Renaissance man. Real sweet boy. A Tortured life. A New Hope.

The title of this thread reads like the promo to a new film, wherein Westley becomes a Jedi.

Were you to meet me.... it may play out like this:

"Upon entering the cavernous hall, you are aware of approaching footsteps. A large human male enters from the opposite side of the room. His countenance challenges your resolve as he turns his shoulders to fit through the doorway. His steps are sure and swift. Tattoos adorn his inner and outer forearms. Intelligent grey green eyes search your face and seem to record every inch of your personage. His face, quite comely, shows but few scars and a flash of straight white teeth.

Then, a smile spreads across his face and you are enveloped in the warmth and kindness of his greeting. Arms, heavily muscled, pull you into a deep embrace and you feel a thunderous heart beating inside a chest who's soft surface gives little damping to the hard muscle beneath. As he moves off to the next of your party, you turn and notice an edge of white plastic sneaking out of the top of his trousers. The soft crinkling sounds you heard upon his approach make sense now and yet...."

(( I would love to be a writer someday. Just too busy at the moment ))

My Dr and I have worked out why I have to wear diapers.
My therapist and I have worked out why I enjoy wearing diapers.

Yet, I cannot seem to reconcile how either of these factor into an acceptable life. Diapers comfort me, excite me and frankly... torture me.
My ex-wife didn't want anything to do with "my situation". I'm constantly worried/excited that someone will notice I'm wearing diapers. Yet, I'm always grateful, when I can feel the wetness and know that my diaper may have just saved me from professional suicide once more.

Hi everyone, I'm grateful to have found this forum. I hope to find some community herein and seek to share wisdom, hope, love and kindness with all.

So, allow me to break it down. I am cis-male and hetero-flexible. For those not familiar with those terms: I was born male and identify as male. My sexual orientation is heterosexual, though I am flexible with that definition. IE: I read/present as straight and mainly enjoy sex with cis-women / trans-women (especially ABDL/Mommy/Caregiver). However, under the right circumstances, I have enjoyed playing with trans-men, crossdressers/sissies and recently found that I enjoy playing with ABDL boys. I'm a performer, an artist, a technician, poet and parent. I can compose verse or repair a broken washing machine. A lover of music (Celtic Punk, Blues, Big Band are some of my current favorite playlists) I try to see a couple live shows a year. Huge fan of live performances and motion picture. An actor myself, I often use various accents (with proficiency I might add) to just be someone else, from another place when I'm on vacation/location.

I'm a big bad tatooed, motorcycle riding social justice advocate. Many of my friends are leaders in LGBT communities and organizations and I'm always happy to debate issues or help shed light on topics many straight folks just can't seem to get a grip on.

So, if you want someone to philosophize with or help you sort out an engine noise in your SUV.... let me know. I'll be looking for support navigating the nuances dating, work life, why I miss mmporg's, hiding my diapers and not hiding them and most importantly... how to live without shame.

Lastly, we are sexual beings... at least I know I am. Feel free to share, ask, poll me. Nothing is taboo. I'm tired of hiding and hope that through this forum, I can learn the necessary skills and gain the courage needed to be 100% me in my personal life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction. I look forward to sharing and reading your posts.

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Oh... and I wear a kilt most days.

Hello HotTatorTot and welcome to the group.

Hi HotTaterTot,
welcome to the group. That is some introduction! I'm sure you'll find the support you are looking for, this is a really friendly forum and the members are great. Can i ask a question? What is a cis-male/female it's not an abbreviation i've come across before. Othjer than that look through the forums and tyhen dive right in, the more you put into Adisc the more you will get out of it.

Hi @HotTatorTot.

That is the longest and most informative introduction I have read. I like your taste in music. I'm looking forward to learning more about you. Welcome!

PCBaby said:

What is a cis-male/female it's not an abbreviation i've come across before.

Click to expand...

See this article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender

Thanks BabyDenise,
I know that today everything seems to have a label, but do we really need to label non transgender male and females?

PCBaby said:

but do we really need to label non transgender male and females?

Click to expand...

Hey PCBaby, you know... I don't like labeling things either. However, we as a society have yet to become fully comfortable with the gender spectrum. For many people whom have their gender identity questioned on a daily basis, statements like "I'm cis-male", is kind of like code. It lets people know that I care enough to learn the current terminology and respect your gender identity.



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Hi CanadianGal,

Yeah, I can be a bit long winded both in person and in writing. Hope my intro wasn't TOO much.

Hoping Great Big Sea tours soon, I love those Newfoundlanders.

Don't get me wrong i can understand what you mean, but i personally don't feel that way and while society in general may not yet accept certain gender types, this is Adisc and as such is completely accepting of all gender types (as far as i am aware), which is just as well as ADISC members helped me come out as Bi. By the way, we weren't complaining about your long intro, rather we were congratulating you.

HotTatorTot said:

Hey PCBaby, you know... I don't like labeling things either. However, we as a society have yet to become fully comfortable with the gender spectrum. For many people whom have their gender identity questioned on a daily basis, statements like "I'm cis-male", is kind of like code. It lets people know that I care enough to learn the current terminology and respect your gender identity.

Click to expand...

I for one appreciated that. ^.^ Welcome to the forum!

Hi. Welcome to the forum.

If it's not too personal, I would love to hear your therapists thoughts on why you enjoy wearing diapers. I've often thought about talking to a therapist, but never seem to find the time to sit down and figure out the process. I think it would be interesting to talk to someone like that.

Eriksrud said:

Hi. Welcome to the forum.

If it's not too personal, I would love to hear your therapists thoughts on why you enjoy wearing diapers. I've often thought about talking to a therapist, but never seem to find the time to sit down and figure out the process. I think it would be interesting to talk to someone like that.

Click to expand...

Interesting.... well, since I put it out there, guess I have to answer that question. However, since I'm pressed for time today... you'll get the cliff notes version.

Lots of love as a toddler and child. There are many stories of me picking the cotton out of my diapers and leaving a trail like Hansel.
Can remember lots of loving, kind and gentle hands on me as a baby/toddler/child.
Was a bed wetter long into teens. (rem behavior disorder, sleepwalker etc)
Mother though bed wetting was the most abominable thing in the world and didn't let me wear diapers to bed.
I began doing my own laundry and changing my own bed clothes around age 8 so I could tuck towels on top of garbage bags under my sheets.
Mother withdrew emotionally around age 11. SHAME was Mother's #1 disciplinary tool/weapon of choice.
Babysitter was family friend and said she didn't want wet beds, so I had to wear diapers at her house.
She also breast fed me until around the age of 7. Until age 10, I could wear diapers the entire time I with her.

Age 11, new baby sitter. 17 year old neighbor girl.
She was told by my former babysitter, that I needed to wear diapers.
She thought, that meant she had to change me. I didn't correct her and soon.... (insert many men's fantasies)
The kind, gentle affection I received from her, was stark contrast to the love/hate relationship of my mother.

For many years, I used sex to feel closeness and connection. To feel love. Several years ago, I had prostate surgery to remove a stone.
I wore diapers for the first time in many years and was instantly in bliss. Was recently divorced and a female friend flew in to visit and take
care of me. (had also just been in an accident) She was a nurse and the whole diaper/sex thing started up again.

Today... when things get really tough (like they are now) I use diapers to feel that comforting pressure. I masturbate in them from time to time and I seem to wet myself throughout the day without warning. So, not soaking my pants in front of clients is a good thing.

Hope that answers your question.

For others, I can simply be that potty training was traumatic and you yearn for the kind/gentle/loving touch you received whilst diapered.