How to explain diaper packs arriving for those who aren't 'out'.

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CrinkleMyJimmies

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I recently ordered my first online diapers from Littles Downunder. I live with a friend who in general respects my privacy but who sometimes gets a little nosy when a package arrives for me (since I don't buy stuff online all that often, maybe only 2-3 times per year packages arriving for me are a little out of character). Especially a large package. What excuse should I tell her if she questions me about it?:confused:
 
You like hiking yes?>

Purchased a new pack :)
 
Unfortunately no lol. Usually the only stuff I buy online is makeup and skincare which arrives in tiny boxes.

I also have nightmares about my parents coming over while I'm out and signing off and opening the box for me (they have the keys to my house). But I think the probability of this happening in reality is tiny.
 
Got any family issues like nieces, nephews birthday gift or an Easter gift , or buy a cheap bed comforter and hide it , if anything comes up about the delivery , say you got a great deal on a comforter & pillows .

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There's always the option of, "It's personal, I'd rather not discuss." And, if its a friend you trust, you could just be up front and go with the truth.
 
BabyCorry said:
There's always the option of, "It's personal, I'd rather not discuss." And, if its a friend you trust, you could just be up front and go with the truth.

Well I am fairly close to her but I tend to be a pretty guarded and cryptic person by nature. I am the stereotypical 'cat' rather than 'dog' personality. The thought of having to tell anyone irl still makes me squirm to my bones. Although I'd 'fess up and tell the truth if someone actually confronted me about it.
 
I think we all know that feeling. It comes down to do you want to be open with your friend or not. Another factor is how often are you going to wear. If you wear and use your diapers around the house while she's also home, she may notice. There is also throwing away used diapers even if you don't wear around her. They take up a lot of trash space. Not trying to scare you away from your diapers. Just a few of the logistics of wearing. The hardest part about wearing 24/7 for me is at home with roommates. Out of the house, even at work, people are just don't notice and if they do they don't care enough to say anything. Friends and family at home, sooner or later will find out if you wear 24/7 or close to it. So that conversation has to happen eventually. Or maybe not... I've got two people renting from me. I have cases of diapers delivered about every 6 weeks. I'm wearing around the house, obviously. There is no way they don't know, but it's never been brought up.
 
BabyCorry said:
I think we all know that feeling. It comes down to do you want to be open with your friend or not. Another factor is how often are you going to wear. If you wear and use your diapers around the house while she's also home, she may notice. There is also throwing away used diapers even if you don't wear around her. They take up a lot of trash space. Not trying to scare you away from your diapers. Just a few of the logistics of wearing. The hardest part about wearing 24/7 for me is at home with roommates. Out of the house, even at work, people are just don't notice and if they do they don't care enough to say anything. Friends and family at home, sooner or later will find out if you wear 24/7 or close to it. So that conversation has to happen eventually. Or maybe not... I've got two people renting from me. I have cases of diapers delivered about every 6 weeks. I'm wearing around the house, obviously. There is no way they don't know, but it's never been brought up.

Thanks for being honest about the logistics of wearing 24/7, which is something I aspire to, eventually. I wonder do many people really snoop through the trash to see what their partner/kids/room mate are throwing out though? To me that's pretty yukky! I have thrown stuff away at certain times of my life that I didn't want the person I was living with to see (parents, exes, roommates) and nobody has ever questioned me about it. I just double bag the item I don't want attention of (ziplock bag, then black garbo bag) and voila! It's just trash. Admittedly used nappies are higher volume than most embarrassing items, which might make a difference.
 
It's not that people snoop through the trash. Its that 2 or 3 diapers a day fills the trash FAST.
 
I've had a boat roommate who asked about a delivery of a case of diapers. My response: No.

No is a complete sentence. If they push harder, you be firmer with your boundaries. No - it's private and thats all I feel comfortable sharing.

If they push even harder - I said no, and I would ask you to PLEASE respect my boundaries.
 
babybobby said:
I've had a boat roommate who asked about a delivery of a case of diapers. My response: No.

No is a complete sentence. If they push harder, you be firmer with your boundaries. No - it's private and thats all I feel comfortable sharing.

If they push even harder - I said no, and I would ask you to PLEASE respect my boundaries.

I like this response. Short, firm, and to the point.


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babybobby said:
I've had a boat roommate who asked about a delivery of a case of diapers. My response: No.

No is a complete sentence. If they push harder, you be firmer with your boundaries. No - it's private and thats all I feel comfortable sharing.

If they push even harder - I said no, and I would ask you to PLEASE respect my boundaries.

^ this.

I cannot understand why people think they have to explain them selves when ever they are asked. It's none of their god damn business and you need to make that clear. Don't dance around it. Be blunt and make sure suspicion and arousal are gone.
It's easy to look them right in the eye and say "it is none of your business." That draws the line. You can even ask them "why do you feel the need to know?" and let them know it comes across as possessive and creepy. That will definitely make them stop.
What is the worst thing that will happen? Your room mate will get mad for a few minutes. That is it.
 
mayhem said:
I cannot understand why people think they have to explain them selves when ever they are asked.

I was going to answer with this as well after reading the original post. Ordering large parcels is your business and yours alone. You do not owe an explanation to anyone and anyone that does ask does not have a right to know. It is nice to answer our friends or family when they ask us questions but in reality we are entitled to privacy and have the right to ask it is respected. I do not think you need to be rude or cryptic about the situation and if you just act natural and shrug that it is nothing then that is enough.

I remember at times when I was a DL and living at home I would plan the delivery very well. Maybe during a week off work or a planed next day, before 9am delivery for example. That way I would be able to see the van arrive and be prepared to quickly and without fuss carry it to my room. If anyone did ask I would say it was video games. This was an easy reason to use because everyone knows I collect retro games. If they would pry further I would say it is something for me to enjoy and that was that.

For the most part people are to wrapped up in their own lives to be that bothered. They would have forgotten within a short space of time you had a delivery and life goes on. Just plan it well, make sure you are home and do npt act shifty or dodgy to arouse suspicion. And at the end of the day if you do let your gaurd down then you can simply explain it is private.
 
mayhem said:
^ this.

I cannot understand why people think they have to explain them selves when ever they are asked. It's none of their god damn business and you need to make that clear. Don't dance around it. Be blunt and make sure suspicion and arousal are gone.
It's easy to look them right in the eye and say "it is none of your business." That draws the line. You can even ask them "why do you feel the need to know?" and let them know it comes across as possessive and creepy. That will definitely make them stop.
What is the worst thing that will happen? Your room mate will get mad for a few minutes. That is it.

Your reply is perfectly clear and logical and makes perfect sense :graduate: However our biggest fears in life are not always rational. My whole life I have had this HUGE need to please others, and not say things people don't want to hear and live up to their expectatons. I have a MASSIVE fear of criticism, or even questioning. Like one bit of criticism would be like a knife to my heart. Even people suggesting that I have not lived up to their expectations (parents) gets me in tears (privately of course, because my public persona is one tough cookie who never cries).

And unfortunately I have to say that my own parents frequently seem to enjoy, almost sadistically to me that I'm not the daughter they ordered, and like to bring up my own 'failings' and biggest insecurities and sneer and openly mock my differences and diffuculties (in some sort of misguided attempt to toughen me up or something) and like to discover my mental "weak spots" to sneer and make fun of them. They love to find a mental weak spot, so that they can win mind games, and I don't know what? Feel superior or something. I look on the bright side and thing maybe they just tried their best to make me tough in a tough world or something, but it's like a dagger to my heart.
 
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Just realised you are another Aussie, next time sweety talk to the post office about collecting from there rather than a delivery if that's an option?

Not sure why but when I was reading this thread I just had a flash of you coming home and your housemate telling you she put your box of nappies in your room.... :eek

I have had several parcels from Littlesdownunder and everyone I received was in plain brown boxes.

Maybe prealert your housemate a heavy large box with some books you promised to drop off to a friend might turn up? I know lying is bad but white lies are tools.
 
BabyCorry said:
It's not that people snoop through the trash. Its that 2 or 3 diapers a day fills the trash FAST.

I totally know the feeling. At first, I just double wrapped them in plastic bags, but I still realize it's odd that, suddenly, there are these heavy bags of large items in the trash. The two roommates I rent from would probably be understanding, but the third one, I'm not sure. He's quite an introvert and very rarely says a word to me; even when he learned that I was transgender. However, he is the one who takes the trash out...

CrinkleMyJimmies, I can't really give you advice because, from what you've told us, your personality and mine are very, VERY different. Whereas I would just be honest (no matter how painful it would be), you may want to have a contingency plan; not saying that you should lie because I live by a code of honor that prevents me from lying and general dishonesty and I look down on those that do lie. You may want to talk to the delivery company that usually delivers your diapers and see if they can make an exception for you such as:

a) If you're not home to sign for the package, have them bring it back to the office where you can pick it up at your convenience
b) When I order things offline, I have NEVER had to sign off for it so, just have them leave it at the door and make it clear to your roommates that they are not to touch your package; just have them set it in your room or leave it outside the door.
 
This story is worth to share: I once ordered a pacifier. I was supposed to be alone at home that week but unlucky for me my mom took a week off from work that day(it was monday). Well, when lovely delivery girl rang the doorbell I played it like it was a package for my friend who is not at home at the moment. I think she believed me. What's worse As I rushed for my wallet she was already paying for it.
What a terrible unfortunate. I never order anything when someone is at home.
 
CrinkleMyJimmies said:
Your reply is perfectly clear and logical and makes perfect sense :graduate: However our biggest fears in life are not always rational. My whole life I have had this HUGE need to please others, and not say things people don't want to hear and live up to their expectatons. I have a MASSIVE fear of criticism, or even questioning. Like one bit of criticism would be like a knife to my heart. Even people suggesting that I have not lived up to their expectations (parents) gets me in tears (privately of course, because my public persona is one tough cookie who never cries).

And unfortunately I have to say that my own parents frequently seem to enjoy, almost sadistically to me that I'm not the daughter they ordered, and like to bring up my own 'failings' and biggest insecurities and sneer and openly mock my differences and diffuculties (in some sort of misguided attempt to toughen me up or something) and like to discover my mental "weak spots" to sneer and make fun of them. They love to find a mental weak spot, so that they can win mind games, and I don't know what? Feel superior or something. I look on the bright side and thing maybe they just tried their best to make me tough in a tough world or something, but it's like a dagger to my heart.

Wow. That hurts my heart to read. I'm so sorry that you've had such sociopathic abusive assholes as parents. Coming from a person with a alcoholic borderline personality mother - I know that pain well.

I'm here if you need to talk - just know that you are beautiful, loved, and perfect- just the way you are. And no one - not even your parents has the right to say otherwise.

[emoji847]
 
Xzanza said:
CrinkleMyJimmies, I can't really give you advice because, from what you've told us, your personality and mine are very, VERY different. Whereas I would just be honest (no matter how painful it would be), you may want to have a contingency plan; not saying that you should lie because I live by a code of honor that prevents me from lying and general dishonesty and I look down on those that do lie. You may want to talk to the delivery company that usually delivers your diapers and see if they can make an exception for you such as:

Just to be clear in general I really dislike lying too and think honesty is always the best policy (although I don't mind the odd white lie when someone asks something that really is zero of their business and makes me feel uncomfortable.). However my personality is *really* guarded (not introverted though), and I always find myself wanting to manipulate how others perceive me (not online, online I don't really care but irl). So yeah, if someone OUTRIGHT confronted me about my diaper use or 'little' side I would confess to it, I would never tell an outright lie like I was incontinent or something. However it would also be an absolute nightmare for me.
 
Like the others have said, just tell them it's none of their business.

If however, you wear a diaper often, and are around someone often too, then it is likely to come up. It's better to just let them know so they don't come to some misconclusion and you don't have to stress over them finding out.
 
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