Shy, doing this because I have to

Hey everyone, today I got a message that I'm not welcome here if I keep quiet, the way I do in real life. My name's Taylor, I am an ABDL living in Charleston, SC. I've enjoyed ABDL lifestyle since age 5, before I even knew what being aroused was. I'm not very enthused with myself, which is why I haven't posted here yet, I don't want to come off as a narcissist. I really don't know how to talk about myself, I paint, animate and build, but I work retail and none of the things I love doing will ever earn me a living. I have given up all hope of finding a girlfriend, kinky or vanilla, and frankly I wouldn't trust the kind of person who thinks I'm a friend worth having. There you have it, I'm a self-loathing wreck, and I deeply fear all people, especially the ones I love. I don't know why anyone would want to talk to me, but I had to post otherwise I'd lose my account today...

Hey Snowman - I can relate to your feelings of self-loathing... and how uncomfortable it can be to feel forced into a situation where you must introduce yourself. I hope you find solace in your membership on ADISC, even if you choose to hang back and observe for a bit. I go through spurts were I post, then lose interest and go dark for a bit... Seems pretty standard around here. What I have learned, as is true with most online communities, you get what you put into it.

May I ask – What sort of subjects do you enjoy painting, animating and building?

I feel for ya Snow; having the same condition. I too knew, except at age 4, that this desire wasn't going away and knew THEN that i would be dealing with it when i grew up.
Depression and self-loathing do seem to accompany infantilsm now and again so BELIEVE me your not alone.
I guess all i can say is try and find happiness from within because we'll never find true happiness from people, places, or things-only temporary, fleeting pleasures that always go away.
But yeah, it can get rough sometimes. It's extremely difficult for me finding good friends also, but in my case it's because i live in a crappy area.

Keep your chin up-the best is yet to come!

Sent from my KYOCERA-C6742 using Tapatalk

I don't know why anyone would want to talk to me

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"don't sell yourself short" probably the best advice I've ever been told, this is a place full of people who are more than willing to talk to you no matter how different you are. I dont mean to sound like I know what your life is like because the fact is that I dont, but i am autistic and i can relate with your fear of all people including loved ones, i work retail too coincidentally. but dont beat yourself up, life hurts enough already. no need to add to it.

I'm not going to pretend that I understand what it's like to feel true self loathing, because I don't. What I do understand is being shy, have been (and honestly still am) since as long as I can remember. I know how difficult it is to talk about yourself, my mind immediately jumps to the negatives, what I'm not. I'm not sporty, I'm not practical, I'm not even really that smart. You just have to focus on the positives. No matter how little you may feel that they're worth, there are many that will say otherwise.