I wear regular dockers khakis at work with an untucked polo shirt. My day time diaper is a Northshore supreme lite. I get about 3 hours per diaper under normal (for me) fluid intake so I typically have to change twice per day at work. I can tell my butt is padded in the mirror, but I know it's there. No one else can tell I don't think. No one buy my wife knows I wear diapers. There's a sandwich shop in the lobby of my building so I asked the manager if I could use their restroom every day without shopping there ant they were kind enough to agree. I only asked because after being seen in there a few times without buying anything an employee told me the restrooms were for paying customers only. I asked to speak to the manager and simply told him I have an emabarassing medical issue and I could greatly protect my dignity and privacy from my co workers if I could use their restroom and he said no problem.
If you need much bulkier diapers than what I use, it may be more difficult to be discreet, but honestly I think even fairly bulky diapers under normal pants are not as noticeable to other people as we think they are. We're obviously very self conscious and we already know what we're wearing so it feels obvious to us. My advice is to try not to over think it and try a few different diaper and pants combos to figure out what works best for you. It's definitely doable.
