Finally told my GF, so here is my experience

I have to thanks everyone that shared their experiences on this forum, this is something i felt really hard to do but reading here helped a lot.

We have 1 1/2 year together, and 1 year living together, with a wonderful and very close relationship, we plan to marry this december.

I always told myself that i wanted to tell her before marriage, but it was very hard to do, and knowing her was worse, she is very vanilla and sometimes is close minded but i knew i couldnt save this forever.

So a few days ago i joked telling her that we should try some light BDSM and she told me yes, we should do, we should go together to the sex shop to buy some toys and have some fun. So yesterday after some talking about that, told her by phone when i was on work, and we were remembering the amazing sex we had, that i have some fetish i would like to tell that night. Long story short, i had to tell her what it was because she wouldnt stop asking haha and when the word diaper came out the first thing that she sent was "are you joking?".

I dont recommend telling by phone, its easier but can cause some problems, i was lucky her reaction was neutral and nothing happened until i came back to home, them all the questions started, and it was a great relief to had all this forum info on hand. She asked the usual questions of do you pee/poop in they? ( only pee ) it has something to do with pedophilia? what causes you to use diapers? Its this normal or i have to worry? and tons of things like that. She was worried i had some psycological dissorder or i was crazy :wallbash:.
Well, after a long conversation, she took a neutral approach and told me that still loves me a lot and that she doesnt care if i like diapers, she might try someday in the future but for now she cant. She is a nurse, and told me that it seems creepy to her to use a diaper for fun when she does use they to patients that really need diapers.

I had to share it, as all the other posters that shared before and helped me :sweatdrop:, after that, we talked about the house and other things we are planning, and them we had amazing sex before going to sleep. Maybe one day she accepts to put her in diapers or for me to use they in front of her, but for now im glad i had put this massive stone out of my chest.
Now im giving her time, and see how this evolves.

Go very slow do not push.
Now just give her some postive reading .
You dont want her to read negtive stuff first you just want a fare out look.

I remember telling my wife about it about 1 and and a half years ago. We had been married for 11 years at that point. She took it fine at first. Said she didn't care as long as i wasn't hurting anybody. I was elated. But then the next day while I work, I get a text saying how disgusting I was and that I have issues and we need to talk. Long story short, she almost took the kids and left me. Things are better now and she knows I wear, but I have to do it in private and she never wants to see me in them or even know that i have been wearing. She never wants to see my stash or any dirty ones either. She wants to live like it doesn't exist. Any time we have talked about it, which hasn't been much, we get into an argument and it doesn't end well.

You did the right thing telling here before you got married. Glad it went pretty well too. Like foxkits said, take it slow for now too. You don't want to overload her with your diapers, or is it don't overload your diapers with her. I can never remember.

PaddedInPuyallup said:

I remember telling my wife about it about 1 and and a half years ago. We had been married for 11 years at that point. She took it fine at first. Said she didn't care as long as i wasn't hurting anybody. I was elated. But then the next day while I work, I get a text saying how disgusting I was and that I have issues and we need to talk. Long story short, she almost took the kids and left me. Things are better now and she knows I wear, but I have to do it in private and she never wants to see me in them or even know that i have been wearing. She never wants to see my stash or any dirty ones either. She wants to live like it doesn't exist. Any time we have talked about it, which hasn't been much, we get into an argument and it doesn't end well.

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Ouch. I had an almost identical situation. It didn't go as far as her packing the kids, but it was painful. It's been almost eight years, still nothing but general disgust from her. The good news is we are very happy together, otherwise.

Sound VERY familiar. My wife is a nurse as well, I told her about six months before we married, and she had the same reaction. I can't say she gets it (or even that I do) but she knows it is important to me.

Foxits is 100% right! Also discreetly do it. I always let my wife know if I'm going to wear and make sure she is good with it, but I do really try to be discreet. Especially the first couple of years (married 11 years now.)

Not to brag, but the peace and acceptance I feel from my wife is incredible. I no longer have guilty when wearing. Before we came to acceptance I went through countless binge and purge cycles. It does take time. Patience will be required.

Good luck!

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As other people have mentioned before in similar threads on this forum, this would be a good site to recommend to your partners/ significant others if they have questions, concerns, or struggling to cope with it.

I too think you did the right thing by telling, because wanting to wear diapers isn't going to go away for you. I told my wife many years after we were married and it went well. Our situation is different because she's a diabetic on dialysis and I'm her dialysis partner. We do home, nocturnal dialysis and I get her on her machine. I've also saved her life hundreds of times when she's gone low blood sugar. We they're for each other, I with her health, and she with my diapers. love and relationships should be about give and take and supporting one another.

Telling a potential partner, before committing to a marriage, is a must, as troublesome as it may be. The trust violations, in not telling, are hard to overcome, as some have mentioned. Even a vanilla can come to terms with this lifestyle, if given a proper introduction, and time to digest, AND, if there is true love. On the other hand, a kinkster can probably deal with it quicker, but how many truly kinky people exist, compared to vanilla's? It takes courage, but a lifetime of regret & misery are not worth it. At least you can move on if a partner is 100% opposed, and offers no hope. I'm approaching 30 years of marriage, 32 years of her "knowing", and it hasn't been a bed of roses, but I'm finally wearing "something" diaper-like every day & night of my life, except when I choose otherwise. It has become a non-issue for us, mostly.

Keep the communication open and I take it slow. If you move fast, wearing all the time and it becomes more important as part of being intimate, it will push her away if she is not into it. I made the mistake of trying to get her to wear or letting me wear as a precursor to sex. That pushed her away and became a major issue. Many years later, she still gets the feeling when she realizes I am wearing, that it is the diapers I prefer and not her. It is a hard for to see how both can work together. So I mostly wear in secret and never when we plan to be intimate.

Thanks for all the advice, its is helpful.
Im trying to slow it down, she seemed neutral towards negative at first, but we talked again and now she seems curious.
She is going out for a while tomorrow and already told me that I can put a diaper while she is out, and maybe keep it until she comes back. I don't know what I will do, but im glad she is taking it well and I don't like to wear very often so she doesn't seems worried about losing time with me and I will try to keep it that way, diapers are secondary.

How sad what happened to you Padded , I was really scared that it could be my case, but at least you still have her.

NMDL it's wonderful to know we feel accepted, and it's a heavy burden you get to lose after telling, I feel better now, and she knows everything of me, there are no morr secrets between us.

Yes Jamie, I felt it was the right desition, but is hard. Anyways, even with her being vanilla seems that things are going well, so for all those that feel vanillas couldn't come in terms with this, I hope these experiences gives they some hope .

I have already accepted the fact that when I get into a relationship I won't be able to keep my stash and will have stop wearing. Its just something I know. My heart goes out to the men. As a female DL I still get shamed by an evil ex-who I dated a few time.

Extremecomfy - all I have to ask is why? I've been in a few relationships, starting another soon and I explained it as the package deal, all my break ups were non fetish related, don't settle for less or your going to be unhappy because you can't be really you

extremecomfy said:

I have already accepted the fact that when I get into a relationship I won't be able to keep my stash and will have stop wearing. Its just something I know. My heart goes out to the men. As a female DL I still get shamed by an evil ex-who I dated a few time.

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You shouldn't expect to find someone that shares this interest, but you should have someone who accepts and loves you for you, even if they don't understand everything about you. Otherwise, what good is being in a relationship? They're out there I promise.

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