Shaving only gets you so far. Sure, for a night it will look immaculate and amazing. I say so because I did so yesterday...Thennn the next day comes and the itchies start. Even though I shaved using the right technique, moisturized afterwards, and did everything I can to prevent irritation, it's inevitable. But doing it right will minimize the irritation. Taking your time and doing it right will result in a pretty good look and feel, at least for a day. If done right, the next few days shouldn't be so bad. When it really starts coming back (assuming you don't re-shave), it'll be prickly, but if done correctly, no ingrown hairs, irritation, or pimply things won't show up.
Just like regular shaving, starting out with very warm water, to open the pores, will help. While shaving, keeping the area lubricated with cream/gel and using tepid water will help reduce irritation from the blades. I would highly recommend Skintimates shaving cream and a very girly razor. Believe it or not, these products were designed be comfortable for that sensitive skin and to get to those hard-to-reach spots. Limbering up before shaving these areas would help a lot. It's gonna take a good 10-15 minutes or more depending on how long the hair is, so it would be wise to stretch a bit before-hand.
Afterwards, rinsing with less-than-room-temperature water (cool-ish...not cold, that's just uncomfortable) will help close the pores, reducing the introduction of bacteria to the area and, in the end, a reduction in irritation. A good moisturizer after you pat the area dry with a soft, fluffy towel will keep the skin supple, and less prone to in-grown hairs. Aloe is also good. A good slathering of the magic plant's essence will do you some good. And keeping the area moisturized will help a lot, so keep using lotion. Not too much to where it's gooey and slick, but enough that it's comfy. Nothing is fool-proof, and it may get itchy no matter what you do...
As you can tell, this whole process is about keeping the skin in a calm and non-irritated state. So take it slow, and be deliberate in the orientation of the razor's blades. I shaved in a hurry once, and even though I had the best intentions, I had terrible razor burns right where I typically sit on my bum. The week following was not so fun. So, basically, get in the zone. Feel those feminine emotions inside of you, and use that energy to keep calm and you'll know what should feel good and what doesn't.
Anyways, I hope I helped. Be careful and continue feeling as feminine as you can