I wear confidry 24/7 every day to my quite office. Here's what I've learned.
1. NOBODY ever notices- ever. Seriously, and no matter how painfully obvious it seems to us too. We are way more self conscious to the crinkle and bulge than we give others credit to realise.
2. Wear a decent noise cancelling diaper cover. Something like the Gary activewear PUL pants (my favourite). They will greatly reduce noise because of the cloth out layer, which also helps any newcomer with their confidence. More importantly they will also help you realise any leaks before the become outwardly apparent.
3. A thin diaper that has leaked is WAY more noticeable than a thick one which had done its job. ALWAYS use a diaper you can trust to not leak- no matter how thick it needs to be.
4. Wear pleated front kackis or dress slacks- always black too. The pleating/folds will go a long way in breaking up the bulge hidden by your pants. The black will hide any leaks and wet spots.
5. Always wear at least one size too big. They won't be "baggy" per say, but will leave ample room for your diaper. (also always try on new pants with a wet/swollen diaper).
6. Always wear a belt too (though never too tight). Not only will it break up your waist line (further hiding your diaper bulge), but it will help keep those loose pants up too.
7. IF you are ever "outed", be darned honest! Just tell them you need them (a mental need is no less than a physical need), and you'd really rather not talk about it (which I'm sure most wouldn't). Just leave it at that and let your coworkers come to their own beliefs. 99% of the time it will be in your favor to leave it just as that. Even if being outed happens less than %0.0001 of the time.