A Sad Goodbye although for the best.

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I wish you the best of luck. I would do anything to be rid of this and be able to have normal relationships. I sincerely hope it works out for you.
 
The OP hasn't logged in since posting this three days ago. I wonder if he's in for a bad purge/binge cycle, or managing to not think about diapers at all.
 
Slomo said:
The OP hasn't logged in since posting this three days ago. I wonder if he's in for a bad purge/binge cycle, or managing to not think about diapers at all.

My guess is he is taking a break from this site intending not to come back and will unintentionally be back a couple of months... hopefully I'm wrong.
 
rennecfox said:
My guess is he is taking a break from this site intending not to come back and will unintentionally be back a couple of months... hopefully I'm wrong.

I've been there a few times. Always came back.
 
I'd be interested in hearing you people's opinions on this issue...how healthy is giving up (or trying to give up, because I believe some things will be part of you always) for a significant other? Is it noble or futile?
 
CrinkleMyJimmies said:
I'd be interested in hearing you people's opinions on this issue...how healthy is giving up (or trying to give up, because I believe some things will be part of you always) for a significant other? Is it noble or futile?

Well, I joined the Marines in part to help me get over liking diapers. It did not work, and was the biggest/longest purge I went through. My later binge was as well.

And in paying attention to other's statement for decades, I've seen purging simply does not work. Not once have I heard of someone being successful in just not liking them.

This is what has lead me to the conclusion that being an abdl is an integral and compulsory part of who we are and how we think. And we all know trying to change how a person thinks (not what they believe either) is defenitely futile.
 
Slomo said:
Well, I joined the Marines in part to help me get over liking diapers. It did not work, and was the biggest/longest purge I went through. My later binge was as well.

And in paying attention to other's statement for decades, I've seen purging simply does not work. Not once have I heard of someone being successful in just not liking them.

This is what has lead me to the conclusion that being an abdl is an integral and compulsory part of who we are and how we think. And we all know trying to change how a person thinks (not what they believe either) is defenitely futile.

The bigger question to that I keep coming back to is "why?". I'm probably the only person here to ever ask that one, right? (sarcasm). I still wrestle w/ that question though. It seems completely illogical and strange. This is nothing new to me either, since I was a child, as young as probably 4 or 5, this has been part of me. I just don't understand WHY though. I suppose I probably never will.
 
rice said:
The bigger question to that I keep coming back to is "why?". I'm probably the only person here to ever ask that one, right? (sarcasm). I still wrestle w/ that question though. It seems completely illogical and strange. This is nothing new to me either, since I was a child, as young as probably 4 or 5, this has been part of me. I just don't understand WHY though. I suppose I probably never will.

I don't think we can know with certainty and I don't see that it's really important. I wouldn't mind knowing but I don't think it would make much difference. It was likely sort of a flowchart of things that happened and things that were inherent in me that caused me to react in certain ways. The thing is, you could say the same for any one of the other things we have a liking for but don't obsess over the reasons. I don't know why I have a passion for games that everyone in my family lacks but it's there and it's great. This is the same to me, at this point. I just have to act on it at the right times and with the right people.

To the OP: I can't say I think this is the right approach but I understand why you believe it's necessary. I hope it leads to something good for you and your relationship. We'll be here if you need us. Remember that there's nothing wrong with you.
 
rice said:
The bigger question to that I keep coming back to is "why?". I'm probably the only person here to ever ask that one, right? (sarcasm). I still wrestle w/ that question though. It seems completely illogical and strange. This is nothing new to me either, since I was a child, as young as probably 4 or 5, this has been part of me. I just don't understand WHY though. I suppose I probably never will.

Hah, you and me both. I've literally been drawn to diapers since before I can remember. I have theories why, but no proof so it's just conuecture. I'll likely never know why either.

I hear so often it's the same for a lot of others too. Just one day they are drawn to them like it's something they've always needed but never realized. Why though, who knows.
 
My theory, at least for me, is that due to my highly sensitive nature, which was brought to light by my therapist, I've always looked subconsciously for ways to alleviate stress and relax. Although I have no memories that might explain my fascination with it, I suspect it was simply a case of wanting what I could no longer have. I do have very vague memories of wishing I could just wear those Pampers instead of the boring big kid underwear. But those aren't for big kids! Sorry, that early stress reliever is going to have to get lost. Only it doesn't. Every time a diaper commercial comes on, every time a cartoon character gets unrealistically babied up, every walk through the baby isle in the grocery store triggers that desire. I recently realized that my other peculiar habit probably has something to do with it as well. I like petting my own hair. Combing it, keeping it soft, etc. I do it without even realizing it and as a kid I had the bowl cut hair because I was always petting it down. As I got older this began to embarrass me so I'd cut my hair short or shave it off to deter that behavior. I'm finally just letting it grow, realizing that I can do it and it's harmless. So I'm finally feeling that way about diapers as well. Wishing it away wont work. It'll end up in your dreams, for starters.
 
I've been through the ringer myself on this topic, among others dealing with my diaper fetish, but I don't see "giving up" as a realistic option. Giving up the Diaper is not the same thing as throwing away your stash, deleting your accounts, and wiping the drive. Instead, its a shift from working towards a better harmony between you and your wife as individuals to a life of unhealthy white knuckling and denying yourself the comfort and security you mentioned.

I wasn't lucky when it comes to my wife and my fetish, but I told her over five years before we were married. She stayed and she knows that this is my "catch". We've had our ups and downs, but even she would never consider me "giving my fetish up" as an option, because thats kind of impossible.

Some people need more than others. What I've been able to manage, when it comes to expressing myself, has been enough as I've grown more and more used to not having my childhood bedroom to escape to. Working towards that is more beneficial than slapping your wrist every time you daydream about an incontinence product for the rest of your life, just because your wife wasn't willing to meet you at the halfway point… and thinks its "icky".
 
When someone won't accept you for everything you are, and will only accept a modified version of you, it's unlikely to end well. And AB/DL isn't something you can switch on and off, it's really a part of who we are. Giving it up is only going to cause resentment in the long term.

While "choosing diapers over a partner" might seem hard to justify on the face of it, in effect it's choosing to be yourself over being with someone who won't accept you being yourself.
 
This is something that i just dont understand. Why would somebody suppress there own desires to make someone else satisfied? It sounds selfish but when you actually think of it, what if something happened to you tommorow? No more diaper wearing. Im sure you love your wife more than the diapers but cmon, a negotiation of wearing even while she isnt around is a more than fair alternative. Im just so glad that i realize how short and precious life is at such a young age. If there is anything in this world that makes it worth living for, its what makes me happy (diapers, sexual fantasies etc) Although, Im sure that abstaining from diapers simply as an 'experiment' wont hurt and may even benefit. Good Luck.....
 
Starrunner said:
I was looking at the OP's profile and some previous threads. These ones for example:

https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/101643-Arrrggggg-Sooo-frustrating!!!!!

https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/100808-Some-thoughts-and-questions

It appears possible that the OP is still having difficulty accepting his ABDL side, and although his spouse is struggling with it, she appears to have been trying to compromise with the OP. I'm wondering if he is forcing himself into believing that she is not accepting of his diapers so he will have the motivation to give them up.

Well at the same time from reading those, it to me sounds like she isn't really. She may deal with it, but certainly, wouldn't call it accepting.
 
It is an issue of control on her part. Sometimes a person cannot understand this without some skilled help. What would she have to feel if she let go of control of this? Feelings can be hard and feeling helpless can be the hardest. It's emotional baggage on her part that she cannot compromise here. If you agreed to do your diapering in private, what can the objection be?

If you can get her to see a therapist about this, the solution is simple but clearly will be hard for her. In the end though, she will feel much better herself and will have rid herself of baggage. And you will have your self-respect.
 
Isle said:
It is an issue of control on her part. Sometimes a person cannot understand this without some skilled help. What would she have to feel if she let go of control of this? Feelings can be hard and feeling helpless can be the hardest. It's emotional baggage on her part that she cannot compromise here. If you agreed to do your diapering in private, what can the objection be?

If you can get her to see a therapist about this, the solution is simple but clearly will be hard for her. In the end though, she will feel much better herself and will have rid herself of baggage. And you will have your self-respect.

The person has left at this point and hasn't been back so you won't be getting an answer on that unless something changes.
 
It appears possible that the OP is still having difficulty accepting his ABDL side, and although his spouse is struggling with it, she appears to have been trying to compromise with the OP. I'm wondering if he is forcing himself into believing that she is not accepting of his diapers so he will have the motivation to give them up.

Ah, it's all starting to make sense now
 
Well, I also wish you the best of luck trying to sort out what is obviously a very painful and personal issue for you. After reading your post, I feel like your wife is putting limits on her love for you. After all, a marriage is "til death do us part," and its love should have no limits or restrictions. If she truly loves you forever, and loves you without limits, then by all rights, she must learn to eventually accept your AB/DL side. Trust me, there are "kinks," as you called this, that are far more abnormal and "weird" than a desire to wear diapers. I cannot see where this aspect of your personality is causing grave or irreparable harm to you, your wife, or anyone else, for that matter. Try as you may, you will likely find, as I have, that you cannot sublimate, or repress, a vital part of your personality and your psyche. As was said in a previous post, you can no more suppress or deny a desire to wear diapers than you can change the color of your skin, or your sexual orientation. These things are a huge part of who you are as an individual. I do not believe that we were meant to be carbon-copy clones of one another. It seems to me your wife is quite literally forcing you, and mandating, that you be a perfect manifestation of who SHE wants you to be, not who YOU want to be. This is patently wrong, in my humble opinion. Your spouse should love you for who you are, and not put a price tag on her love for you. You wil be paying a far heavier price for submitting to her extremely rigid, and I might add, even a bit prejudiced, rules for you and your marriage. Your sacrifice, undoubtedly, will come at the cost of sacrificing a piece of yourself to save your marriage. It's a lot like telling someone to not be ill with terminal cancer, because it offends them in some skewed way. Gradually, you may discover that a vital part of you has quite literally died inside of you. That is no way to live. Everyone has the right to live their life to its fullest, most actualized potential, without limits, reservations, or boundaries of any kind. Your wife is establishing a boundary that I do not believe that you will be able to abide by for the rest of your life. Also, where do the rules and boundaries end with her? What other part of your life will she find offensive, and force you to give up? Where will it all end? Love, in its truest form, has no boundaries, or limits. True love is limitless, boundless, eternally compassionate, empathic, and replete with an infinite refulgence of respect for another human being, in all of his or her varied and diverse ways of expressing him or herself, his or her core identities, and personality. For someone who truly loves you, the only answer is "Yes, beloved, yes." "No" is not in the vocabulary of the true lover. In conclusion, I only want to express my heartfelt and most sincere hopes that you will, one day, be able to be who you truly are. Best wishes for a happy, successful, loving, and limitless marriage based on trust, respect, and most of all, love, from now until the end of time.
 
rennecfox said:
The person has left at this point and hasn't been back so you won't be getting an answer on that unless something changes.

Yeah I thought about that. Maybe he will someday.
 
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