Is this really a fetish?

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tiny said:
As a great philosopher once wrote, "It is what it is."
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PERFECT Answer!! Says it all.
 
Drifter;1450408 My advice: call it a gift. That may be pure BS but it makes it sound more acceptable and fun.[/QUOTE said:
Thank you

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Tommycombs said:
I'm thinking the real issue here is that some of us (myself included) just don't like the word, "fetish". Maybe it's because it's a creepy word, with creepy connotations.
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Ya, but it's not. It's also easier to come to accept it as a fetish because practically the entire world does see it as one. Trying to explain that wearing diapers isn't a fetish is just going to confuse the vast majority of people for several reason. 1. Most AB/DL, it is a fetish for according to the largest study ever done. Basically only about 7% of all AB/DL have absolutly no sexual interest in wearing diapers or in doing ageplay (Can't say it's conclusive, but it is the best statistic we have). So we would basically be trying to deny that it's a sexual fetish based on the very few it's not for. 2. Fetish can be used in a none sexual context anyway, so we might as well call it as such. 3. Removing the word fetish from AB/DL isn't going to make it be seen anymore acceptable all of a sudden.

For many of us, this is an intense desire that goes back to the earliest memories. Hence the reason we may not want to think of it as a purely kinky sex thing we're into. But I think that word carries that idea behind it and we may want to separate what we consider genuine personal feelings with the more public definition of the word.
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I hate to break it to you, but for the vast majority, it is a kinky sex thing people are into.

It's fine if you don't want to call it a fetish for yourself, but I don't think anyone is going to convince all of AB/DL that it's not a fetish when it is a fetish for most.
I think the appropriate thing here is to just call it whatever you want. Whatever makes you personally feel more comfortable. I will continue to call it a fetish though.
 
I agree with you, MarchinBunny. Like I said, I don't personally care for the word but I do fit the definition. I'm not going to use cognitive dissonance to distance myself from the definition. I use the word myself when trying to explain it to outsiders since, as you said, they view it as such. We don't really have a word that really encompasses all the feelings and emotions and other reasons we gravitate towards diapers. Just that "attraction". That's OK. If you over think this, which obviously I do, it becomes far more complicated. To me it's more of a lifestyle thing, and even that isn't the best way to describe it.

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Just out of curiosity, I typed "fetish" into thesaurus.com for other descriptive words if we want alternatives. I must admit, these pretty much are words we use all the time in these boards!

predilection, proclivity, desire, bias, craze, fixation, leaning, partiality, mania, penchant, prejudice, thing, preoccupation, propensity, stimulant


Yeah, I'd say each of those words describe me!
 
Tommycombs said:
I agree with you, MarchinBunny. Like I said, I don't personally care for the word but I do fit the definition. I'm not going to use cognitive dissonance to distance myself from the definition. I use the word myself when trying to explain it to outsiders since, as you said, they view it as such. We don't really have a word that really encompasses all the feelings and emotions and other reasons we gravitate towards diapers. Just that "attraction". That's OK. If you over think this, which obviously I do, it becomes far more complicated. To me it's more of a lifestyle thing, and even that isn't the best way to describe it.
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Yep, I agree with you as well. Even for me it's a lifestyle thing. The word fetish certainly doesn't describe it to a T, and I think that is what a lot of people dislike with the word. But there doesn't exist a better fitting word as far as I am aware XD.

Just out of curiosity, I typed "fetish" into thesaurus.com for other descriptive words if we want alternatives. I must admit, these pretty much are words we use all the time in these boards!

predilection, proclivity, desire, bias, craze, fixation, leaning, partiality, mania, penchant, prejudice, thing, preoccupation, propensity, stimulant


Yeah, I'd say each of those words describe me!
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Ya it's because the word fetish can be used in various ways. For example, typically someone who has a car or motorcycle fetish doesn't necessarily mean they get off on those things. It's just their interest in those things are far beyond what one might consider only a hobby as it's more like something they preoccupy themselves with to the point their life revolves around it quite significantly. A fixation.
 
MarchinBunny said:
Ya it's because the word fetish can be used in various ways. For example, typically someone who has a car or motorcycle fetish doesn't necessarily mean they get off on those things. It's just their interest in those things are far beyond what one might consider only a hobby as it's more like something they preoccupy themselves with to the point their life revolves around it quite significantly. A fixation.
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Very true. Then there's this. Part of my username is combs. Because ever since I could remember, I've had a comb or brush and would comb my hair and pet it. This is another subconscious soother. As a kid, I'd carry a comb like other kids carried their blankies. As I got older it became discouraged because it was "weird" and I tried to purge it by shaving my hair or otherwise keeping it too short to trigger the petting urge. But that is not sexual. In any way. I've never gotten off from hair petting and combing. I don't get a turn on when I walk past a hair salon. None of this soothing thing I do has anything to do with sex. But it is a fixation. So is the comb thing a fetish too? Man, why am I so complicated? ;)
 
Tommycombs said:
Very true. Then there's this. Part of my username is combs. Because ever since I could remember, I've had a comb or brush and would comb my hair and pet it. This is another subconscious soother. As a kid, I'd carry a comb like other kids carried their blankies. As I got older it became discouraged because it was "weird" and I tried to purge it by shaving my hair or otherwise keeping it too short to trigger the petting urge. But that is not sexual. In any way. I've never gotten off from hair petting and combing. I don't get a turn on when I walk past a hair salon. None of this soothing thing I do has anything to do with sex. But it is a fixation. So is the comb thing a fetish too? Man, why am I so complicated? ;)
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Fetish really is a bit of an odd word. I want to say yes, you could use it to describe your comb fixation and it would be a correct usage, but at the same time I think in this particular situation context is very important when using it in that manner other wise you could confuse some people lol.
 
I honestly have no problems with the word fetish and if you want to separate yourself from it, say non sexual fetish so everyone will know it's not sexual for you if it bothers you that much because of the stigma you see in the word.
 
Another thought had occurred to me. Now obviously I'm not claiming this reason for anybody but myself. My wife pointed out to my chagrin that I have a tendency to seek out different and alternative hobbies and interests. In a way, I feel a need to stand out as different. But when that very thing that makes me different becomes popular or mainstream, I tend to get aggravated and I toss it aside. She called me a hipster, which offended me but at the same time, I see her point. Now my point is that "fetish" could subconsciously be another word for mainstream since fetishes are all too common and not the underground secret I used to believe them to be. So I still desire to stand out. No! I'm not just a run of the mill guy with a kink! This is deeper! This is DIFFERENT!

I can sometimes catch myself in these pointless and often wrong mindsets. But I will say that since accepting my ABDL side, I've been challenging long standing demons and negative ideas I've carried for years. Thanks in big part to this site.
 
Some like feet, some like shoes, others enjoy panties or boobs , we chose diapers is any of it wrong not really unless you go super perv and become a cat burglar stealing panties or shoes, most people wouldn't notice a few diapers disappearing so I think thats why it's never been in the news ( I am sure its happened somewhere sometime ).

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MarchinBunny said:
Ya, but it's not. It's also easier to come to accept it as a fetish because practically the entire world does see it as one. Trying to explain that wearing diapers isn't a fetish is just going to confuse the vast majority of people for several reason. 1. Most AB/DL, it is a fetish for according to the largest study ever done. Basically only about 7% of all AB/DL have absolutly no sexual interest in wearing diapers or in doing ageplay (Can't say it's conclusive, but it is the best statistic we have). So we would basically be trying to deny that it's a sexual fetish based on the very few it's not for. 2. Fetish can be used in a none sexual context anyway, so we might as well call it as such. 3. Removing the word fetish from AB/DL isn't going to make it be seen anymore acceptable all of a sudden.


I hate to break it to you, but for the vast majority, it is a kinky sex thing people are into.

It's fine if you don't want to call it a fetish for yourself, but I don't think anyone is going to convince all of AB/DL that it's not a fetish when it is a fetish for most.
I think the appropriate thing here is to just call it whatever you want. Whatever makes you personally feel more comfortable. I will continue to call it a fetish though.
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You're getting "based on", and "includes" confused again.
 
Speaking as one of the 7% I am not comfortable with the fetish language being used to describe who I am. It might be easier to get my head around my state of being if it were that simple.

I go back to my original analogy and not wishing to in any way shape or form cause any offense but would you use the word fetish to describe a transvestite's motivations to dress up in clothes of the opposite sex? Possibly. Would you use the same language to describe a person who is transgender and who dresses in clothes of the opposite sex? I hope/suspect not. That may be how the 7% feel.

T3ddy
 
Full disclosure, I AM one of the 93% who finds a diaper can be sexually stimulating. That doesn't mean that's all there is to my being an abdl though. For me- this goes way beyond just sex so that means it also goes way beyond just a fetish too.
 
Tetra said:
Some like feet, some like shoes, others enjoy panties or boobs , we chose diapers is any of it wrong not really unless you go super perv and become a cat burglar stealing panties or shoes, most people wouldn't notice a few diapers disappearing so I think thats why it's never been in the news ( I am sure its happened somewhere sometime ).
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Completely agree these things can be lumped together, but I would emphasize that, except in some possible, rare cases, these things are not choices.
 
Drifter said:
Completely agree these things can be lumped together, but I would emphasize that, except in some possible, rare cases, these things are not choices.
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Agreed we like what we like , some say vanilla some say chocalate whatever our favotite is makes us the happiest. I solved the issue ( most people don't know how to make them these days ) but black and white shakes are the best of both worlds.

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Tetra said:
I solved the issue ( most people don't know how to make them these days ) but black and white shakes are the best of both worlds.
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Well someone else that knows what a black and white shake is! My dad and I used to order B&W shakes all the time. Now if you ask for one, they look at you with a weird expression.
 
Diapers can be pretty sexual for me but there are a lot of times when I'm wearing them and it's not sexual at all. I'd say though that ABDL is probably best described as a fetish more so than anything else.
 
MarcusP said:
I have loved diapers my entire life also. My earliest memories are around 3-4 years old when I found my old gerber pants and I used to wear them in bed. I distinctly remember getting rock hard then, even though puberty would not come for another decade. I would call that sexual arousal, yes I think even young kids can be aroused. Either that, or I'm abnormal.

fet·ish
ˈfediSH/
noun
1. A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
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This is how I was too. If I even thought about diapers or if I had to pee I would get rock hard. I used to think getting hard was my body's way of telling me I had to pee.

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You see, as I understand most fetishes in the public context, it is a subject of odd behaviors and mannerisms usually linked to partner-to-partner sexuality or the desire for it. I know, technically speaking, AB/DL is a fetish in the particulars of the term's technical usage, but any sexual feelings toward anyone in diapers for me have been slim to none. So, calling it a fetish when I'm in that mindset feels deeply strange. I don't know if it is this way for everyone else, but it doesn't really make sense to me to consider it as such when it has nothing to do with the original viewpoint presented for a sexual action. I'm not denying it is a fetish, but considering the desire here of maintaining a childlike state of mind, it makes sense to want a less adult-centric term to describe the action being performed.

After all, we turned paraphilic infantilism and diaper fetishism into AB/DL for this very reason. Therefore, I might avoid the term. Perhaps something like AB/DL subidentity would be better terminology in this case.

However, It's been said before not to consider labels as important, and I think that's fair to consider. Fetish is just a word. It won't change who you are, and it won't make you a monster to admit that you have some sexual desire to wear diapers. This may be also more to do with personal opinion; whether or not you treat it as sexual is up to you, seeing as it is your body and lifestyle. But it shouldn't be a make-or-break statement.
 
All depends on the individual really and why you choose to wear, if it's a choice.
 
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