siysiy
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Hi all
firstly sorry for the leath of the post but I hope it is worth it.
I need to put this in the book I am righting as I feel it is so important and will hopefully help so many of us Little ones.
How to support a Little with their emotions.
I would like your help as you might have something to add that will also help your fellow little ones, I am always up for learning something new.
Or you might disagree with what I have written, and see things differently, I would love to hear your point of view.
My aim at the end is to have a book that will really be helpful to someone that is finding out about them self’s and there inner child, and dealing with emotions is such a big part of this.
Ok without a further a do,do this is what I got so far.
How you can help your Little with their emotions.
everyone has emotions. And some emotions are nice like joy or happiness, but some emotions are not so nice and might be hard for your Little to deal with, such as fear, anger, or sadness.
So this is some way you could help your little dealing with emotions that are not so nice to have in your head like anger, depression, or frustration.
I hope that this will help both my fellow little one and also help caregivers to address any emotions and will help your both to distress.
The first thing is to try to identify the emotions you are felling, trying to think of one emotion that covers what you are feeling is very hard. So what I do is see if the feeling will fit one of these three.
1) Am I feeling sad about something or someone?
2) Or, am I feeling worried about something or someone?
3) Or, am I feeling anger about something or am I angry at someone?
By doing thing hopefully you can work out what you are feeing and then you can come up with a plan to deal with what it is that making you fill this way.
If I am feeling worried about something or someone this could be a “what if” question. “what if they don’t like me.” This for us little is quiet common and can stop us from going to new place and meeting new people. If your Little one goes shy around people then this could be what they are felling.
If I am feeling sad, it could be because I am remembering something that I have lost in the past or something that I was not able to have, sometime I wish I could be a real grown up and understand the world like other people, but then I wouldn’t be Little me, I would be someone else.
Anger
Everyone experiences anger and rage, though some feel it more violently than other feelings. Anger feels dangerous, frightening and harmful and that why I thing that us Littles don’t like getting angry or being in a structuration where someone is going to be angry at us.
Nevertheless, it is an automatic and protective reaction to something which appears to be threatening our security or betraying our trust in our caregiver.
However, because it feels so explosive it is uncomfortable to live with and feels bad, for us Little ones, we also don’t like feeling bad, as we find it hard to understand that we are feeling bad because we are angry at someone or something or feeling bad because we have been naughty, this will mean that our anxiety will increases.
We can easy personalize anger, and miss the basic issue and direct our feelings on to someone who seems to personify it.
For example we could get cross at a caregiver because of something that happened when we were physically growing up.
But while there is anger, there is still some engagement in the relationship, so it not the end of the relationship but an opportunity for both of you to lean and to grow in a deeper understanding of each other.
If you do not deal with your anger because you are finding it hard to, it won’t just go away it will just always be there feeding your anxiety and making you fill sad and/or bad on the inside. It is much better to get help to resolve your anger. There are some clever people out the call therapies that can help you and your caregiver to come through your anger and the felling of feeling bad and/or sad in the inside.
This does not always happen as telling a therapies that you are a Little and that you don’t really understand the adult world is scary but it was one of the best thing I ever did as it was through cancelling that I found out that I was a Little and about Peter Pan syndrome. They were able to help me discover when anger is expressed appropriately, it can lead to constructive change in my life.
Good relationships can still be maintained. If you are the caregiver you can learn to express your anger in a way that your Little one can tolerate and understand.
If your carry your anger without resolving it we just squash it down this could happen if we think we are not going to be heard, and then it is unlikely we will in the future be able to handle our own or other people's anger.
So what happens if anger is not expressed appropriately and positively?
There will be feelings that are often buried very deeply in the inner person, and gradually seep into our entire personality to make us bitter and twisted, and possibly depressed.
It may also leak into our bodies to help create an ulcer, arthritis, cancer or some similar condition.
Or in other thoughts we lose our happy thoughts, and then we lose our ability to fly away to Neverland, our ability to imagine.
Going into Little space and regress so, you can face yourselves with what you are feeling about a situation, and ask yourself some hard questions, so you discover whether or not you would feel safe enough within yourselves to discuss the upsetting issues with them if this is possible.
If we can reach the person in our feelings, we may be able to imagine a possible conversation that will bring some emotional healing and the possibility of forgiveness.
I try and ask myself
• Is this thought I am having true?
• If you think it’s true, what’re the facts supporting it?
By doing this I can changing my thoughts.
Sometime you can interrupt bad thoughts my choosing to think about something else that will make you happy.
In Philippians 4: 6-9 It says
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Whatever is true, whatever/ is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy think on these things.
Ok this work much better if you believe in Jesus as I do. But the pinchable is still the same to choose to think about nice thing instead of thing that are going to upset you.
But this does tack practice to stop and to challenge yourself before you start feel bad emotions too much.
You can also try and do a pitcher of how you are feeling as a lot of energy goes into emotions, and that energy put into a project or other positive outlets can help us Littles one to express how we are feeling about something
Of course there is always talking thing through with your trusted caregiver or friends as sometimes they can come up with solution to your problem or a way for you to cope that didn’t occur to you.
And you there is talking it through with a professional.
If you are finding thing really hard and it being going on for a long time and the difficult emotions have left you feeling withdrawn or overwhelmed, then you may want to talk to a professional therapist.
A professional also offers an alternative if your emotions stem from something you’d prefer not to share with friends and family members. Your therapist will provide an understanding ear, confidentiality, helpful suggestions, and additional tools and resources to help you cope.
But hiding your feeling and problems will always create more bad feeling and problems than it solves.
Seek support from a caregiver or a good friends, loved ones, relatives, or even a professional therapist will always help you when you are having to deal with emotions especially ones that make you feel bad.
thank you for your input.
Siysiy