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Thread: I get possessed... Literally! ADVICE? HELP?

  1. #1

    Default I get possessed... Literally! ADVICE? HELP?

    Ok, so 4 years ago, I had a psychological break, and I lost control of my body. Pretty much every body part began to twitch, tremor, shake, and these involuntary symptoms made me contort and convulse in the most weird and frightening ways.

    I was taken to the ER, and I was given morphine to calm me down. I gained most of my movement back, but I would have episodes where my left upper back muscles, neck, head, and face would begin to spasm, causing my head to jerk forwards and cock to the right.

    The left side of my face would grimace, and my shoulder blades would pull together towards my spine. This has happened off and on up till present day. But I have been taken to the doctor and examined from top to bottom. NOTHING WRONG! Brain? Fine. Blood work? Fine...

    Well they did find high iron, and I figured out I had a hereditary disease called hemochromatosis, so at least I found something wrong. But, as for the seizure like symptoms, they said it was all in my head, and they couldn't prescribe me something if it was psychosomatic in origin.

    So, I have had nothing that I could do to stop these pseudo-seizures, what doctors call "conversion disorder." And over the years it has gotten worse and worse to where it effects my ability to work, and I developed into leg weakness, disorientation (vertigo), full body shakes and the symptoms would convert into intense outbursts of emotions like sobbing uncontrollably.

    Well I said screw conventional medicine. If this is a problem that is in my mind, I'm going to venture into it to heal myself. I had read countless articles online about the benefits of Ayahuasca, like its positive effects of people with PTSD, depression, anxiety, ect.

    For those of you who don't know what Ayahuasca is. It basically is mixture of 2 plants from South America, the vine Banisteriopsis Caapi (an MAOI), and Psychotria Viridis leaves (DMT), traditionally brewed into a tea, and used by shamans to induce intense psychedelic experiences.

    I found a place in Kentucky that gave ceremonies and called them and set up the date. I showed up January 9th 2017, after driving up from TN. I spent 3 nights there, and the man gave me the brew. long story short, It started out fine. I saw stunning, and some frightening visuals, and I even regressed back into a full blown baby (lost complete control of both my bladder and bowels... No diaper unfortunately), but I was to lost in the mother spirit of the plant I didn't care.

    But the second night is when all Hell broke loose. I saw spiders materializing and crawling from my fingers, and I heard snakes hissing and rattling surrounding me. It was nothing but paranoia. I jumped at ever sound I heard and dark entities would take over my mind and cause me to bite myself, hit my head on the ground.

    I became increasing like violent with the people giving me the tea. I remember vividly I almost punched the man who was suppose to be my presiding shaman. They ended up having to handcuff me to a cot to protect themselves, and me from doing any harm to myself. I eventually calmed down, and they un-handcuffed me.

    I went to bed after the visions somewhat left me. However, even though I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I fell into a half wake trance like state, and felt evil presences around me. I didn't know my mind had caused me to become delusional. I was still hearing the plant mothers voice, telling me I was in danger, and that I had to use magick to protect myself from a demon.

    Anyways, in fear of this post getting to long I'll shorten the exposition and get to the chase. This trance like delusional state persisted for a while. It was into the next day and night (Ayahuasca only lasts for 8 hours). So the trance caused me to yet again become violent and I again had to be handcuffed. My mom was called and she ended up having to come get me.

    The delusions were still strong into the day and during the ride home to the point where I thought I had to use magick to control the cars on the road or they would crash into us. I got home and I saw my dad, the presenses told me to kill him. I ended up being taken to the ER after becoming yet again violent towards myself and my dad.

    I was given anti-psychotics, and strapped down arms and legs to a hospital bed. I ended up having a NDE, and thought I was going to die from not being able to breathe at one point. Anyways, after I was stabilized, I was upgraded to a bed within the hospital and stayed there for 9 days until I was released.

    It was around the 3rd day that sobriety completely came back to me, and I no longer felt presences or the urge to hurt myself or others. I stayed an extra six days because I couldn't get something called a tele-psych from the doctor, which is basically the doctor evaluating whether or not I was still a threat to myself and others.

    So, all that to say, now I don't get just seizures anymore. Its A LOT WORSE! My symptoms now mirror something I can only describe as possession. It starts with my neck tensing up, and I feel like electricity shoots through my head and body, I feel my left brain region become flimflammed in pain, then the electricity shoots down my arms and legs, and my body starts to move on its own.

    I'll speak in some sort of weird tongue, laugh hysterically, or scream. I have somewhat control over the experience when it happens, like if I start biting myself I can stop it. I even feel as if something else looks out of my eyes. There have been occasions when my mother is in my presence when I have the episode, one time I almost hit her with a metal bar from my weight lifting set, but had enough control to stop and put it down before something bad happened.

    Another piece of evidence that this is a possession, is I become angered and somewhat potentially violent when the concept of God is evoked. I literally tried this exorcism approach, but I don't think I have faith enough in the God concept to make much of a difference (I'm an agnostic [somewhat atheist]).

    I mean, it laughed at me and told me I really didn't believe it, but after continuing the exorcism it became angered, caused my body to wretch, and I puked repeatedly on my floor. I couldn't feel much of its presence after that event, but it seems to come back after a little bit.

    I know this is really crazy sounding but I don't know what to do at this point. Does anyone have any ideas, methods, tools, whatever to help me? I think I opened a portal with that Ayahuasca and something malevolent now has a growing amount of control over me. I'm not saying Ayahuasca was a bad thing, but I am saying I took no "spiritual" precautions before imbibing it.

    I'm trying to grow my faith, but I've been hurt by religion in the past and was a self righteous prick (cough refer to my older posts as Kaetorian), and believing in something without evidence is hard for me now logically. I'm trying to meditate, tune chakras, but I'm not consistent with any of it to have a effect me subconsciously. I'm becoming more depressed, but I know I can get through this. Please if any of you have experience with something like this or have suggestions I'd be happy to hear them!
    Last edited by Mercurius; 16-Apr-2017 at 08:07.

  2. #2

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    The problem I see is that when doctors first told you you were suffering from something psychological, instead of seeking out a psychologist or psychiatrist you went and took a hallucinogenic drug. That probably didn't make a demon possess you, it just made whatever mental illness you're suffering from worse. Seeing that you almost hurt your mother, you are clearly still a danger to others. I think you need to locate a dedicated psychiatric hospital - don't say there's none around either, because if you travelled for the drug you can travel for proper medical care - and admit yourself, before you do something that gets yourself landed there involuntarily... or worse. If you go into a fit and hurt other people, when the police show up and you don't cooperate, they're not going to listen to ''Don't hurt him, he's possessed!'' They're going to shoot you.

    Before trying anything else unconventional and unproven, try everything in the realm of modern mental health. Now, being an agnostic myself, I don't 100% believe in demons, possessions and all that. BUT if all else falls, try to find a member of the clergy that does exorcisms. Your best bet might be the Catholic Church because I'm not sure how many other denominations believe in them. Once again, I'm not 100% convinced that demon possessions are real, but maybe exorcisms ''work'' like a placebo - you think you got treatment and thus you get better.

    Members of ADISC are not qualified to give medical advice, and I think most other responses you get are going to say something along the lines of my own.

  3. #3

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    I've had hallucinations etc in the past, I'm sorry to say, that possession and hallucinations occur inside the brain, not outside, your brain is playing tricks on you.

    With mental illnesses you shouldn't be messing around with drugs like LSD, or DMT (not too sure about marijuana but I guess that could make it worse) , with some mental illnesses it's fine, but with the more serious mental illnesses it can cause worse things to occur, ie psychosis.

    Chemical imbalances can trigger delusions, psychosis, hallucinations etc so can drugs, It's just how the brain works, also when it comes to advice from doctors, listen to them as much as I hate to say it, but they exist for your benefit, don't like the advice the doctor is giving you, change doctors, just like if a medication doesn't work, you change medication etc.

    That being said, I'm no doctor, but the brain plays tricks on you, and people love to say "oh but it's religion, or god came down to talk to me" nope your brain is malfunctioning, trust me you'll be surprised how much your brain can play tricks on you, drugs being a good example.

    That being said, I'm not getting into the 'water' with religion, as hallucinations have nothing to do with religion, but people who hallucinate often think it's a sign from god, or demons possessed me, when in reality it's something going on in the brain that needs to be checked out as many things can cause it, (some cancers even)

    I'll give you an example, I Have depression and anxiety, my brain sees things a lot worse than they seem to be, something as simple as failure can trigger me to have suicidal thoughts.


    (disclaimer, I'm a strong atheist, only thing keeping me alive I guess.)

  4. #4

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    I expect most doctors / psychiatrists would diagnose you with a form of psychosis, potentially schizophrenia (you're at about the right age for that to hit, incidentally). Being of a scientific mindset myself, that is what I would conclude as well. However, my advice is actually the same regardless of whether this is "really" psychosis or possession. I suggest you proceed under the assumption that this is a psychotic break, and see a psychiatrist. Because if in fact this is a psychotic break (perhaps triggered by use of a hallucinogen but likely also due to a latent issue, based on everything you've shared), proper psychiatric care is essential to getting on the road to recovery. On the other hand, if it is a possession, I'm gathering that this particular demon is a bit like Tinkerbell (from the stage play of Peter Pan) and needs you to believe more in it than in God in order to have any power over you... so therefore... stubbornly assuming it is nothing more than psychosis and proceeding as such would really ruin its day, yes?

  5. #5
    MarchinBunny

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    I certainly don't want to sound harsh, but I hope this is a lesson for anyone whoever reads it. Only seek medical help from medical professionals and never take matters into your own hands when you really have no idea what you are doing. Double especially for serious matters like this. There are many medical horror stories about people doing things like this, and just making things worse or ending up dead.

    Anyway, I highly doubt you are being possessed. I agree with everyone here especially with Kimba. We cannot give any sort of medical advice.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaWolfNagihiko View Post
    The problem I see is that when doctors first told you you were suffering from something psychological, instead of seeking out a psychologist or psychiatrist you went and took a hallucinogenic drug. That probably didn't make a demon possess you, it just made whatever mental illness you're suffering from worse.
    I can see your point. I really didn't think it would do this much to be honest.



    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaWolfNagihiko View Post
    Seeing that you almost hurt your mother, you are clearly still a danger to others. I think you need to locate a dedicated psychiatric hospital - don't say there's none around either, because if you travelled for the drug you can travel for proper medical care - and admit yourself, before you do something that gets yourself landed there involuntarily... or worse. If you go into a fit and hurt other people, when the police show up and you don't cooperate, they're not going to listen to ''Don't hurt him, he's possessed!'' They're going to shoot you.
    I actually enrolled in a IOP program at a mental health campus, namely because the tea caused many memories to resurface and it caused my depression to get a lot worse. So, for about a month i've been going to it and particularly benefiting from the group therapy portion. However my insurance has ran out so I've been discharged. But, they have put me on a very low dose of anti-psychotic, but I still have these episodes. (Not all of them are violent) like 1 out of 10 become violent to others. maybe 4 out of 10 cause me to attempt harm to myself. I only had that one incident with my mother, because she was yelling "in the name of Jesus leave my son!", and then she pushed her hands down on me (I was on the ground writhing), which freaked me out, and without much thought, whatever taking over me decided to grab something to threaten her with it.



    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaWolfNagihiko View Post
    Before trying anything else unconventional and unproven, try everything in the realm of modern mental health. Now, being an agnostic myself, I don't 100% believe in demons, possessions and all that. BUT if all else falls, try to find a member of the clergy that does exorcisms. Your best bet might be the Catholic Church because I'm not sure how many other denominations believe in them. Once again, I'm not 100% convinced that demon possessions are real, but maybe exorcisms ''work'' like a placebo - you think you got treatment and thus you get better.
    Ha, that's what my dad wants me to do. But like you, I don't believe in there god, so I don't know if it would have much of a "placebo" effect.



    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaWolfNagihiko View Post
    Members of ADISC are not qualified to give medical advice, and I think most other responses you get are going to say something along the lines of my own.
    I understand, I'm just frustrated and really needed to vent. I apologies if I broke any site rules.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    I've had hallucinations etc in the past, I'm sorry to say, that possession and hallucinations occur inside the brain, not outside, your brain is playing tricks on you.
    I get that, I'm not sold on the whole "spiritual realm", again I'm an agnostic atheist, so I'm not crazy in the sense that I believe in spirits/God/gods/angels/demons ect outside of me, but I do believe the subconscious hold autonomous thought forms that can act apart from the conscious mind, albeit most of the time these entities don't interact or try to subvert and supplant the predominant personality.



    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    With mental illnesses you shouldn't be messing around with drugs like LSD, or DMT (not too sure about marijuana but I guess that could make it worse) , with some mental illnesses it's fine, but with the more serious mental illnesses it can cause worse things to occur, ie psychosis.
    Again like I stated to Kimba, I had no idea that this would happen from taking this stuff. I thought I was going to go on a journey through my mind, breakthrough into hyperspace, see my problems in a new and transcendent light, merge with the part of my brain that is connected to perceptually everything, feel at peace with myself, then come back to hopefully find my disorder either gone, depression gone, and see life in with a wholly new perspective. That obviously didn't happen. And you'd be correct, marijuana doesn't help, it causes me to uncontrollably move my body as well, but I don't feel the malevolent entities while high, I feel regressed and loving presences around me.



    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    Chemical imbalances can trigger delusions, psychosis, hallucinations etc so can drugs, It's just how the brain works, also when it comes to advice from doctors, listen to them as much as I hate to say it, but they exist for your benefit, don't like the advice the doctor is giving you, change doctors, just like if a medication doesn't work, you change medication etc.
    I have listened, and even though I don't agree with having to rely on pharmaceutical drugs, I agreed to be on Latuda, so I'm going to try it, up the dose (I'm only on 20mgs, but I'll ask their permission) and see if this doesn't subside. But if anti-psychotics "DON'T" work, what does that say? Is it psychosis, or do I need to think about it in another light?



    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    That being said, I'm no doctor, but the brain plays tricks on you, and people love to say "oh but it's religion, or god came down to talk to me" nope your brain is malfunctioning, trust me you'll be surprised how much your brain can play tricks on you, drugs being a good example.
    No, I completely trust you on this one LOL! Taking this Ayahuasca sh**? I now see how delusional a brain can get!



    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    That being said, I'm not getting into the 'water' with religion, as hallucinations have nothing to do with religion, but people who hallucinate often think it's a sign from god, or demons possessed me, when in reality it's something going on in the brain that needs to be checked out as many things can cause it, (some cancers even)
    Personally, I think hallucinogenics had a lot to do with starting many of the worlds' religions, and possibly even contributing to our own evolution into sentience. If you aren't familiar with Terence McKenna, he proposes some plausible hypothesis on the matter. But, I'm getting sidetracked, I understand where you're coming from



    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    I'll give you an example, I Have depression and anxiety, my brain sees things a lot worse than they seem to be, something as simple as failure can trigger me to have suicidal thoughts.
    No doubt, I can relate. Definitely our brains are full of biases, fallacious thought patterns, and beliefs structures borne from the flawed perceptions of reality, and further molded by our negative auto suggestions.



    Quote Originally Posted by Binary View Post
    (disclaimer, I'm a strong atheist, only thing keeping me alive I guess.)
    Atheism to me is still something I'm trying to accept, but the beliefs planted by my parents as a child still cause much cognitive dissonance.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    I expect most doctors / psychiatrists would diagnose you with a form of psychosis, potentially schizophrenia (you're at about the right age for that to hit, incidentally). Being of a scientific mindset myself, that is what I would conclude as well. However, my advice is actually the same regardless of whether this is "really" psychosis or possession. I suggest you proceed under the assumption that this is a psychotic break, and see a psychiatrist. Because if in fact this is a psychotic break (perhaps triggered by use of a hallucinogen but likely also due to a latent issue, based on everything you've shared), proper psychiatric care is essential to getting on the road to recovery. On the other hand, if it is a possession, I'm gathering that this particular demon is a bit like Tinkerbell (from the stage play of Peter Pan) and needs you to believe more in it than in God in order to have any power over you... so therefore... stubbornly assuming it is nothing more than psychosis and proceeding as such would really ruin its day, yes?
    I am really trying to see this as a psychotic break and not anything more. It's just a slight bit compelling that the notion of God, (or our mind's possible God "archetype") causes such a reaction with this "entity", its possible that this is a outward manifestation of my cognitive dissonance with believing or not believing in a God/gods/spirits ect.

    Last edited by Mercurius; 16-Apr-2017 at 23:24.

  7. #7

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    The Catholic church which is a highly respected organization, for the most part, has a division that deals with exorcism, and they have a documented history of things that are difficult to explain rationally. That said, demon possession is hard to prove and it's very rare, so I would suspect mental or physical illness. My advise, especially since you overdosed on hallucinogenic drugs, would be to seek psychological help, and I'd do it soon.

    It's possible that your muscular problems are psychosomatic, but you might also be misdiagnosed. Clearly, something either physical or psychological is causing this. Don't give up on medicine. Seek professional help and see if there is someone who can help you.

    As a side, if your were demon possessed, weirder things than muscle contractions would be happening, in my uneducated opinion.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    The Catholic church which is a highly respected organization, for the most part, has a division that deals with exorcism, and they have a documented history of things that are difficult to explain rationally. That said, demon possession is hard to prove and it's very rare, so I would suspect mental or physical illness. My advise, especially since you overdosed on hallucinogenic drugs, would be to seek psychological help, and I'd do it soon.

    It's possible that your muscular problems are psychosomatic, but you might also be misdiagnosed. Clearly, something either physical or psychological is causing this. Don't give up on medicine. Seek professional help and see if there is someone who can help you.

    As a side, if your were demon possessed, weirder things than muscle contractions would be happening, in my uneducated opinion.
    I don't think I overdosed on it. They were administering it via dixie cups (microdosing), and I don't think I even had that much. Like I believe I got up to like 5 possibly 6 cups. But its weird that it lasted so much longer. Maybe my nervous system was overly stimulated by it. I do believe that there is a physical layer to this disorder. I have very overly tense muscles, and just pressing on one spot on my back will make an episode come on. But I also think there is psychological triggers as well.

    Certain stressful events or unpleasant memories can also set it off as well. And I agree with you that I don't have anything else "paranormal" that occur when these possession like episodes hit, which leans more towards it being psychosomatic and not a supernatural phenomena. I mean if sh** starts levitating, I hear footsteps, knocking on walls, pentagrams appearing walls, then I'll be concerned at that point, but nothing as of yet like that has occurred.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mercurius View Post
    Certain stressful events or unpleasant memories can also set it off as well. And I agree with you that I don't have anything else "paranormal" that occur when these possession like episodes hit, which leans more towards it being psychosomatic and not a supernatural phenomena. I mean if sh** starts levitating, I hear footsteps, knocking on walls, pentagrams appearing walls, then I'll be concerned at that point, but nothing as of yet like that has occurred.
    Haha...yeah, you would definitely know. I say this because I did have an experience many years ago. My college roommate and I had gone to my home for the weekend, and he brought a Ouija board. We waited until midnight to play with it. I should add that my parents' house had all the signs of being haunted. Anyway, we did the usual things with the Ouija board, the planchet moving across the board. I assumed he was moving it, and he assumed I was. Anyway, he said, "Show yourself God dammit," and a full figured ghost appeared in the doorway separating my two rooms. I lived in the attic of a cape cod house. Neither he or I had been drinking and I had never taken any sort of drugs at that point in my life. The thing passed through half of me and all of him as it took a right turn and floated into a wall, disappearing.

    Half of my side was cold and he said that all of him was cold. We both described what we saw, and we both saw the same thing, a vision of a man, but you could also see his skeletal frame. To this day I'm not sure that whatever it was started out in life as human. So weird stuff does happen, but it was the only time I ever saw it.

    When I married and brought my wife home to visit with my mom and dad, we slept in my bed, of course, and we slept with that door closed as I always did after the occurrence.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Haha...yeah, you would definitely know. I say this because I did have an experience many years ago. My college roommate and I had gone to my home for the weekend, and he brought a Ouija board. We waited until midnight to play with it. I should add that my parents' house had all the signs of being haunted. Anyway, we did the usual things with the Ouija board, the planchet moving across the board. I assumed he was moving it, and he assumed I was. Anyway, he said, "Show yourself God dammit," and a full figured ghost appeared in the doorway separating my two rooms. I lived in the attic of a cape cod house. Neither he or I had been drinking and I had never taken any sort of drugs at that point in my life. The thing passed through half of me and all of him as it took a right turn and floated into a wall, disappearing.

    Half of my side was cold and he said that all of him was cold. We both described what we saw, and we both saw the same thing, a vision of a man, but you could also see his skeletal frame. To this day I'm not sure that whatever it was started out in life as human. So weird stuff does happen, but it was the only time I ever saw it.

    When I married and brought my wife home to visit with my mom and dad, we slept in my bed, of course, and we slept with that door closed as I always did after the occurrence.
    I tell you man, even though I have to say this because I wouldn't be an honest skeptic if I didn't, but even though your story is anecdotal and can't be substantiated; I here a lot of people's stories and I can honestly say I can't throw them all into the "superstitious" bin. I believe there is at least a moderately high plausibility that there are phenomena that far exceed our Newtonian understanding of reality.

    To a certain degree I'm jealous that you were able to not only have a paranormal experience, but also having a friend that was able to have that shared experience with, which given that the two of you saw and felt the same thing, and given that group hallucinatory events are rare, tends to corroborate your story as being a little more credible than most stories I've heard.

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