Tykables story on Huffpost

kerry said:

Oh, pretty much everyone agrees that the vast majority of ABs are not in it for sexual kicks; most are in it for other reasons including escaping the adult world and its responsibilities, being taken care of, reliving childhood, immersing in a Little world, etc.

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I don't think I can necessarily agree with that statement. I can't say it's wrong, but I also can't say it's right either. Not only do we have no clue how many AB/DL there actually are, we also have no clue how many are involved in it that get turned on by it. Also, you have to consider there are likely tons of people who claim they are not sexually turned on by it, but indeed are. I imagine it's got to be a pretty common lie in this community, similarly to how many like to say they are incontinence when they really are not. There is no way to point out who is and who isn't lying, but I can say with certainty it does occur. I don't know how often it occurs, but it for sure does.

When you don't actually know something, it's best not to make a generalization on behalf of the entire community.

Maxx said:

Ahhh! The storefront equivalent of a plain brown wrapper. That makes a certain amount of sense. You don't want to rub the neighbor's noses in it, and the people that know about you found out online and don't need a flashy display in the window. Its not like somebody's going to pass by and see it on the way to the 7-11 and think "Hey, it's Friday night, think I'll go get some diapers and a pacifier."

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It's the billboard with the scantily clad nappy wearer that really draws the eye traveling down the highway.

Maxx said:

Ahhh! The storefront equivalent of a plain brown wrapper. That makes a certain amount of sense. You don't want to rub the neighbor's noses in it, and the people that know about you found out online and don't need a flashy display in the window. Its not like somebody's going to pass by and see it on the way to the 7-11 and think "Hey, it's Friday night, think I'll go get some diapers and a pacifier."

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They used to have a lego-brick-print cover on the windows, but I think they ditched it after the complaints started rolling in. http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/journal-topics.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/6/9c/69c6b2d8-29c9-11e6-9062-b3397b065ba9/5751e7e41e36b.image.jpg?resize=300%2C225

MarchinBunny said:

I don't think I can necessarily agree with that statement. I can't say it's wrong, but I also can't say it's right either. Not only do we have no clue how many AB/DL there actually are, we also have no clue how many are involved in it that get turned on by it. Also, you have to consider there are likely tons of people who claim they are not sexually turned on by it, but indeed are. I imagine it's got to be a pretty common lie in this community, similarly to how many like to say they are incontinence when they really are not. There is no way to point out who is and who isn't lying, but I can say with certainty it does occur. I don't know how often it occurs, but it for sure does.

When you don't actually know something, it's best not to make a generalization on behalf of the entire community.

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I suppose not. But I generalized from what I have read in posts and what I understood/understand to be the case: ABs as a whole are not in this for the sexual release; in fact, that almost lies contrary to the very goal of being in Little Space, where your adult world should not intrude at all. The desire is to "be" the baby, and babies (despite Freud) are not sexual creatures. Now I am not suggesting, nor would I, that this is true of everyone; there are obviously ABs who, while they enjoy the lure of entering that Little Space, also find that their adult minds get off on it. Everyone responds to things in their own idiosyncratic ways. And you're right about lies, too: there is no way to tell from internet posts who is telling the truth; all we can ever do is take people at their word, which is what I choose to do absent any reason not to. Maybe that's naïve; I choose to think of it as optimistic regarding my fellow travelers. And to reiterate: there's nothing wrong with getting a sexual turn-on from any of this. It's a kink like any other kink. Who cares? So whatever generalization might be drawn is utterly non-judgemental.

kerry said:

I suppose not. But I generalized from what I have read in posts and what I understood/understand to be the case: ABs as a whole are not in this for the sexual release; in fact, that almost lies contrary to the very goal of being in Little Space, where your adult world should not intrude at all. The desire is to "be" the baby, and babies (despite Freud) are not sexual creatures.

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Ya, but I am just saying we don't actually know. We don't have the numbers. I agree that for the most part, at least with how it seems to me, most ABs are not in it for the sexual release. Although, on the other hand it also depends on how many people are really a combination of AB and DL. For me, I am both and I suspect most people are to some degree both and not just entirely an AB. But that is where it's a bit weird, why is it even seperated at that point to begin with?

I could say it's not sexual for me as an adult baby but is sexual for me as a diaper lover ... but think about how little that makes sense as they overlap significantly. Doesn't that just mean, it's sexual? Just not all the time? Also, if being a diaper lover isn't always sexual ... then doesn't that make all ABs who like diapers also DLs? I know not all DLs are ABs though. But then ... at what point does a DL fit into the category of an AB? If they like pacifiers ... is that enough?

So what exactly is the separating factor? Where is the line drawn? Also, if it is seperate, how do I know the DL side of it isn't directly caused by the AB side? Or vice versa?

Now I am not suggesting, nor would I, that this is true of everyone; there are obviously ABs who, while they enjoy the lure of entering that Little Space, also find that their adult minds get off on it.

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Do all ABs go into little space? I have never actually experienced what many would call "little space" ... rather for me it's more like my personality itself has characteristics of being little. I like bottles, pacifier, plushies, sippy cups .. etc. But it's not an on and off thing for me. Just like me liking video games isn't an on and off thing for me.

And to reiterate: there's nothing wrong with getting a sexual turn-on from any of this. It's a kink like any other kink. Who cares? So whatever generalization might be drawn is utterly non-judgemental.

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Yes, but when you state most don't do something, it can feel judgemental no matter how you put it. It can make it feel like that behavior is being singled out for not being usual.

kerry said:

\But I generalized from what I have read in posts and what I understood/understand to be the case: ABs as a whole are not in this for the sexual release;

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I think one's perceptions of common sentiment can be strongly influenced by one's own perspectives. Confirmation bias I believe it's called.

For what it's worth, the one survey I know of suggests that for the large majority of self identifying ABs diapers *are* arousing, and for at least half sexual release is actually a component.

In a survey by BitterGrey, approximately 23% of the sample size reported being equally "AB" and "DL", and, collectively, approximately 81% of the participants reported being, at least in part, both "AB" and "DL". In addition to this, when asked “Are Diapers Sexually Arousing?", the figures for those who answered "yes" were 90-95% for "DL", 95-100% for "Mostly DL", 95-100% for "Equal", 85-90% for "Mostly AB", and 75-80% for "AB".

While many adult babies consider themselves to be diaper lovers and most consider diapers to be sexually arousing, most do not like to engage in sexual activities while they are role playing. According to BitterGrey’s survey, between 50 and 55% to keep sexual elements out of role play, regression, and, for some, out of all fantasies, games, and scenes. Another 20 to 25% allow some, if moderated in some way. The remaining 20 to 30% allow unrestricted sexual acts.

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AdorableRabbit said:

I think one's perceptions of common sentiment can be strongly influenced by one's own perspectives. Confirmation bias I believe it's called.

For what it's worth, the one survey I know of suggests that for the large majority of self identifying ABs diapers *are* arousing, and for at least half sexual release is actually a component.

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Ahh, Thanks for the information =^.^=.

MarchinBunny said:

Ahh, Thanks for the information =^.^=.

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Although I'm too lazy to track them down, my recollection is that all our polling indicates that most of us find it at least a little bit sexual. That matches with BitterGrey's polling and my own observations. I've met a few people who say it's not sexual at all and they don't appear repressed or uncomfortable. The rest of the ABDL world likes to get off now and again with diapers. I like it a lot.

MarchinBunny said:

I could say it's not sexual for me as an adult baby but is sexual for me as a diaper lover ... but think about how little that makes sense as they overlap significantly. Doesn't that just mean, it's sexual? Just not all the time? Also, if being a diaper lover isn't always sexual ... then doesn't that make all ABs who like diapers also DLs? I know not all DLs are ABs though. But then ... at what point does a DL fit into the category of an AB? If they like pacifiers ... is that enoug

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This is exactly my case. I'm both AB and DL. There are times I don't act on wearing diapers in a sexual way, and it's simply a psychological comfort to be in diapers, wet or dry. But then there are times when it is a sexual turn on and for the most part, I'm not doing anything different. I'm wearing diapers.

There is a lot we don't know about Infantalism. We don't know the numbers, how many AB/DLs there are, how many males, how many females? We don't know what even causes it though we have theories. We don't know who is being truthful and who isn't. Sometimes we don't even know if we are being truthful with ourselves, because our own emotions and drives can change because of a variety of influences, time of year, nutrition, hormones, and the list goes on.

Anyway, kudos to the store owner for advancing our cause and for supplying products that otherwise, could be near impossible to obtain. Adult baby diapers were unheard of before the internet. That's why many of us older members when we were young, had to make our own makeshift diapers.

dogboy said:

Anyway, kudos to the store owner for advancing our cause and for supplying products that otherwise, could be near impossible to obtain. Adult baby diapers were unheard of before the internet. That's why many of us older members when we were young, had to make our own makeshift diapers.

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Seriously it's a golden age man!

I mean, Wallgreen plastic briefs were the height of my desire when I started. I thought it was an amazing idea to doodle on em with a marker or to put stickers on them to increase the babyness! ^_^

Yeah its not really an out of the way place my younger brother doesn't live to far from the place , I do know the windows are blocked and it says open by appointment only by the door , but it's not a top secret location , they road out the storm of angry NIMBY protesters, who went and complained to city council and we're told get a life deal with it , there are no laws being broken, someone actually suggested that a protester go in and get some to go with there tantrum , but people have pretty much chilled out about it . Huff post might whip that frenzy up again , I hope not

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I don't mean to suggest that diapers are not a turn-on for many people in the AB/DL world. I was trying to point out that one distinguishing feature between AB and DL is that the AB, seeking to role play as a baby, is not generally out to create a sexual moment. Of course, as diapers themselves are fetish objects for (I'll risk and say most) people here, wearing/using them will always involve some potential for arousal.

Anyway, this is all a lot of ado about very little. We are all in this together no matter what labels we take on.

Note said:

Always find it amusing how people make the association that because you're into one area of ABDL for sexually explicit reasons, every other area must be for the same reason too. It's even more amusing when those in the culture make the same association. X does not always apply to y and z...

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Someone mentioned confirmation bias above (the tendency to look for evidence fitting your own theories). I think it's actually pretty simple, and it provides the root cause of all prejudice: we all understand life according to our own natures and experiences and perforce filter the experiences of others, especially when they seem similar to ones we have had, through what we know. Now, if we think about this for more than a second, we should realize how utterly ridiculous and self-contradictory it is (if everyone's experiences are uniquely their own, how can mine be used to assume what theirs are like?) but the problem is that most people, sure that they understand something from having experienced it in some form, don't bother thinking it through at all.

Thus we have, among many other things:

• people who think they know more about education than teachers because they have been to school and recall a few poor teachers
• radical lesbians who refuse to acknowledge trans women as women because they did not have the experience of growing up female (as if that experience is the same universally and as if many trans women didn't completely lack "male privilege" in their former lives)
• successful people who can't understand why everyone can't succeed if they simply "work hard"
• straight people who fear or hate gay or trans people because the notion of being gay or trans is so far outside of their own experiences as to be disgusting
• people who hate people of other cultures or religions because they can't trust what they don't understand
• trans people who knew of their gender identity from birth and don't understand it when they hear of trans people "figuring out" theirs later in life...or...trans people who transition young because they can't do anything else and can't figure out how any trans person could ever live as their assigned-at-birth sex for 30, 40, 50 years
• ABDLs who only experience this community from their own unique perspective and therefore assume that it's the same for all others
• and lots and lots of other examples

Note I did not use any racial examples. Race, I think, is not included here. Racial prejudice is in its own special category, not based on life experience and confirmation bias at all, but on ego and perceived superiority and God complex. And asshole complex, to be blunt.

Anyway, that's my perspective. Yours may differ, but I have not lived in your shoes.

Just to be clear, I was actually agreeing with you, as I agree with the above too.

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This is so confusing >.< ... what exactly do you agree with?
You made a statement that disagrees with her original point, just so you know. Then you said you agree with her, and the above too. Which of the posts do you agree with. All of them? Did you read everything?

Do you disagree with what I said?

Note said:

No, not really. Never made the assertion that ABDL can't be one or the other, just that I find it amusing that some believe it can only be one thing, which, as we both know is not the case.

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The issue I am having understanding you is exactly what your post was in response to. XD Sorry, im just so confused. Like who in this thread said that?

I also didn't like the separate category for autistic spectrum. That implies they don't have the same needs as other ABDLs. I also didn't like when he said most of us don't use our diapers fully. I do. I thought lot of ABDLs did. I know not all of them mess and some just wear them and seldom wet in them. But I actually enjoy wearing and using them.

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MarchinBunny said:

I don't think I can necessarily agree with that statement. I can't say it's wrong, but I also can't say it's right either. Not only do we have no clue how many AB/DL there actually are, we also have no clue how many are involved in it that get turned on by it. Also, you have to consider there are likely tons of people who claim they are not sexually turned on by it, but indeed are. I imagine it's got to be a pretty common lie in this community, similarly to how many like to say they are incontinence when they really are not. There is no way to point out who is and who isn't lying, but I can say with certainty it does occur. I don't know how often it occurs, but it for sure does.

When you don't actually know something, it's best not to make a generalization on behalf of the entire community.

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I didn't know I was turned on by it until I met my ex and I thought he was full of it and then I met my husband and he said that same so it must be true. Though I don't do it the way it's done in ABDL ebooks which is more about BDSM and control than about daddy and little girl stuff. I guess one way of finding out if it's sexual or not is if you would want your parents to change you and if you would mind it and does it creep you out when you imagine it, if so then yes it's sexual. If you cannot imagine being taken care of by someone who is the same gender as you, then another hint it's sexual. Though if you are bisexual then it might be harder to tell. If you're asexual, same. But just think of your siblings and your relatives or anyone you know to change you and if that creeps you out, it might be sexual for you. This is what my husband told me.