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Thread: Building self confidence

  1. #1

    Default Building self confidence

    I've been meaning post this question sooner. How do you build self confidence? I'm run mostly by ego, but most people that know me in some deeper way, know my confidence shot. I'm tired of being this way and I was wondering if anyone knew of a way to build self confidence.

  2. #2


    I'm struggling with that too. I'm trying to rebuild my self esteem and confidence from the ground up. My emotions cloud my judgment and make me super afraid to do many ordinary things. Best suggestion I can give is what I'm doing. Making a list of uplifting reminders to yourself and repeating them in a loop in your mind for as long as it takes. When you feel those uneasy emotions that say the opposite, tell yourself those are junk emotions, like spam. Just delete it. The more you tell yourself things, the more you'll believe it. So make sure the things you tell yourself are encouraging, not negative.

  3. #3


    Join the military. That built my confidence really well.

    Seriously though, you just have to stop caring what everyone else thinks so much. The only way to do that is to confront it head on. Go out and do what someone else says you shouldn't (as long as it's legal that is), something you want to do. When you feel better for having done it, revel in your pride and know that is what's building your confidence levels.

  4. #4


    I am in agree with slomo. I have read somewhere you have to do it. and a lot It said no one can gave you the magical way. So I wore diapers with other people and I am still nervous. Nobody said a word. After dinner I was like yes I did it I didn't chicken out.

  5. #5


    socialization is a good confidance booster. also the ABDL scene as a whole is what i'd consider to be confidence boosting.

  6. #6


    you might try training your self confidence in small units. Start with stuff that scares you only a tiny bit of which you are sure you will be able to do it. If you have social anxiety maybe plan to ask a stranger for the time.
    Consider these situations as training units and be aware of them as much as possible. Monitor your feelings and how your body reacts. Do this on a regular basis increasing stress as it feels manageable.
    I'm a big fan of keeping a record in relation to these things. So maybe start a journal or something about your progress.
    The essence of all this is: You can train your self confidence.
    Another way to empower it is self suggestion. Take a small manual habit you do 5 to 10 times a day every day. Like locking your door or drinking a glass of water. now connect said habit with a powerful sentence like "I am a self confident person!" Don't think you're lying to yourself. Saying you have low self-esteem is basically the same thing.
    Do this and you will see small results pretty soon. Promised.

  7. #7


    I'm going through the process of accepting and embracing my participation in this community, so I recently joined ABDL communication channels to try to make acquaintances and possibly build some relationships as well. Knowing there are quite a few others helps.

    I've also been going to the gym everyday. If I get into better shape I think my confidence will increase greatly and it's a good way to work out frustrations too.

  8. #8


    First of all, I think it's important to be aware of your own insecurities and to recognize them when they are present. Focus on putting all the negative junk thoughts out of your mind, and remind yourself of the things you can do, the things you are good at. In short think positively about yourself.

    Focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish. Don't compare yourself to other people. Any of us can look around and see people who are better looking, have more money, or more confidence. We all have insecurities, some of us just hide it better than others. Stay focussed on yourself and your own goals. Each of us is unique and we all want different things in life.

    Be kind to yourself. Be realistic in your goals. You don't need to strive for perfection. Not everything in life has to be a monumental achievement. Just set small goals for yourself and build on them. When you set smaller, achievable goals, it boosts your confidence and gives you a foundation on which to build the bigger goals.

    Focus on the things you can change in your life. If you are miserable in your work or housing situation, seek out the alternatives. If depression is holding you back, then see your doctor. If you feel you are not ready or able to make changes, then look at ways you can change your perspective to see it in a more positive way.

    Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to try something that feels scary, like a job interview, or suggesting a new idea. Even the experience of trying to reach a goal and not achieving it can be a valuable learning experience which adds to your skills and knowledge. We don't always succeed in our first attempt at anything, but what is important is that we try and learn fromthe experience. And if you don't try, you'll never know what you may have missed

    Don't be afraid to ask for help. Even the highest ranking people in the country have trusted advisers, so if you need help with anything, such as employment interview skills, housing options, depression, remember there are professionals who may be able to assist you with strategies to succeed. If depression is a barrier, then a doctor can help with treatment and referrals.

    Start with the things you enjoy and things you are good at. It's easier to build confidence when you actually enjoy the activity and feel engaged in it. It's easier to stick with it and to maintain your motivation to see something through to completion. Whether it is a hobby, sport, knowledge of a topic, success or expertise in one area can lead to applying it to other areas as your confidence grows.

    Celebrate the small victories. Be proud of your accomplishments. If you've had to replace a person at work and kept things running smoothly in their absence, then be proud of it. If you had a good social interaction with someone that went well, then you should feel good about that. Even the little accomplishments build your self-esteem, so don't be afraid to seek out smaller challenges and see how well they reflect on enhancing your confidence.

    And last but not least, here's one that's done everything to help build my confidence and self-esteem:

    Exercise. I can't emphasize enough how this completely changed my life. When I was younger, I spent my years drinking, smoking, suffering from depression and working in a job I hated. A doctor encouraged me to start exercising for my health. I scoffed at first, but eventually gave it a try since nothing else was working. I started a running program and almost immediately started feeling healthier, stronger and better about myself. People laughed when I started running and they didn't think it would last more than a week, but two years later I ran my first marathon, twenty-six miles, and placed eightieth out of eight thousand competitors.

    It was my first goal that involved such hard work, but what I realized was how being motivated was the key to success, and setting the goals that were challenging but achievable. I was still stuck in work where I hated getting up in the morning, however I realized that if I could take the same principles I learned about running and apply them to other life goals, then perhaps I could get somewhere. Having gained confidence as a runner and learning about strategies, I eventually found the courage to quit a miserable, depressing job and go back to school for a more meaningful career, a decision I never regretted.

    Running has been my passion for thirty eight years now and it has continued to guide me through some difficult times.

    We all have to find our own answers in life and I don't push mine on anybody, but I think the key to confidence has to begin with accepting yourself for who you are and learning to love yourself.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 30-Apr-2017 at 03:14.

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