I've been keeping a journal for the past four years, and as I've progressed further down the ABDL road, changes in my journal have helped me reach toward my little space. One change I've made is dropping any reference to voluntary wetting, and referring to wetting my diapers as something that just happens, sometimes at night, so I wake up wet. Having been only half awake when I've wet in the night makes my memory vague and enhances the feeling that it happened in my sleep. I have also stopped writing that I put on a diaper or changed myself. I now write that mommy changes me, although she is imaginary. My opportunities to enter little space come about once a week, normally on Sundays, and if I can't go there at least that often I feel deprived. But I can write in my journal, and since I wear a pull-up all the time I can wet myself at night anytime as long as I'm careful not to wet the bed. I keep my pacifier in the headboard and often sleep with it in my mouth. My bedside water is in a baby bottle. Journaling helps me to regard all this as normal and I don't judge myself harshly. And this forum has helped me a great deal, so thank you all.