need help about getting change

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BabaC89

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hi I am trying to find a way to seek help with my diaper changing. I live alone so it is really hard to do it alone. especially when I have to do it while standing up. I live in a very small apartment complex and I have to share the bathroom and the kitchen with all the other tenants. so I don't use the bathroom unless I need to wash. but I cant find anyone or anybody or programs that will help me. I don't have any control over my bladder or rear end. I am on disability as well. so does anybody has any options or info, please let me know.

thanks,
BabaC89
 
You live by yourself, yet have a shared bathroom? Also if your independent enough to live alone why can't you change yourself? If you have a medical condition prohibiting this why hasn't a doctor verified this disability so you can receive medical assistance?
 
If you have a genuine medical need and your fisabiliyy is severe enough to make eligible for placement in a nursing home , most states have Medicaid waivers and centers for independent lining (CIL'S), getting in contact with them is the place to start, you will have several Medical and functional evaluations to determine how many hours of assistance you qualify for and will then if you are deemed in need, awarded a certain amount of hours to budget when and with what you need assistance, light house keeping , trips to doctors , grocery shopping, laundry, grooming and personal hygiene like bathing and diaper changing , to explore this contact your states Office of Long Term Living or your Medicaid case worker, for guidance, if you are not disabled to the point of meeting criteria for admission to SNF ( Skilled Nursing Facilty) you will probably be denied, if you are accepted based on your condition you will be awarded between one hour and about 40 hours per week ( the most I have ever seen was 63 hours a week, for a person who had no independent mobility what so ever) using those hours efficiently and effectively is pretty much up to you .

There are two models of care Agency model and Consumer model, with agency model the carer works for an agency, and is trained by an agency as to what they can and can jot do, and is also required to account for the time with you , as in they cleaned and dusted , you voided or had a BMW and was changed at what times, your meal was prepared and you ate a x time , they took you grocery shopping at such and such a store for x amount of time.

On consumer model you hire and train your own people to what you need done and they answer to you as there employer, if you have no experience leading people or supervising people, agency model will probably work better for you , because unfortunately alot of people who take these positions do so , because they envision sitting around and getting paid to play on there phones or talk to there friends , basic qualifications are CPR card , passing a background check a drug check and employment references, if the person can not pass a child or elder abuse check they can not be hired because previous abuse of a child or adult disqualifies them, a previous record of misdemeanor or felony chargers is at your discretion .I if you need more care hours than can be authorized they will admit you to a long term care facilities to have your needs met.

It costs about $28,000 a year to maintain you living independently in your own home with aides ( or attendant care , as it's official known) , a nursing facility $68,000, if I have missed anything or you still have questions feel free to contact me on the board or through PM and I will answer any questions.

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rennecfox said:
You live by yourself, yet have a shared bathroom? Also if your independent enough to live alone why can't you change yourself? If you have a medical condition prohibiting this why hasn't a doctor verified this disability so you can receive medical assistance?

I'm going to guess the OP lives in some type of sleeping room/boarding house arrangement? I mean, I would find it pretty hard to believe that there are still genuine apartments in the United States that don't have their own bathrooms...
 
Im willing to bet the OP is just looking to act out his fantasy. If this is so he needs to be upfront.
 
Well for an adult babysitter for a fetish from what I have heard it's $250 or more per hour depending on what you want , but that is very far removed from the realm of medical need due to a disability and is strictly " pay for play" , but if that's what you want and have money to burn, have at it!

The big difference is one is having fun with a fetish, the other would fall under fraud , that is punishable by up to ten years in prison and never again being eligible for service in the community any future medical need would require a nursing home, but very few doctors would risk there medical license and families well being saying you had a disability severe enough to qualify you if in fact you didn't.
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Tetra said:
Well for an adult babysitter for a fetish from what I have heard it's $250 or more per hour depending on what you want , but that is very far removed from the realm of medical need due to a disability and is strictly " pay for play" , but if that's what you want and have money to burn, have at it!

The big difference is one is having fun with a fetish, the other would fall under fraud , that is punishable by up to ten years in prison and never again being eligible for service in the community any future medical need would require a nursing home, but very few doctors would risk there medical license and families well being saying you had a disability severe enough to qualify you if in fact you didn't.
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That makes me wonder. How long, if ever, till we'll be able to go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis for being ab or dl. Since those aren't fetishes, and aren't any more curable than being gay, it could eventually be seen as diapers being mentally/medically necessary for our well being. At that point we'd be able to get them covered by insurance, possibly care too like the OP is wanting. If only.
 
Slomo said:
That makes me wonder. How long, if ever, till we'll be able to go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis for being ab or dl. Since those aren't fetishes, and aren't any more curable than being gay, it could eventually be seen as diapers being mentally/medically necessary for our well being. At that point we'd be able to get them covered by insurance, possibly care too like the OP is wanting. If only.

Interesting idea! I always figured it was just a fetish but that did not cover the huge spectrum that this covered. It's weird. Almost like a second emotional/ sex life independent of the adult sexual side we also have.
People who don't understand us may say we are mentally ill. Yeah, many of us are, so what? I've realized part of the whole dang REASON I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder stemmed in part from my fear and personal disgust I felt for this innocent side of me. Hiding a major part of my identity is more to blame for my problems since I've been so terrified about how the normal vanilla world would judge me. I thought I was an abomination when I was a teenager and told no one. That causes mental problems!
 
Actually there are psychiatric conditions that could currently have a modifier making diapers medical necessary because of ABDL, finding a doctor who was brave enough to use them is an entirely different story , so far we have gotten a lot of things delisted as major mental disorders ( they are in the process of removing Transgender, that blew my mind considering you could be committed against your will for adultery and homosexuality for many many years, there is a famous case of a woman who was completely ruined mentally because she spent like forty years in an asylum for adultery, she couldn't function or support herself when she was released , she ended up going back into the asylum and living there until her death in 1975 I believe it was, so the "rocket docket" removal of Transgender is very suprising).

Anyway there are ways to do it now ,but it would be precedent setting and probably touch off a firestorm of debate .

But to tell the truth I don't think psychiatry is very honest , it is the only branch of medicine that is not evidence based. In fact the list of what is a major mental disorder is decided by psychiatrists who go to a "conference" in some swank place and in between site seeing, getting laid , drinking to much, and eating too much lobster, they sit down for a couple of hours and read a list of things that they want to be a mental disorders and vote by a show of hands who is favour of it, if 200 psychiatrist show up for it and a simple majority raise there hands it becomes one , another list then gets read of things they claimed was a mental disorder but have since found out its not ( as long as a simple majority agrees) that's why there diagnosis blow like the wind , and change so often , basicsly any "new thing " is considered to be a major mental disorder that requires treatment until life proves them wrong and they vote it as normal. Combine that with the fact that most psychotropic medications work by mostly unknown ways ( they have very little hard actual knowledge of there effects on the body and brain, it's mostly SWAG (Scientific Wild Ass Guess) and hypothesis based on the few facts they do have.

So in my opinion a lot of diagnoses , are pure conjecture, yet people believe it , because they don't know better.
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Last edited:
Tommycombs said:
Interesting idea! I always figured it was just a fetish but that did not cover the huge spectrum that this covered. It's weird. Almost like a second emotional/ sex life independent of the adult sexual side we also have.
People who don't understand us may say we are mentally ill. Yeah, many of us are, so what? I've realized part of the whole dang REASON I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder stemmed in part from my fear and personal disgust I felt for this innocent side of me. Hiding a major part of my identity is more to blame for my problems since I've been so terrified about how the normal vanilla world would judge me. I thought I was an abomination when I was a teenager and told no one. That causes mental problems!

Exactly, for a vast majority of us, our inexplicable compulsion for diapers is simply not -based- on sexuality at all (though it most often does include a componet of it). This alone means it isn't a fetish or kink we might like to engage in, but is more a part of who we are.

Getting the medical community (let alone our own community) to understand this would mean a huge leap for us. Most psychiatrists seem to be slowly coming around to this understanding, but still have yet to realize how integral and important diapers really are for us.
 
Slomo said:
Exactly, for a vast majority of us, our inexplicable compulsion for diapers is simply not -based- on sexuality at all (though it most often does include a componet of it). This alone means it isn't a fetish or kink we might like to engage in, but is more a part of who we are.

Getting the medical community (let alone our own community) to understand this would mean a huge leap for us. Most psychiatrists seem to be slowly coming around to this understanding, but still have yet to realize how integral and important diapers really are for us.
Oh boy, preaching to the choir! I've been through countless years off and on with psychiatrists and psychologists. I've never found one that actually understood what I was saying. I told one, I fessed up, that I had a "fetish" that was really a huge part of my life but I couldn't tell anyone about it. Right there, I was about to come out. Come clean and get some real professional help for these feelings. Instead he brushed it off, like it wasn't an issue. He might have thought by "fetish" I had a normal kink like apparently everybody does. I was trying to explain how much more it entailed, it wasn't just some weird sex thing. It's because I grew up before the internet and thought I was the only one. I saw that classic Jerry Springer episode in the 90s and realized I wasn't the only one, but that example only made me even more creeped out by it.
 
Slomo said:
How long, if ever, till we'll be able to go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis for being ab or dl.

You already can, if you don't mind it being considered a paraphilic disorder. I have been officially diagnosed by a psychologist as having ''other specified paraphilic disorder (infantilism)''. I don't really agree with that because being AB is not sexual for me, but it is what it is. A diaper fetishist could be diagnosed with fetishistic disorder.

I know we don't agree about the use of the term fetish and the sexual nature of ab/dl, so I'm not going down that road, but currently in the world of mental health there's really no recognition of the fact that adult babies and diaper lovers are not always sexually motivated.
 
KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
You already can, if you don't mind it being considered a paraphilic disorder. I have been officially diagnosed by a psychologist as having ''other specified paraphilic disorder (infantilism)''. I don't really agree with that because being AB is not sexual for me, but it is what it is. A diaper fetishist could be diagnosed with fetishistic disorder.

I know we don't agree about the use of the term fetish and the sexual nature of ab/dl, so I'm not going down that road, but currently in the world of mental health there's really no recognition of the fact that adult babies and diaper lovers are not always sexually motivated.
Was this diagnosis really recently because the diagnostic criteria just recently changed ,basicsly reaching the "disorder" level has become harder, there is now different criteria for paraphilec infantilism is basicsly the same, but rising to the level of "disorder" means it's harming your life in some way, they diagnose it quite often and felt they needed to add modifiers to the criteria to differentiate when it's "just part of who you are" versus it's compulsive and screwing up your life .

That is one of the big changes is the new DSM,because if they don't code it right , it gets refused by insurance so they don't get paid .
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Tetra said:
Was this diagnosis really recently because the diagnostic criteria just recently changed ,basicsly reaching the "disorder" level has become harder, there is now different criteria for paraphilec infantilism is basicsly the same, but rising to the level of "disorder" means it's harming your life in some way, they diagnose it quite often and felt they needed to add modifiers to the criteria to differentiate when it's "just part of who you are" versus it's compulsive and screwing up your life .

That is one of the big changes is the new DSM,because if they don't code it right , it gets refused by insurance so they don't get paid .
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Yes. In January. I did read they established a difference between a ''paraphilia'' and a ''paraphilic disorder'' in the DSM 5. My psychologist's reasoning behind giving me the ''disorder'' is not quite clear to me as we did not discuss it. I wrote it down on the paperwork, but he never mentioned it; it wasn't until I received the full report in the mail about a month later that I was made aware of his diagnosis.
 
KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
You already can, if you don't mind it being considered a paraphilic disorder. I have been officially diagnosed by a psychologist as having ''other specified paraphilic disorder (infantilism)''. I don't really agree with that because being AB is not sexual for me, but it is what it is. A diaper fetishist could be diagnosed with fetishistic disorder.

I know we don't agree about the use of the term fetish and the sexual nature of ab/dl, so I'm not going down that road, but currently in the world of mental health there's really no recognition of the fact that adult babies and diaper lovers are not always sexually motivated.

Exactly. And to think paraphilic is an "upgrade" from what we used to be called. It is still obviously not a proper classification though, as you pointed out.

I do believe with this in mind, we have a bit farther to go before we're understood, as well as understanding the properly needed "medication" for it.
 
The medication. ha, ha. Yes. I always considered my diaps the medication! :)
 
Yeah they fall in the sedative hypnotic anti anxiety family of medication , just don't tell big pharma , the price of a bag will go up 5000% .

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Tetra said:
Yeah they fall in the sedative hypnotic anti anxiety family of medication , just don't tell big pharma , the price of a bag will go up 5000% .

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Isn't that the TRUTH?? Very sedative. It really does feel like a powerful anti-anxiety med, doesn't it? Must be why that works so well when the SSRI meds don't work at all for me. My brain knows how to chill itself out. It just wants something unconventional to do it.
 
u r correct.

KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
I'm going to guess the OP lives in some type of sleeping room/boarding house arrangement? I mean, I would find it pretty hard to believe that there are still genuine apartments in the United States that don't have their own bathrooms...

yes, I live in in a low income/boarding home. I have my own bedroom, just that everything else is shared.
 
BabaC89 said:
yes, I live in in a low income/boarding home. I have my own bedroom, just that everything else is shared.
More power to you I would go nuts if I had to share a kitchen and bathroom, I live in subsidized housing , there is very little accesible affordable housing then subsidized .but I lucked out and got a really nice place with my own yard for my dog out the front and a big park like Greenspace out the back that I share , occasionally there's a couple kids running around in diapers , one size up from ankle biters . I have my own furnace, air conditioning , hot water heater and tank , laundry room a giant bedroom, kitchen , dining room and bath with a roll in shower and my rent is super cheap $236 a month, of course with this crazy ass president that could change and not for the good .

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