MotherFaith
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I have been watching this thread unfold. I am a member of a couple of other forums for various subjects and it is always sad to see somebody fall by the wayside, it is even harder if you got to know the person and have developed any kind of fondness. For good or for bad everyone will find their path in life and with all the will in the world for it not to happen people leave the community. I have not had any interaction with the OP but reading their posts I can sense they are torn between ideas. I am sure they are making the right choice and we must make sure we are here for them should they need to return.
One of the great aspects of communities on the fringes of society is their enduring ability to cling together. That is what we must do now, accept that we can be here for each other and also allow each other to fade away if needed. I have seen many folk on this scene battle with the demons and finally decide to choose a relationship over indulging in their desires. For some it is simply to large a cross to bare to not be with their spouse and making the ultimate sacrifice can be the biggest act of love they can bestow. Sometimes to be truly happy we must deny ourselves what we crave.
I hope, for the OP's sake, that the decision brings them closer with their partner and they truly have no need to come back to the fold. As much as I miss people that decide to turn away from the lifestyle I do truly understand how much anxiety an alternative choice can have on someone who simply does not understand. We can try all we like but some folk will just never understand lifestyles different from the societal norms. It is neither bad nor good, just a fact of life. We have no right to expect people to understand or accept, as long they respect and keep their judgements to themselves.
One positive we can all take from this is that we do not have to allow a lifestyle like this be a burden. The OP has reconciled something that appears to have been causing great anguish for them and a loved one, their path was stop altogether. I take great comfort in that my choices are just that, choices, I am not ruled by choices or needs but instead in control and able to step back when they threaten to overwhelm. Accepting and controlling, finding a balance and taking breaks, this is the key to happy life. Be there for each other.
One of the great aspects of communities on the fringes of society is their enduring ability to cling together. That is what we must do now, accept that we can be here for each other and also allow each other to fade away if needed. I have seen many folk on this scene battle with the demons and finally decide to choose a relationship over indulging in their desires. For some it is simply to large a cross to bare to not be with their spouse and making the ultimate sacrifice can be the biggest act of love they can bestow. Sometimes to be truly happy we must deny ourselves what we crave.
I hope, for the OP's sake, that the decision brings them closer with their partner and they truly have no need to come back to the fold. As much as I miss people that decide to turn away from the lifestyle I do truly understand how much anxiety an alternative choice can have on someone who simply does not understand. We can try all we like but some folk will just never understand lifestyles different from the societal norms. It is neither bad nor good, just a fact of life. We have no right to expect people to understand or accept, as long they respect and keep their judgements to themselves.
One positive we can all take from this is that we do not have to allow a lifestyle like this be a burden. The OP has reconciled something that appears to have been causing great anguish for them and a loved one, their path was stop altogether. I take great comfort in that my choices are just that, choices, I am not ruled by choices or needs but instead in control and able to step back when they threaten to overwhelm. Accepting and controlling, finding a balance and taking breaks, this is the key to happy life. Be there for each other.