while today at work - and that's my own fault for wearing nappies all weekend

In my experience, loss of control is always unpleasant :laugh:

MeTaLMaNN1983 said:

Hemorrhoids can cause incontinence if the tissue is inflamed enough. Just like if you get swelling on a finger, its hard to bend, it loses it's fluidity and stiffens up and movement is limited. Hemorrhoids can do that to your rectum. With that said, surgery to fix it can also increase the chance of incontinence issues as well. Nor to scare you but a doctor can diagnose you a lot better. I wish the best for you.

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Thanks MetalMann. I've made a doctor's appointment and will try to see a specialist after that. I think the risks of permanent IC are pretty low - but definitely something to consider.

Wombat said:

I will "gamble" on a risky fart if I'm home and safe, and happily accept the consequences,

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When I'm sick at home with a stomach flu (and the mix of gas/diarrhea that comes with it), diapers are much more practical in this regard. No need to worry about whether or not to trust that fart, just let it go and get the relief of the lowered gut pressure and get back to sleep. Deal with the consequences when it's time to get up and get some food/drin/meds and of course change my diaper.

The last few times I've been sick I've maintained this attitude and it's made the sick day a bit more tolerable. A time or two I've crawled outa of bed and staggered into the bathroom for an afternoon change and gotten a bit of a surprise. And remembering back to the days of being home sick and having to jump out of bed several times during the day to change my underwear because of a "wet fart", and how much of a headache that was when I was already feeling bad. "This is SOOOO much better!"

The "normals" don't have any idea how good we have it when we have the flu!