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Thread: Reducing the "Cringe" Mentality

  1. #1

    Default Reducing the "Cringe" Mentality

    We've all seen the word used by non-*BDLs to describe their reaction to just knowing we're here: "cringe".

    It's stuff like this, as well as some harassment on DeviantArt, that makes me support the notion of open activism.

  2. #2

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    Huh? Lost me please elaborate some more. What is BDL also. Thanks Al

  3. #3
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZetaSonic View Post
    We've all seen the word used by non-*BDLs to describe their reaction to just knowing we're here: "cringe".

    It's stuff like this, as well as some harassment on DeviantArt, that makes me support the notion of open activism.
    I think I can understand why it would make some people cringe. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.



    Quote Originally Posted by INCONTAL View Post
    Huh? Lost me please elaborate some more. What is BDL also. Thanks Al
    *BDL takes away the "A" and replaced it with a "*" to be inclusive. Adult, Teen ..etc

  4. #4

    Default

    The 'cringe factor' is a conditioned response. Most people - particularly women - are conditioned to a very pragmatic view of diapers as being worn only by babies or the elderly. As Cate Blanchett once said, "We all end up in diapers sooner or later."

    The world at large seems to think that anyone who wants to be in diapers "sooner" is an object of derision, an attention-seeker or someone with mental issues. I think that's because the idea of an adult in diapers is so unaccustomed, and we live in a society that thrives on knee-jerk responses.

    Haters are going to hate; closed-minded folks are always going to have a very judgmental view of *B/DL lifestyles. With a little time and an open mind, however, I think many people who initially display negative reactions can at least become neutral on the point.

    If you're looking for a world that doesn't judge you because you wear diapers (whether out of choice or necessity) I think you'll be waiting a few decades. We're not there yet.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZetaSonic View Post
    We've all seen the word used by non-*BDLs to describe their reaction to just knowing we're here: "cringe".

    It's stuff like this, as well as some harassment on DeviantArt, that makes me support the notion of open activism.
    I couldn't agree more. However, I do believe before we can get general society better understand us, we must first work within our own community to get the rest of us to understand too.

    It really does surprise and dismay me how many here still believe being an AB or DL is some sort of sexual fetish. This is where that sexual/pedophile cring comes from, and is what we need to seperate out amongst ourselves first- before we try and get the rest of society to follow suit.

  6. #6
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    It really does surprise and dismay me how many here still believe being an AB or DL is some sort of sexual fetish.
    No one here says it's entirely a sexual fetish, that is simply what you seem to get out of the arguments that you never actually reply to. x.x
    If you can't ever have a proper debate, don't expect you will ever change another person's mind. If you can't counter arguments, then all you do is solidify a person's stance.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by sbmccue View Post
    The 'cringe factor' is a conditioned response. Most people - particularly women - are conditioned to a very pragmatic view of diapers as being worn only by babies or the elderly. As Cate Blanchett once said, "We all end up in diapers sooner or later."

    The world at large seems to think that anyone who wants to be in diapers "sooner" is an object of derision, an attention-seeker or someone with mental issues. I think that's because the idea of an adult in diapers is so unaccustomed, and we live in a society that thrives on knee-jerk responses.

    Haters are going to hate; closed-minded folks are always going to have a very judgmental view of *B/DL lifestyles. With a little time and an open mind, however, I think many people who initially display negative reactions can at least become neutral on the point.

    If you're looking for a world that doesn't judge you because you wear diapers (whether out of choice or necessity) I think you'll be waiting a few decades. We're not there yet.
    Something to keep in mind it's not even "conditioned" it's an evolutionary trait to some extent. Very few animals want to be anywhere near their own waste, let alone have to wear it. Babies and elderly get away with it and there is less stigma with it, because they tend to need to. It doesn't change the fact that it's still gross to just about everyone who isn't an AB/DL. Do you think mothers who change baby diapers don't think it's gross?

    Let me ask you this. Do you want people who have a vomit fetish (sexual or not) to start making it public and accepted without any sort of cringe?

  7. #7

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    Something to keep in mind: Vomiting is an inclusive act; it's hard to vomit in public without someone else experiencing it inadvertently. Diapers, on the other hand, can be worn and even used undetected. Conditioning is conditioning; whether diaper contents are 'gross' or not doesn't have much to do with it. Girls are taught from infancy that diapers are things their dolls wear; later, they see them as strictly for babies. That may explain why there are so many more 'boy' AB/DLs than 'girls,' since few comparatively boys play with dolls or even babysit as teenagers.

  8. #8
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbmccue View Post
    Something to keep in mind: Vomiting is an inclusive act; it's hard to vomit in public without someone else experiencing it inadvertently. Diapers, on the other hand, can be worn and even used undetected.
    So if it's such a private matter why does it need to be accepted by the public? Why do we need people to understand it? Why do we need people to not cringe? It's not like they are stopping us from wearing. It's not like we need to actually make it public. It's not like raising awareness is going to stop child abuse or dissatisfaction from parents who see it in poor light. Quite frankly, it's always going to be seen in a poor light simply because of what it is we are doing. Sure you maybe able to make it better and accepted for those who are IC, but it's not going to get better for people who do it on purpose. No one is ever going to understand it, unless they are AB/DL themselves.

    Also, I got news for you, some AB/DL want to do inclusive acts as well. Some feel they should be able to crap their diaper around other people. So I really don't see it any different than the act of vomiting.



    Conditioning is conditioning; whether diaper contents are 'gross' or not doesn't have much to do with it. Girls are taught from infancy that diapers are things their dolls wear; later, they see them as strictly for babies. That may explain why there are so many more 'boy' AB/DLs than 'girls,' since few comparatively boys play with dolls or even babysit as teenagers.
    This only applies to those who have no control. The reason babies and older people wear is because they have to. So if you raise awareness for diaper wearing, it's only going to increase acceptability on those who have that need. Not for those who wear because they simply like to.

    Also .. I love how many assumptions you have to make. Like as if you know that is why things are the way they are. How about you prove to me that people view all these things as they do due to conditioning.

  9. #9

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    Well, I've been a practicing AB for more than 30 years, and, since 1985, I've read everything I could find on behavioral conditioning. That doesn't make me an expert, but I'm not inclined to write a volume on conditioning simply because you aren't interested enough to read about the mental process involved.

    I've never advocated that ABs or DLs need to "raise awareness for diaper wearing." For me, wearing and using diapers is not something I'm inclined to share beyond my caregiver. As I said in my initial post on this thread, I do think people eventually come around to the notion that we're not all responsibility-escaping psychopaths. That may be as much progress as we can make - or need to make - at this point.

  10. #10
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbmccue View Post
    Well, I've been a practicing AB for more than 30 years, and, since 1985, I've read everything I could find on behavioral conditioning. That doesn't make me an expert, but I'm not inclined to write a volume on conditioning simply because you aren't interested enough to read about the mental process involved.
    I have read enough about that sort of thing. My point is correlation doesn't equal causation. It's assumptions you made without any actual evidence.
    So ask yourself this. Is the ill feeling toward it due to the conditioning or is the conditioning due to the ill feelings?



    I've never advocated that ABs or DLs need to "raise awareness for diaper wearing."
    Right, though that is essentially what this thread is about. To try and eliminate the cringe people feel towards us. Which I don't even think is possible. I cringe on something people do here in our own community. I cringe on other fetishes. There isn't really anything wrong with cringing. It happens when it hard to understand something and it just seems to foreign to you.

    I just think some people here don't quite understand that this interest we have isn't just something you can spread awareness about and have people come to accept it. If anything, it's going to put us more in the spotlight and generate far more hate.

    I think it's great this is something easily hidden. Unlike being transgender, where it's not so easy. It's like everyone sees something being open out in the public to be a good thing when they don't really consider all the hate they will recieve. There is a reason transgender have such a high rate of suicide. Do we need that for AB/DL as well?

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