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Thread: Definitions and Understanding

  1. #1

    Default Definitions and Understanding

    So it seems I have offended some more members here, and I just wanted to clear a few things up for good (I hope).

    I am in no way attacking anyone here for any reason. If I have offended anyone, it is simply because they feel or believe something which has been categorically verified as false or a lie, and I have either corrected them on it or otherwise pointed out what is the actual truth.

    I do know my honest and straight forward approacy is often misconstrued and seen as having a mean tone to it. For this I do appologize, and want to assure everyone this is at least not my intent. I do not "read between the lines" very well, and will often not realise others pick up on what's just not there until after it's been pointed out to me.

    So with that said, my intent on posting clarifications to the whole Fetish/ABDL topics is not an attack against anyone personally. It is simply to clarify a very basic and simple understanding which so many here seem unable to grasp.

    Of course ABs and DLs can certainly include sexuality (to a varied range of degree). I've gone out of my way to make sure that part is clear- and have never said otherwise.

    What's getting confused here, is that all fetished are BASED purely on sex. Quite obviously ABs and DLs include sex, but are just simply not BASED on sex. Ergo it is not a fetish.

    This is a very simple and basic understanding that actually boils down on how to use a dictionary. This is the inclusive definition, it is the fact here set by others and society as a whole, and not just something I feel should be. The definition of fetish is always based on sex. The definitions of AB and DL is not based on sex.

    Let me be even more clear here. What I've been saying has absolutely nothing to do with how sexual anyone may find diapers to be- for what ever reason. I am not arguing how others feel, or trying to define what this is to anyone. And I personally find diapers can be quite arousing, that isn't the only reason why I wear them though- as is the same for the vast majority here.

    This is, and has always been, about using our words appropriately, AND to get people to realize that being AB or DL is just simply more inclusive and ingrained than SD (Sexual Diaper fetish), or some casual kink. And while I wholeheartedly agree that there's nothing wrong with SD as it is part of a healthy sexual drive, it quite plainly is not the same as AB or DL. Again, this is a verified fact just as the earth is round. It is not an argument in it's self so when I correct someone for saying the wrong thing, I'm not debating or arguing it in the least.

    If anyone can't get this simple and basic understanding then that's not my fault, and I have no reason to apologize or feel sorry for it. If you want to see me stop correcting a misunderstood lie, then quit being the ones who bring up the lie in the first place. I know there are people here who think it's annoying evertime I have to correct someone else. Well guess what, I hate having to repost the same thing over and over again. It's really, really, really, annoying for me too. I'd love nothing mpre thant to quit too. Really.

    So for the love of what ever god you believe in (or don't), pick up a dictionary and say what you mean the correct way. After all, a rose does not smell as sweet if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death.

  2. #2
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    So it seems I have offended some more members here, and I just wanted to clear a few things up for good (I hope).

    I am in no way attacking anyone here for any reason. If I have offended anyone, it is simply because they feel or believe something which has been categorically verified as false or a lie, and I have either corrected them on it or otherwise pointed out what is the actual truth.
    I think this is the issue people tend to have with you Slomo. You act like you proved others wrong when ... its' actually quite the opposite that occurs. You say it's been verified as false ... but you never actually seem to show proof of it being false. Rather all evidence and proof that is typically brought up show you are the one who is wrong.



    I do know my honest and straight forward approacy is often misconstrued and seen as having a mean tone to it. For this I do appologize, and want to assure everyone this is at least not my intent. I do not "read between the lines" very well, and will often not realise others pick up on what's just not there until after it's been pointed out to me.
    Actually, the problem is you never admit when you are wrong, even with all evidence stacked against you. Sort of like how you claim only the first definition in the dictionary is correct, when that simply isn't true. It's just the most commonly used. That doesn't make the others incorrect. I am sorry, but it just doesn't.



    So with that said, my intent on posting clarifications to the whole Fetish/ABDL topics is not an attack against anyone personally. It is simply to clarify a very basic and simple understanding which so many here seem unable to grasp.
    No ... uhhhh no. Actually, we grasp it just fine. AB/DL IS a fetish, it is seen as a fetish by the large majority of people in the world. The larger majority of the community it is sexual for them according to the largest poll taken. Even if it wasn't sexual one could still call it a non-sexual fetish. Many people use the word even in a non-sexual manner. Again, you are always going to be on the wrong side until you accept the facts that there are multiple definitions that are legitmate even today. Again, the first one isn't the only one that is correct. ALL of them are correct.



    Of course ABs and DLs can certainly include sexuality (to a varied range of degree). I've gone out of my way to make sure that part is clear- and have never said otherwise.
    You are being overly picky. If 80% of the community has at least some sexual gratification occuring from it, doesn't just change the fact it's a fetish. Just because you have someone in the foot fetish community say it's not sexual for them, doesn't mean it's no longer considered a fetish for the rest.



    What's getting confused here, is that all fetished are BASED purely on sex. Quite obviously ABs and DLs include sex, but are just simply not BASED on sex. Ergo it is not a fetish.
    Are all fetishes based purely on sex? Or is this you again only thinking the first definition is the only one that counts? Truthfully, I don't think we are ever going to come to an agreement with you until you start using a dictionary the way it was meant to be used. Once you accept that the other definitions are also correct is when you will finally realize ... calling it a fetish is not wrong.



    This is a very simple and basic understanding that actually boils down on how to use a dictionary. This is the inclusive definition, it is the fact here set by others and society as a whole, and not just something I feel should be. The definition of fetish is always based on sex. The definitions of AB and DL is not based on sex.
    I already shows you how to use a dictionary and even the link you sent me shows you where wrong. It speciifcially says the first definition is most commonely used. It does NOT say the other definitions are wrong. If the world uses a defintion 51% of the time, that is the most commonly used definition. But what about the other 49%? Those definitions are all of a sudden irrelvant? No .. Slomo, that isn't how a dictionary works.



    Let me be even more clear here. What I've been saying has absolutely nothing to do with how sexual anyone may find diapers to be- for what ever reason. I am not arguing how others feel, or trying to define what this is to anyone. And I personally find diapers can be quite arousing, that isn't the only reason why I wear them though- as is the same for the vast majority here.
    People who have a latex fetish may not only like latex in sexual situations ... what is your point?



    This is, and has always been, about using our words appropriately, AND to get people to realize that being AB or DL is just simply more inclusive and ingrained than SD (Sexual Diaper fetish), or some casual kink. And while I wholeheartedly agree that there's nothing wrong with SD as it is part of a healthy sexual drive, it quite plainly is not the same as AB or DL. Again, this is a verified fact just as the earth is round. It is not an argument in it's self so when I correct someone for saying the wrong thing, I'm not debating or arguing it in the least.
    You can't call it a verified fact. Words are based on people ... their meaning comes from people. If everyone disagrees with you on the word usage, including the vast majority of the internet as a whole where it's ever even talked about. YOU would be the one who is wrong.

    I actually have never even heard of SD used in this community till now, and as far as I am aware ... nearly everyone I know has considered AB/DL as a fetish and sexual in some way with a minority having it not be sexual at all. I have seen people seperate the sexual part from AB and place into the DL category. This is the way it has always been and the way people have used it, whether you like it or not. Instead of complaining, how about you start using words like how everyone else tends to use them?



    If anyone can't get this simple and basic understanding then that's not my fault, and I have no reason to apologize or feel sorry for it. If you want to see me stop correcting a misunderstood lie, then quit being the ones who bring up the lie in the first place. I know there are people here who think it's annoying evertime I have to correct someone else. Well guess what, I hate having to repost the same thing over and over again. It's really, really, really, annoying for me too. I'd love nothing mpre thant to quit too. Really.
    No .. the issue is you think you are right even when you a proved to be wrong. You are correcting people on something that doesn't need to be corrected. You not once ever proved you are right, all you do is keep saying you are. That is what makes it annoying. I have told you this time and time again. You are the one who is wrong and that is why everyone disagrees with you. That is why every site disagrees with you. That is why the dictionary disagrees with you. That is why directions on how to use the dictionary, disagrees with you. Everything disagrees with you on this matter. When will you decide or actually come to the realization ... "ohhhh, wait, maybe I am the one who is wrong."



    So for the love of what ever god you believe in (or don't), pick up a dictionary and say what you mean the correct way. After all, a rose does not smell as sweet if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death.
    Ya. . we already know how to use one Slomo. Thanks for your concern. I suggest you do the same though because you are the one who clearly doesn't know how and I can't tell you how many people have tried to correct yo on this and you just do not want to listen.

  3. #3

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    I totally get what you're saying, Slomo, and with forums, written text, even with emojis, meaning and tone can sometimes be misinterpreted. For me, you're absolutely right. It's not purely sexual. That is there but it's not the focus at all. As we all know, most of us that wear as ABDLs do so for the comfort, feelings of protection, and overall nurturing sensations we get. I also calm myself down by combing my hair (hence part of my username) and have done so all my life. I comb and pet my own hair. Usually I do it without even realizing it. I consider my ABDL side to be an extension of that combing habit. And obviously the comb thing is not sexual in any way, shape, or form. As you said, not a fetish.

    I've been trying to get people to understand this too. I tried to bring it up with my psychologist. That I had this side of me that I knew was playing a major role in my issues. I didn't elaborate as I didn't want to out myself to him, but he totally downplayed it as if I had an insignificant kink. A couple friends blew it off too. Outsiders sometimes just view us as weird perverts and that would be so much easier if that was all there was to it. But there is an emotional bond. An undeniable, persisting feeling that you need these and should be using them. I'm not really sure how to classify something like that but it's more complicated than simply being some turn on that I need to get my mojo running with the wife.

  4. #4
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tommycombs View Post
    As we all know, most of us that wear as ABDLs do so for the comfort, feelings of protection, and overall nurturing sensations we get.
    http://understanding.infantilism.org..._etc_part6.php
    33)Do you find diapers sexually stimulating?
    890 AB/DL said yes (61%)
    426 AB/DL said sometimes (29%)

    That is a whopping 90%! And if we include those who still do find it stimulating but rarely. That is 96%.
    I think the issue here is the minority thinks they are the majority.



    I've been trying to get people to understand this too. I tried to bring it up with my psychologist.
    It's fine if you don't want to consider it a fetish for yourself, but to try and claim it's not for everyone else is the problem.


    Edit:
    I might as well include 67% include sex in it at least moderately even during ageplay
    23% it's not when they are doing ageplay/regression.
    9% chose they do not do ageplay.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    So for the love of what ever god you believe in (or don't), pick up a dictionary and say what you mean the correct way.
    Why does it matter?



    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    After all, a rose does not smell as sweet if you call it putrid stink weed of instant death.
    I think Shakespeare covered that one. A rose smells just as sweet no matter what you call it.

  6. #6

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    I'm not disagreeing with anyone on this. I think my main point is that while there is a sexual side to it, it's not JUST a sex kink. For me. I see it as somewhat similar to a sexual preference. I'm heterosexual, for example, but that doesn't just mean I want sex. I get an emotional and intimate connection with my partner. My overall mood is fulfilled. It satisfies many needs.
    But call it what you want I suppose. We each view this through a slightly different lens with a slightly different take. I like reading posts like this because it shows me other points of view, whether I agree with them or not. And for me, addressing my own feelings beyond a purely sexual thrill is helping me to better understand myself and what drives me.

  7. #7
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tommycombs View Post
    I'm not disagreeing with anyone on this. I think my main point is that while there is a sexual side to it, it's not JUST a sex kink. For me. I see it as somewhat similar to a sexual preference. I'm heterosexual, for example, but that doesn't just mean I want sex. I get an emotional and intimate connection with my partner. My overall mood is fulfilled. It satisfies many needs.
    But call it what you want I suppose. We each view this through a slightly different lens with a slightly different take. I like reading posts like this because it shows me other points of view, whether I agree with them or not. And for me, addressing my own feelings beyond a purely sexual thrill is helping me to better understand myself and what drives me.
    Yes, but this thread isn't about how someone individually feels. Slomo is telling others they are wrong.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    Yes, but this thread isn't about how someone individually feels. Slomo is telling others they are wrong.
    I see your point. I'm really hoping to keep the peace in this board too. I like both of you and both of you have helped me sort things out for myself, to which I am grateful.

  9. #9
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tommycombs View Post
    I see your point. I'm really hoping to keep the peace in this board too. I like both of you and both of you have helped me sort things out for myself, to which I am grateful.
    No worries, honestly ... this is a quite common occurrence with Slomo and his definitions lol. This isn't the first time I have gone toe to toe with him on this exact issue XD.
    The issue isn't so much his own views, the issue is he constantly tries to force it onto others.

    I also still don't even understand why he thinks only the first definition in the dictionary is correct.
    I question what he must do when he finds 2 dictionaries giving two different first definitions. XD

    I mean if we where to really go by his way of doing things then that means the word attack means "Take aggressive action against (a place or enemy forces) with weapons or armed force, typically in a battle or war." and "Criticize or oppose fiercely and publicly." would not be accurate because it isn't the first definition. Yet he himself used it in this way in his OP.
    https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/us/attack



    So with that said, my intent on posting clarifications to the whole Fetish/ABDL topics is not an attack against anyone personally.
    Unless he does actually mean he is not trying to attack people with weapons or armed forces XD. Which I assume that is the case, but I doubt he meant it that way. But it is the first definition and according to him, it's the only definition that is correct.

    But as I said
    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/attack

    Different dictionaries tend to have different definitions or they are just worded a bit differently. But Merriam seems to be a bit vaguer than Oxford. I really don't know how he gets around this issue with such a rule as the first definition is the only correct one.

  10. #10

    Default

    I can probably come off defensive as well. I do suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder so sometimes my emotions just fly off the handle. I'm so afraid of rejection and making people mad at me that until I joined these forums, I basically lurked on the internet rather than engage with it for fear of arguments. I find the need for a personal definition important just for mental clarity. But I feel a bit defensive when it's implied that I only do this weird stuff for a sexual release. It feels like others are downplaying my intense feelings. I'm a lot more four dimensional about it.
    I do know one of my faults in thinking is that I see many things in black or white. I see things in extremes. I've had to have people point this out to me and point out how I overthink things and obsess over things others may find insignificant and it takes me longer to process feelings. Jeez, it's no wonder I feel the call of the soothing AB inside of me!

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