I became an adult baby because I was abused and continued to be abused by my father. My childhood was like a never ending military school. My dad could not deal with the fact that he had another girl(he wanted a boy so badly after my sister) and so that turned me into a target for whenever he got frustrated, and that still continues. He also did his best to raise me as a boy even though I was a girl and I gender myself as a girl. The punishments got harsher and harsher. My mom allowed me to play with toys a little but I was not allowed to play in front of him. When I was in his presence he demanded that I always be serious, cleaning, or doing some form of work. I couldn't call him dad a lot of the time, I had to call him sir and I was hardly allowed to speak to him at all without him biting my head off. He makes it loud and clear that I am his biggest disappointment. He doesn't know it, but I have cancer and I'm incontinent. But what he does know is that I have ataxia, epilepsy and generally don't feel well and can barely walk(the tumor is in my left leg) yet he makes me work long hours doing hard physical labor anyway. My sister didn't make it any easier by making up stories to get me in trouble and constantly brag that she was the favorite.
The point? I think I regressed because a part of me thought that perhaps there was one time and one place where my parents still loved me. I mean...they had to love me when I was a baby, right? And if not, I have a pretend papa who has no problem with taking care of me, along with my pretend family. I pretend my family consists of the characters from the show Once Upon a Time. I was the one who created the OUAT OC Elizabeth/Rumplestiltskin's daughter. She was the first AB character in the OUAT fandom and I play her on facebook RP and Roleplaylives.net. Rumple/Mr. Gold is the father I never had. Okay, yes, that sounds insane. But it's better than dealing with the harsh reality of death barreling towards me and dying alone within a house full of a family that hates me. Part of it is that I think I was born this way too. I intend to make this little world of mine a new neverland, where little girls don't have to grow up just because society wants them too. I was born this way and I am not ashamed. The only reason I haven't come out to my Real Life family yet is that I'm afraid of being beaten into a bloody pulp.
Being a baby and not growing up makes me feel secure. I can handle this. It makes me feel like I can be an adorable little girl and not be persecuted for it. I can wear pink and rainbows and not have my father screaming at me to take it off. Because you know what? I was born a girl, I am a girl, I am a baby girl, and even if that piece of you know what finds out about it he's not going to stop me. And when I finally escape his clutches I swear I'm gonna make myself a fairytale nursery that'll be the envy of every other baby.