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Thread: AB/DL Curiosity

  1. #1

    Default AB/DL Curiosity

    Greetings, my name is Emily.

    I have come here seeking clarification, support and perhaps, even some advice. I am unsure how this whole thing started for me, but I have been very confused and torn about it. Since I was very young, I have had a deep desire to wear diapers; especially now, in my adult years. I find myself becoming immediately aroused by simply thinking about diapers; even looking at them will trigger a warm, comfortable feeling followed by sexual arousal. I've always thought I was crazy and that there was something severely wrong with me. Sometimes, I pray for forgiveness after I act on my impulses because I feel sick and demented, afterwards. I feel like a pedophile or a pervert; I tell myself that this behavior is abnormal and that I should turn away from it.

    However, as of a few months ago, I discovered that I am, in fact, not the only one who has a "diaper fetish." I began doing some light research and watched some AB/DL videos and did some online window-shopping for adult baby diapers. Eventually, I found myself here; in your forum. What I seek from all of you is some answers and understanding; maybe you could share your past experiences with me or how you discovered that you enjoyed wearing diapers. I'd also like to know what brands are good, prices and sizing as I am entirely new to this.

  2. #2

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    Greetings and welcome!

    As you have found, you are NOT alone. So many of us have felt (and posted) every word you have expressed. Allow yourself to stop thinking those things; they will never help you, nor will they force these feelings and desires away. They just won't.

    There is a lot for you to read here. Use the search function, and settle in for much discovery. We are happy to have you!

    Blessings and positive thoughts to you

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xzanza View Post
    I've always thought I was crazy and that there was something severely wrong with me.
    To be clear, just because you're far from alone doesn't mean you're not crazy. :-)

    Yes, this is odd. We all know it's odd, and you will likely have reminders throughout your journey that no matter how used to it you are, others will see it as gross, sick, and even perverted.

    But make no mistake, there is nothing wrong with wearing and even using diapers as long as it doesn't prevent you from leading the healthy life you want to lead. What you do in your own home is no one's business but yours. Period.

    I struggle to understand those who feel that what they do in private is a sin, as though any god would care what you do with the sexuality S/HE gave you. You are a product of a million influences outside of your control. You can fight your nature if you want to, but it will only leave you exhausted and unfulfilled. Wear diapers, don't wear diapers--it's up to you and you alone. No god and no person should care . . . until they are affected. Choose carefully those you would invite into this world. Many will not understand and, far worse, many will misunderstand.

    -RMS

  4. #4

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    Emily, welcome to ADISC. You'll find ADISC is a safe place for you to begin to understand these feelings and yourself.

    We've all been where you are today. It's been a long time since I've had those feelings but I remember them distinctly. The feeling of disgust. The feeling that there's something wrong with you. Well, there's noting wrong with you. And you're not alone.

    This is a harmless fetish. You're not hurting anyone and you're not hurting yourself. Fetishes are very common. Some people even believe that everyone has them to one degree or another. But I can assure you that these negative feelings will fade in time.

    Some people also believe that you can cure a fetish. I don't think so. The key to living with this fetish is accepting it as part of who you are. Many of us fight this for years.
    Last edited by tickles51; 21-Mar-2017 at 00:02.

  5. #5

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    Hi Emily and welcome to the site. Don't panic, but you might be asked to make an introduction in the Introduction forum. You could almost copy and paste your thread and you'd be good to go. I think making the intro keeps you as an active member being able to post and receive PMs, etc.

    Anyway, to your question. I'm a church music director and I've made peace with God. I think it's a lot more important as to how you live the rest of your life outside of diapers. The important thing is that there is a time and place for all things, a time to give and a time to receive. I try to help others. I give to charities and to my church, and I wear diapers at night where it really affects no one except myself, and wearing gives me a sense of peace.

    Wikipedia has a very good article of Infantalism and Love Mapping. I think it explains why we are attracted to diapers, things related to being a baby and regression. My mom sent me to a psychiatrist when she discovered my "stuff" and nothing said or done took the desires away, and that was many years ago. The most important thing is self acceptance. There can be problems when dating and getting serious, but many of us have worked this out. My wife is very accepting. It's all a matter of perspective.

  6. #6

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    Welcome to ADISC. You certainly don't have to worry about having those feelings. I think most ABDLs go through a period of denial, guilt, and shame before coming to terms with the fact that they have a diaper fetish. Many people here, myself included, have struggled with thoughts of being sick and demented, like the ones you mentioned. Most people have a different story of how they figured out they liked diapers. I'm not sure exactly how I came to like diapers, but I knew it started with several years in denial, and several more years trying to suppress those desires and rid myself of the urges (Spoiler alert. You can't cure yourself of being an ABDL. You can't get rid of these desires). Finding sites like this, realizing I wasn't alone, and eventually meeting up with other ABDLs is what got me to get over the shame that was so long associated with this fetish.

    The best brand I'd say is ABUniverse. They're more expensive than Depends or the crappy brands you'd get from a drug store. But they're also far better and you get what you pay for. As for sizing, it all depends on your waist size. Most sites that sell ABDL diapers will have sizing charts that show which size is good based on your waist size.

  7. #7

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    Personally, I'm fully at peace with myself and God over my fetish. My paranoia entirely revolves around how other people will perceive me if they find out or begin to suspect. I'm still working up the courage to order diapers online since I don't live alone and the though of someone else opening the box or even just asking nosy questions terrifies me.

  8. #8

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    Hi Emily,

    You are definitely not the only one, you are definitely warmly welcomed here and absolutely accepted for loving diapers.

    As for brands, definitely you are in the most exciting time for ABDLs, we have a wide range of ABDL Diapers tailored for us, my personal favourite is ABU (Adult Baby Univers) SDK (Super Dry Kids currently version 2) which sport a single larger tab per side very reminiscent of vintage Pampers. While they may not not be cheap they are gorgeous, exceedingly comfortable and very absorbent making them great value to use.

    Most people here and the companies supplying tend to recommend sample packs if you are not sure on sizing or fit (not all diapees fit all people the same even using the measurement guide) but you might be able to get a reasonable idea of your size from cheaper easy obtain store bought adult diapers.

    Big hug and welcome.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xzanza View Post
    maybe you could share your past experiences with me or how you discovered that you enjoyed wearing diapers.
    I'm very similar to you in that I had a desire to wear diapers from a very early age (one of my earliest memories is my mom offering my a choice between a pull-up or underwear and me pointing at the pull-up). I had a bunch of instances all through childhood of trying to wear diapers/pullups that I found in the house, and once those all disappeared, trying to make my own makeshift ones from plastic bags and towels. It wasn't until I was 19 or so that I decided to google it, and even then my reaction was "wtf? how could someone be so weird they like diapers?". It actually took a year or so for me to come to terms with the fact that I was also one of those weird people.



    Quote Originally Posted by Xzanza View Post
    Sometimes, I pray for forgiveness after I act on my impulses because I feel sick and demented, afterwards. I feel like a pedophile or a pervert
    That's actually a pretty common for a lot of people to the point that it has a name: the binge/purge cycle. Then as far as feeling like a pedophile goes, the overwhelming majority of the community tries to make it clear that none of this has anything to do with actual children. As far as feeling like a "pervert", I think about it like this: everyone is attracted to something weird, it's just that some peoples attractions are more uncommon than others. For the majority of baseline "vanilla" humans, they're attracted to genitals of the opposite gender (which is kinda weird if you think about it enough in a detached sort of way. I mean, that's where waste comes out of and stuff, gross!). Then there are other people where that switch got flipped from "genitals" to "butts" or "legs", etc. all the way into the entire spectrum of fetishes, including diapers.

    Another thing that you might find helpful is that all of the current psychology literature defines this as a fetish, and sees fetishes as completely harmless as long as they're not interfering with your daily life or causing physical harm. Your kinks don't have to define you, and ABDL isn't an all or nothing thing. You're completely free to participate in as many or as few aspects of it as you want.



    Quote Originally Posted by Xzanza View Post
    I'd also like to know what brands are good, prices and sizing as I am entirely new to this.
    As far as pricing goes, expect to pay between $1 and $2 per diaper (case prices) for the good ones.

    As far as brands go, ABU is pretty much the go-to for ABDL diapers. Personally I like the medical ones a little better (they're cheaper and I can wear them under clothes without it being obvious). Pretty much anything carried by XP medical ( https://www.xpmedical.com/ ) won't be disappointing. Northshore care ( http://www.northshorecare.com/ ) has a slightly bigger selection, but also a few of the more generic brands that aren't much better than you'd find at a drugstore.

    Then for sizing, xpmedical has a sizing chart that's been pretty accurate for me in the past: https://www.xpmedical.com/sizing If you've got specific questions about it I'm sure I or someone else can give you actual measurements or firsthand anecdotes.

  10. #10

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    Your misconceptions are WAY more common than you might think. The biggest of all, it is NOT a fetish if this has been with you since an early age.

    Being an abdl goes much deeper, and is an ingrained compulsory part of who we are. It is not illegal, immoral, or even something to be ashamed of. It.is.to be embraced though.

    Being aroused by diapers is also quite common too. The more you embrace this, the closer you'll be to having a diaper fetish. This isn't bad though. On the other hand though, you can overcome always being aroused by them by wearing more often when you're not aroused.

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