Last weekend

Here's an interesting experience....last weekend I was at my mothers house. I had taken a couple days off work and had driven up to to spend an extended weekend with her. My aunt (who is 74, my mom is 72 ) has a cabin near my moms house and was also there during the same time frame so I was able to spend time with her too. My mother knows of my diaper wearing and years ago when she discovered my habit she said "Honey the worlds a tough place and if wearing diapers helps you get through it who am I to question it" her only request was that I be discreet about it. On Friday night my Mom, my aunt and me were sitting outside around a campfire drinking a couple beers when my aunt gets up and goes into the house, about 5 mins later she leans out the door and ask if I could help her for a second, I got up and went in and she quietly says to me "do you have an extra diaper I could get from you? I thought I had a spare but I don't and don't feel like driving back over to my cabin the get one...when I drink beer I leak terribly and my diaper is about the burst" I said "sure" and went and got her one out my room. I literally could feel the redness of my face as I handed it to her....she said "oh sweetie don't be embarrassed your old aunt has had to wear diapers for a long time, my damn bladder leaks like a sieve"......

Haha. Aaaaaw. I love this! I only wish there was this level of openness and understanding with my fam. Not that id put the effort out there to get to that point. My folks had sortof hinted at their knowledge of my diaper wearage in my younger days. Nothing confrontational or terribly pointed but definitely comments with an implied wink wink. Theres no doubt that my folks know but its never ever EVER brought up. If i had a scenario like yours id count that as a weird but serious bonding moment with (insert fam member).

What kind of diaper did you hand your aunt?

I really wish I could tell my family. But it wouldn't go over well. I'd be a bloodbath, mostly my ears from all the screaming I'd get.
I'd so much like to be understood, but I don't think its possible.
I'm wearing again, and bigger more nosier diapers, so I could get caught easier. If I get caught, I get caught. "I like to wear diapers, too bad." I could add it helps my Aspergers too, which is the only possible sliver of being accepted.
Sick of living in a place that makes me miserable though.

I'm glad that you have someone that you can trust with this.

last week end I was helping my aunt fix her lawn mower and then she took me out for dinner, and on these trips she will some times drive me to a different rite aid store for diapers, I wish the rest of my family was more understanding, the only Flak I get from my aunt is to keep discreet and she keeps telling me to get a port installed so I leak into a bag instead, my normal response to that is I don't want any extra holes in my body, lol
But I think her reasoning for that is she worked at a hospital and just had experience with the horrible quality of hospital diapers. I think my little breaded dragon could soak a hospital diaper

MickeyM said:

I really wish I could tell my family. But it wouldn't go over well. I'd be a bloodbath, mostly my ears from all the screaming I'd get.I'd so much like to be understood, but I don't think its possible.I'm wearing again, and bigger more nosier diapers, so I could get caught easier. If I get caught, I get caught. "I like to wear diapers, too bad." I could add it helps my Aspergers too, which is the only possible sliver of being accepted.Sick of living in a place that makes me miserable though.I'm glad that you have someone that you can trust with this.

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Hello MickeyM What happened to you to make you what you are? Did an Angel come down from Heaven and show you how to be Divine?

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE!?

Why are you so adorable, and kind, and lovely?

MickeyM said:

I really wish I could tell my family. But it wouldn't go over well. I'd be a bloodbath, mostly my ears from all the screaming I'd get.
I'd so much like to be understood, but I don't think its possible.
I'm wearing again, and bigger more nosier diapers, so I could get caught easier. If I get caught, I get caught. "I like to wear diapers, too bad." I could add it helps my Aspergers too, which is the only possible sliver of being accepted.
Sick of living in a place that makes me miserable though.

I'm glad that you have someone that you can trust with this.

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When I originally told my family was at trip up in northern Michigan and staying a weekend, at first I was met with some confusion then after my stepdad nagged me over and over to see a urologist and I did go and see one, I forget the name or the procedure but he sent up a camera to see the inside of my bladder and test my capacity by filling it with fluid, I was so nervous they gave me meds for that and the doctor said I had a small bladder and prescribed medication that caused more problems then it was worth so my step dad just stated I was lazy and that honestly pissed me off, I ended up going to a different doctor that has experience with Autism and told me it was related to that and I was not her only patient with autism that wore diapers, don't know if my stepdad believed that but as long as I was discreet there was no longer a problem.
Parents for the most part just want you to be heathy. My mom knew that I wore off and on for a long time but had never told my step dad and she had passed away from cancer a few years before that vacation up north so my stepdad I think never knew until I told them, that said I only told them of the medical side of things, my mom knew otherwise but the rest of my family did not know

DracoAmericanus said:

the only Flak I get from my aunt is to keep discreet and she keeps telling me to get a port installed so I leak into a bag instead, my normal response to that is I don't want any extra holes in my body, lol

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I'm kinda surprised a medical professional would suggest a port... last I saw of those they required careful attention to prevent infection or irritation. A diaper seems like a much safer option.

bambinod said:

I'm kinda surprised a medical professional would suggest a port... last I saw of those they required careful attention to prevent infection or irritation. A diaper seems like a much safer option.

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They do. And they also become clogged quite often, and usally fail within 10-20 years too, usually with a sever risk of sepsis, which then requires an additional emergency surgery.

Of course diapers are safer, that doesn't stop some people from thinking diapers should be avoided at any cost, including risking death.

age makes it easier to be open about diapers. its kind of a bell curve

DracoAmericanus said:

last week end I was helping my aunt fix her lawn mower and then she took me out for dinner, and on these trips she will some times drive me to a different rite aid store for diapers, I wish the rest of my family was more understanding, the only Flak I get from my aunt is to keep discreet and she keeps telling me to get a port installed so I leak into a bag instead, my normal response to that is I don't want any extra holes in my body, lol
But I think her reasoning for that is she worked at a hospital and just had experience with the horrible quality of hospital diapers. I think my little breaded dragon could soak a hospital diaper

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I understand that as a result of cancer pressing up against my sacrum and bladder the surgeon may remove my bladder and give me a urostomy even though I would rather be in diapers for the rest of my life


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Wyatte said:

I understand that as a result of cancer pressing up against my sacrum and bladder the surgeon may remove my bladder and give me a urostomy even though I would rather be in diapers for the rest of my life


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Ouch, hopefully it won't have to come to that, just because of the other side effects of that ><

Wyatte said:

I understand that as a result of cancer pressing up against my sacrum and bladder the surgeon may remove my bladder and give me a urostomy even though I would rather be in diapers for the rest of my life

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All doctors are affected to some degree by their opinions on what sort of "fix" you are looking for. Some of them don't make much of an effort to get a patient's input when there are options, and they will only initially discuss options that they "prefer" as a way of avoiding doing one procedure when they'd rather do another. (similar to the argument of "diapers or catheter when you are in for surgery", nurses prefer catheters because they're more convenient for them, despite the increased risk of infection and complications) I see that in IT strangely enough, when I have a solution for a user that would make the user happier in the end AND is a better answer in my opinion, but I get friction from other staff that say "DON'T tell him we can do that, that'll be a PITA to support". They don't want the user to know they have this option because they don't like it. Sometimes people that are supposed to be acting with your best interest primarily in mind are NOT, even when they're not trying to be evil, its just human nature.

So make sure you discuss all the reasonable options with your doctor and get the treatment you think will be the best for you in the long term. Don't let them push you into the treatment they want over the treatment YOU want. If you have a good doctor, they will tell you "this is not what I would recommend, but..." and go into all the detail of the option without any bias, listing the tradeoffs and then of course explaining why they recommend the other option over that one. And in the end let you choose without an argument about it.

Wyatte said:

I understand that as a result of cancer pressing up against my sacrum and bladder the surgeon may remove my bladder and give me a urostomy even though I would rather be in diapers for the rest of my life


Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

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Your doctor can probably still remove 99% of your bladder and use what's left to reconnect the ureters from your kidneys to your urethra. This would be a much less invasive surgery, and would guarantee you'll need diapers for life. It's not all that much different than resectioning your colon, except they resection your bladder.

The only reason why urologist don't offer up this surgery is because it will guarantee your reliance on diapers. And as we all know, urologist seem to think they have failed if this is the end result. They, and most "normal" people, are willing to do anything to avoid diapers, so they assume you would want to as well.

True when I have preop for surgery and on the day of surgery I will make it clear that I want to wear diapers as opposed to a urostomy

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bambinod said:

All doctors are affected to some degree by their opinions on what sort of "fix" you are looking for. Some of them don't make much of an effort to get a patient's input when there are options, and they will only initially discuss options that they "prefer" as a way of avoiding doing one procedure when they'd rather do another. (similar to the argument of "diapers or catheter when you are in for surgery", nurses prefer catheters because they're more convenient for them, despite the increased risk of infection and complications) I see that in IT strangely enough, when I have a solution for a user that would make the user happier in the end AND is a better answer in my opinion, but I get friction from other staff that say "DON'T tell him we can do that, that'll be a PITA to support". They don't want the user to know they have this option because they don't like it. Sometimes people that are supposed to be acting with your best interest primarily in mind are NOT, even when they're not trying to be evil, its just human nature.

So make sure you discuss all the reasonable options with your doctor and get the treatment you think will be the best for you in the long term. Don't let them push you into the treatment they want over the treatment YOU want. If you have a good doctor, they will tell you "this is not what I would recommend, but..." and go into all the detail of the option without any bias, listing the tradeoffs and then of course explaining why they recommend the other option over that one. And in the end let you choose without an argument about it.

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Off topic, but having spent thirty years in IT, my experience is solutions that are a PITA to support often become a PITA for the user. I’m a fan of the KISS principle.

An XP Absorbency Plus level 4