Top 3 Suggestions for a Newbie?

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Sorbus

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  1. Diaper Lover
So I've been doing a lot of reading on here- and I'm truly grateful that this community does provide A LOT of information. But I'm finding it a little overwhelming trying to sift through it all. I consider myself very blessed that I don't have any traumatic experience that has "induced" being a DL, it's just kin of snuck up on me. . .

So, as I come to terms with being a DL and not wanting to fight it any longer, I'm hoping that people would be willing to offer what they would consider their "Top 3" suggestions for a newbie (general or specific advice, whatever).

Got anything?
 
For me, when I first joined, I read a lot of the threads and posts before I had a lot to say. That way you quickly learn what is acceptable by the standards of the site, and what isn't.

I also discovered that sometimes intent, what you mean to say, may not be effectively conveyed in print and sentences. In public, we say so much with our facial expressions, laughing, etc., but in print, all that is lost. I always edit what I've written, not only to catch grammar and spelling, but to make sure I'm not sounding harsh, shouting, sarcastic, etc. Sarcasm is dangerous when written because one can't know the intent and it can be easily misinterpreted.

The other thing is not to insult another person's sensibilities. By that, I mean that we are a diaper site. We enjoy wearing and using diapers for their intended purpose, but some people may get grossed out by someone's articulate description of messing a diaper. There is a yuck factor. We also have members on this site who are genuinely incontinent. Some have little or no attraction to diapers. They simply have to wear them, so I always try to consider their feelings. I'm careful describing what I might do because I'm 69 years old, and no one really wants a mental image of that. It's different if you're 22, or young.

These are just three ideas. I'm sure others will have more and probably better. Anyway, good of you to ask.
 
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1. Accept you need to wear, figure out how often
2. Don't do something stupid (become dependent if you can't afford them, throw out all your diapers because you are having one of those periods where you want to purge)
3. Get over worrying about wearing around strangers, they don't care what you are wearing.
 
I wish I knew those three bullet points from rennecfox earlier. They're all really good.

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One the accepting part does this help you to not have self hate for wanting. To wear diaper when the non diaper.say it is wrong to wear diaper
 
makena43 said:
One the accepting part does this help you to not have self hate for wanting. To wear diaper when the non diaper.say it is wrong to wear diaper

If you accept yourself, you don't care what someone else thinks about you.
 
So 1 and 3 are the same
 
rennecfox said:
If you accept yourself, you don't care what someone else thinks about you.

SO True
 
Realize this is the way you are and that won't change. It's an innate part of your being which is why purge cycles are so destructive not only to our spirits, identity, and mental states. Fighting a harmless part of yourself because of fear of what the normal vanilla world thinks of us is pointless and will get you nowhere. To hell with what ignorant outsiders think of you.

Once again, this is harmless. Take care of yourself and your own business.
 
Okay. I will learn that
 
I'll look at this from a proactive viewpoint, rather than immediately useful information...

- find a good spot for your "stash" (diaper and related supplies storage)
this has been discussed numerous times here, you can search those threads for ideas
everyone's circumstances are different - a few don't care, most have some need to keep them out of sight
this becomes more important when you start ordering in larger quantity, like by the case, which is MUCH more economical

- buy samples. seriously. yes it sucks to order samples and find something you like but then have to wait a second
time to get a larger quantity and deal with receiving another package, but just do it. it sucks MORE to order a few
bags (or a case!) and find they don't fit because you ordered too small or too large. I'd strongly suggest sampling
by the BAG not the 1 or 2 piece samples that a lot of people get. 1 or 2 is usually not enough to judge whether they
are fitting and working well for you.

- plan to take care of your skin. skin generally does not like diapers, even clean ones. especially in the summer or
when working or otherwise active. be prepared to use powders and lotions to keep your skin healthy and feeling
comfortable. A lot of new diaper lovers find their new hobby sidelined a few days after they start due to a rash
or other skin problems.

- tempting though it may be, don't jump headlong into super thick diapers. Work your way up gradually, because
thick diapers bring up additional challenges. you'll do better taking on (and solving) just a few new challenges
at a time. be prepared to buy new pants/jeans to accommodate more bulk downstairs. Tall t-shirts are a big plus too

And probably my biggest piece of advice: Never forget this is a hobby and is for your enjoyment. If it's not going to be fun, don't feel obligated to do it. That'll just burn you out. Take a few days off and you'll find your interest is rekindled.
 
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- Being a DL is an integral part of who you are. It goes much deeper than a hobby or fetish, and is not something we can ignore.

- Learn to fully accept this part of yourself, and to not care what others may or may not think of your being diapered.

- Always wear good premium diapers you can trust will not leak on you (at least 99% of the time anyways).
 
makena43 said:
So 1 and 3 are the same

No, 1 deals with figuring out your personal needs concerning diapers as in how many you need on hand (am I wearing all the time or just some of the time?)

3 deals with getting over the stress of being around others when you have a diaper on.
 
Oh okay reinfox. I guess I am on. 3. Is there. A 4 and 5?
 
4. have a life besides diapers, find some things you can enjoy otherwise that give your life meaning,

5. Don't try to live like others, be your best
 
Will do and I think wearing. Diaper is not fetish its who you are. Sorts like a. Gay guy. You can"t quite
 
Some amazing advice from some experienced members, good work team ADISC.

Being new on any scene or hobby can be daunting. Add in the fact that there are social stigmas and subsequent mental issues and you have your work cut out to make a success of the whole thing. You have made the best start by joining this community because there are many helpful and supportive folk on these threads.

You have asked for members three top tips and I wanted to give mine to welcome you. My key piece of advice, and one touched on in other posts, is find the balance. You are indulging in your deepest fantasies and looking to satisfy some desires that could have been dormant for some time. The worst thing you could do is overload your mind by over indulging. Pace yourself and reflect on the thoughts and feelings as you continue discovering new parts. The last thing you want is to develop irrational obsession and lose the fun factor that you begun to explore. Only by working out and analysing what we feel can we begin to understand the reasons for having the urges. Time without diapers will allow you to look forward to the next time.

My next tip would be about expressing yourself. As others have already mentioned acceptance is a very important part of the lifestyle. Learning to not feel guilty or weird about expressing yourself is key and it comes from keeping your mental health in a good place. Deep breathes and realising you are not hurting anyone will create a basis for happiness. A bit controversial but it can help if someone you can confide in knows what is happening. I am not advocating shouting all from the rooftops but keeping it all bottled up without release can cause anxiety and self loathing if not kept in check. It is aways a personal journey but never underestimate peoples ability to comprehend and understand things when a close friend needs them to.

Finally, engaging with the community and picking up advice can extend our enjoyment and also gives us a safe space when we need it. You do not need to be alone or confused at anytime. Use the vast resources here and add your own experience so when someone new comes along they can benefit from what you have learned.

Enjoy yourself, keep healthy and make friends!
 
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makena43 said:
Will do and I think wearing. Diaper is not fetish
depends on the definition used, no diapers aren't always sexual if thats what you are trying to get at, some people here are very adamant that fetish means sex is involved, it doesn't, not looking to argue about that though, so yeah, diapers aren't necessarily sexual for diaper lovers, but they are a fixation.
 
Motherfath. Gthats the info I been looking for awhile. Please more advice love it. I think its not fetish. Just a way. Of living as if you are gay
 
Sorbus, I haven't followed your story or any of your other posts, so my advice may be a bit off. Apologies for that. Here is what rises to the surface in my mind:

1. If at all possible, Tell someone. We give a lot of advice on here to be really careful about letting the cat out of the bag, and I think this is good. What sometimes gets lost is the great therapeutic value of letting at least one TRUSTED person in on your secret. Secrets are very heavy, but if one person knows, the Wright is greatly lessened. In my case, that primary person is my spouse and she is very accepting and kind about it. It's an incredible gift. I recommend currying this kind of connection if at all possible.

2. Agreed. Find balance.

3. Related to the first. Avoid lying. It might be tempting to feign the "need" for diapers in a variety of situations (medical, friends, employment). I'd caution you to take the long view of these kinds of messages or paths. The consequences of broken trust st the hands of lying are real and painful. Tell the truth or keep it private on a need to know basis.

Best wishes. Adisc is a good community with practical advice and a no-nonsense ethos. They're ready to help those who are looking for it!


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