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Thread: Advice regarding a friend

  1. #1

    Default Advice regarding a friend

    I met this friend online who is also an adult baby. They were telling me that they suffer from severe depression and lately being little is the only way to cope. I understand this. They said that their pacifier really soothes them just like a baby...again totally get it. But then they told me something concerning. They said that when they wet or mess themselves they are so depressed they find themselves getting agitated and fussy like a real infant in need of a diaper change and that they cry REAL tears until they are changed. Has regression gone too far or is it part of it?? Should I be worried? Thanks.

  2. #2


    I cry real tears when I'm regressed. When I first came here, I kid you not, I needed a replacement word for diaper, and not like, "diapie." I mean a full on different word. It physically hurt to say it, among other words, if they referred to me. Time helped a lot. Now, when I cry, I know 2?things. I'm really regressed, and there's pain that it's okay to feel. As long as he can come up from it, then, I'd say he's lucky to have that kind of emotional self-access. Does he have a caregiver? Is he walking through shame, and that's causing depression? It makes sense. It's the first thing we're taught to be ashamed of.

    That's a lot of what I cried about. Let's just say there was a reason those words hurt me so badly.

  3. #3


    Seems to be just a particular sort of regression to me. As someone who regresses both for happiness and to cope with depression, I can understand.

    It helps them feel better and helps them cope. Being able to vent those emotions in a sorta of.. uncomplicated and simple fashion, having a trouble and having someone be able to soothe and solve that problem is very gratifying and relieving. It can make you, and your worries, feel small.. and it can make you feel like someone is there to make things better.

    Obviously trusting this side of themselves with the right people is important, and it's important to be honest with them if you're no the case. I don't think it's gone "too far" though, unless they are voicing some discomfort about it to you.

  4. #4


    It might just be me but I've always seen a difference between 'being depressed' and the kind of catharsis of crying and feeling sad for a bit. You could maybe ask them to explain what they mean? Depression for me is numbness and 'what's the point', while the more 'positive' (lol) sadness/being upset is basically the complete opposite of feeling nothing.

    For me crying when I'm little is completely normal - every emotion feels heightened and just like a bio kid, I can get fussy or grouchy and shed tears over silly things. For me it's comforting because it's kind of 'playing' at having actual, real, grown-up issues and making them feel safer. Sometimes it can be easier to cry over 'I dropped my popsicle :c' or 'I peed myself :c' than adult issues that seem too big to fix with just a good cry - but I find a good cry helps with the adult issues anyway.

  5. #5


    Hi teddybearbaby85

    Yes I wold be concerned because depression is a killer.

    If they are using regression right it will help them work things out and crying could be a release from the emotions thet they are feeling.

    But if they are just using it to hide from them self and not face the emotions then they are looking for an out, which would be worrying.

    It sound to me they need to see a therapist. To talk about the feelings.

    Hope this is helpful to you.

    If you like I can PM you what I have written regarding helping a little through their emotions.


  6. #6


    I can cry really easily over stupid stuff. I also cry fairly frequently at bedtime, when I'm just feeling... small, lonely, insecure, and afraid to go to sleep. Despite having a pacifier and plenty of plushies on hand, I tend to feel very needy at night.

    Then there's the fact that sometimes having a bottle feels... just so good to me that I cry.

    I may not be in outright boo-hoo sobbing mode, but I'd say it's fairly common for me to be teary-eyed for one reason or another multiple times a day.

  7. #7


    Does the friend that is going thru this depression have a partner to help them or even change them? If they are using regression to help deal with pain that makes sense because your brain is trying to find some way to cope with the difficulties or emotions you need to experience. If this friend doesn't have anyone and they become so depressed that they can't change their diaper themselves then that could be a problem. A issue arises by drawing unwanted attention (depending on your living situation) that could make your vulnerability in the regressive state overwhelming and have negative associations with the event. It sounds like your friend needs a lot of love and support.

  8. #8


    I can't regres so far. Paci has in myself calming efect. But get crying because anything ? - I can't. I'm adult guy who likes diapers&pacis, but I'm not baby. I can't deal with too babish people.

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