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Thread: Transitioning.

  1. #1

    Default Transitioning.

    I just realize I'm getting a bit too old and should start transitioning before my male hormones destroy my body ahaha.

    Personally, I think it's almost time to "start" ie going to a gender therapist and what not, but at the same time, am a bit worried I might not "pass" lol.

    It's something I've been considering since I was 15, personally I'm finding distress with my male parts, and masculine aspects.

    Eh, them feelings.

  2. #2


    Quote Originally Posted by bunnyhabit View Post
    you will love having a pussy

    Sent from my SM-P555Y using Tapatalk
    Ahaha, what :P I'm not sure of the context lol.

  3. #3


    I'm glad you're starting. Just don't forget the goal is to transition until you feel comfortable with your body. Not what someone else considers "passing".

  4. #4


    I worry a lot about this myself. I started hair removal and decided to defer hormones until at least my face and chest were clear (I have a lot of hair >.<), because if I develop breasts before then it's... going to be awkward. And I REALLY need to work on my voice before I can present as a woman and not come across as a transvestite.

  5. #5


    You're never too old!

    I started transition (FTM) when I was 44. I asked my therapist if I was too late to start at my age, he said he had patients who didn't start until they were in their 60s.

    That said, for MTFs, it's definitely advantageous to begin early if you can, or at least start on androgen blockers. You're only 19; you'll pass better than you think.

  6. #6


    Wow. Hearing someone define 19 as "too old" is... well, it's at least a sign of the massive changes that our culture has undergone, isn't it?

    When I was 19, (well, to be perfectly accurate, when I was almost 18), I made the calculated determination that, as far as I believed then, I could never transition, as it was too expensive, too freakish, and too likely to destroy my mom. So what I had hidden all of my life had to remain hidden, and I had only the choices of life as a "male" or suicide. I chose to try to make do, moved 1000 miles away, and started over. I tried, and I even succeeded from outside perspectives, but within a decade I began falling apart, and after another decade I transitioned anyway.

    Today, though, you're saying 19 is "too old"? Goodness. I admit supreme jealousy of the kids I see living their true lives so young these days (though I would not have my own kids, nor likely my decades-long teaching career had I done so back then). But 19 is not at all too late to begin. Sure, you want to start as soon as you know you need to: that is always best. But don't start for the sake of starting. Start when you know it is totally right. And BTW "passing" is not a reason either to start or fail to start: first, you honestly do not know whether or not you will, and second, it doesn't matter: it's still your truth. For my part, I partly justified my waiting with the internalized belief that I'd make "an ugly woman." Turned out to be both irrelevant and wrong.

    Do what you need to do when you need to. And be happy that you are living in an era when 19 can seem "too old."

  7. #7


    I wish I could have transitioned ages ago, but I worry that I'll never be able to do so. Everything to do with it is too expensive, I don't truly have any IRL support, I worry that I'll never "pass" well enough (especially because I don't want to sound like a man in a dress... nothing wrong with crossdressers though, of course. How am I ever supposed to accept my voice?), and several other obstacles. I feel awkward IRL living as a male, but I worry that my body would never be "good enough" to make it not awkward and anxious to try to be a woman. Like a no-win situation. Sometimes It's kinda interesting that I don't want to kill myself at all. I like existing... I like being alive. I'm actually kind of afraid of death. Even if my life does suck in the long run... even if I really hate it sometimes.... there are things I don't hate about it, too.

    I'm so tired of complaining about it though! I don't have any solutions, no one's had advice substantial enough to help (though I thank those who have tried).... so it only gets me depressed. I'd rather just not dwell on it when I can help it. I guess escapism is my best friend.... it gives me a chance to be happy, sometimes.

    But... when I can't help but think about it... I worry that I will never really find long-term happiness with my life.
    Last edited by ShippoFox; 24-May-2017 at 06:43.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by ShippoFox View Post
    I don't want to sound like a man in a dress... How am I ever supposed to accept my voice?
    I am a natural baritone and I managed to train my voice into a normal female range. It took some experimentation, and a lot of practice, but it can be done.
    People often overemphasize pitch, but male and female vocal ranges have significant overlap. What is often overlooked is the tambre (or colour) of the voice. Masculinized vocal chords produce semitones which give them a fuller, more "manly" sound. It is possible to suppress this if you know which muscles to contract. Start by yawning, and notice how that opens your vocal chords. The voice becomes much smoother and softer. Now try contracting those same muscles without actually yawning.

    An other tip is to use your head voice. What I mean by this is to use your head as a resonating chamber, as opposed to your chest (too burly), throat (getting there), or nose (annoying).

    Prosody (the rhythm and intonation of speech) is also highly gendered. Men tend to be relatively monotone in prosody whereas women have more melodious vocal patterns with higher dynamic ranges. Listen to the way women speak in your area and try imitating their vocal patterns.

    Last but not least, if your voice hurts or you become horse, stop. You don't want to strain your voice as this can lead to permanent dammage. Just relax your vocal cords, drink some warm beverages, and when all returns to normal you can try again.

  9. #9


    That seems like some good advice, but when I hear transwomen talk, it seems like three out of five just tried a little, couldn't totally get it all right, and had the courage (for lack of a better word) to just say "okay, that's good enough!" (yet, the other two of five get an amazing voice) I can appreciate the self acceptance aspect there, but if my voice isn't perfect, it'd be a constant source of anxiety and disappointment. Plus... I have no clue how to change the sound of things like... hiccups and coughing... They just... sound how they sound.

  10. #10


    Things like this takes time. All you can really do is give it the time and effort you believe necessary. If you are happy with how you are, the average person doesn't question it as much. You first need to get yourself in a position to be happy, and that is where the hard work comes in.

    When it comes to coughing and the like, there isnt a whole lot you can do to change it. That being said, most people do not bat an eye at those sorts of details. In the end, it is up to you what you want, and where you want to go with what you have.

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