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Thread: Help.....

  1. #1

    Default Help.....

    Yesterday morning my fiancée found out I had kik that was linked to my abdl side which she knows about because we met through fetlife so we're both into kink and fetish stuff....we've had so many ups and downs with my abdl side because my little side is so selfish and uncontrollably doesn't think about her but my normal side I always put her first....

    To get a control of my little side how do I do that...do I need professional help in a kink friendly therapist or do I try cope on my own.....

    Has anybody had this?

  2. #2

    Default

    If you can transition into your little self on command, it might be worth it to look into kink friendly therapists that have experience with age play. Or a link friendly therapist who is a child therapist. Or you could try a kink friendly family therapist. I'm not sure what's available to you in your area.

    Hope this helps!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #3

    Default

    the following, is my personal opinion.

    First off, welcome to Adisc, I'm sorry that you are having trouble balancing your little side and your relationship, honesty is really the key to making any relationship work, that and communication and compromise.


    There are relationships, in which those involved feel that there is something missing, that they yearn for, or crave. for whatever reason these individuals, need something that their partner is either unable, or unwilling to provide.

    so..what to do? do we look for fulfillment outside of our relationship?

    sometimes, but not without taking the proper steps first. For instance:

    Have you talked with your partner, about what you feel you are missing? or why you feel the need to experience a certain head space?

    Has your partner, expressed something to you, that you are unable or unwilling to provide to them?

    Have you agreed to an open relationship with your partner, letting them know that you are looking outside of the relationship for fulfillment? have you agreed that both parties may do so under certain conditions?


    If you have not talked about any of these topics, you are being deceitful, both to yourself, and to your partner. to your partner, by seeking fufillment outside the relationship, and to yourself by shifting responsibility of your actions to your "little side". It is exciting to live our lives and experience our fantasies exactly how we picture them. the reality of life is unfortunately, and as unromantic as it may be at times, that in order to act out our fantasies we need to discuss these things and our needs and the reasoning behind our needs with those we wish to participate.


    If you have reached out to someone else to fulfill your needs, without discussing and sharing yourself with your partner, and them being ok with it, your "little side" has become unhealthy and is overriding your responsibilities as an adult.

    Expect a two way street, you may get what you bargained for and more, for better or worse....Please talk with your fiancée, as blushy as it may be, or as unromantic as it may be, dig deep and explain yourself, take responsibility for your actions, ask her if she feels fulfilled in her needs, after all you said you met on fetlife.


    Now to tackle the issue at hand, you and your fiancée, will need to work together to address your little side. 100% honesty and transparency. the difference between the two? honesty is not lieing, transparency, is not withholding information to avoid lieing or lieing by omission.

    to give you a rough idea, stealing a cookie, or spilling some juice, is totally blamable on your little side, abandoning or shutting out your fiancée, without talking with her first, is not a little issue, its an adult you issue.



    Quote Originally Posted by Paddedbum89 View Post

    Has anybody had this?


    I have tried it, we both have compromised so far and things are working out, being respectful of each others needs. I am sure the two of you will be able to work this out if you spend some time and listen to each other and communicate your needs.

    Please keep us updated
    Last edited by MommyandMattling; 10-Mar-2017 at 17:24.

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