new issues...at least for me

I've had several significant scares recently.

In no way am I bowel incontinent, but due (I hope) to a series of illnesses I've found myself on quite a few occasions facing sudden and urgent needs to void them. As I am at present fairly inert (I hibernate in winter), I'm usually only yards from a bathroom. Still, there were a couple of times when I barely made it.

I'm not at all looking forward to any time when I don't.

Some days I sit on the toilet for an hour just to make sure I'm OK and I am still pretty certain when I leave that I am not.

About fifteen years ago, because I went to see her for help in determining what was causing some minor anal leakage–not enough to discolor my undies but enough to make me need almost continual wiping if I didn't want to itch like crazy all day–my doctor did list me as having fecal incontinence. I thought that was a pretty severe overstatement of the case. (And remember this is more than a decade before I actually became IC.) For no reason at all, the issue resolved itself after about a year; neither I nor my doctor could figure out why. But every time I see her I see that old notation on her chart.

I do not want it to become true.

Bladder incontinence is hard enough, thank you. I have nothing but respect for those of you who have to deal with the other every day. Despite lengthy conversations with some of you, I have no idea how you do it. I don't know if I could. I hope I never have to find out, but these last couple of weeks have been very disconcerting.

Sometimes even I don't know how I'm okay with it sometimes, just power through the clean up (usually the worst part of it), it's pretty bad but what else is there to do..... It does get me down occasionally, you know that .....
Anyway I hope you get better

Yeah I don't think I could handle having it more often than I do. I get the constant wiping but, and every few days I'll have a small "crackful" come out that I can't hold before getting g on a toilet but full explosions for me are thankfully only like once a month. But I still wear 24/7 because the crackfuls are still enough to go through regular underwear and pants and they're super unpredictable. Can be between minutes to hours after a meal.

Believe me Kerry, a person can adapt to things they never thought possible, life changes on s dime and your only choice is adapt or die , most people adapt , I am not saying any of us like it or would choose it if given the choice.

AB is not just adult baby we the disabled refer to able bodied the same way as AB , it always is a question amongst the able bodied how we do "X" or "Y" without much problem , many of my friends have encouraged me to right a book that might help people understand it , I tell them all the same thing , no able bodied person is going to ever understand unless it happens to them , but once you cross over from able bodied there really is no going back , every new person in the community goes from wondering how we do it and how we cope to doing it themselves , they also lose the hunger for answering that question .

Things can completely devastate what you thought was life,then something happens and your "new normal" is something you once thought impossible .if we succumbed to the "tides of life" man would be extinct many generations ago.

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Life certainly can throw monkey wrenches at us. If it's leakage, I wonder if the intestines/bowel, are having a problem breaking down fats? Certain cholesterol medications might contribute to this? I went through this for a period of time and then it simply went away. I have no idea why it came in the first place, unless my body was getting used to the statin I was prescribed.

Bowel incontinence is the pits. I don't mind urinary so much.

Been there done that (and still am there). Do what my proctologist told me to do.

Several times throughout the day (whenever), clench your anal muscles as tight as you can- for ten seconds.

Over the course of a few months you will notice your muscles strengthen enough so you can still hold it till you make it to the toilet. Unfortunately this won't get rid of that sudden bowel urge, but it will help greatly with those close calls, daily residue problem, and constant wiping after going.

At least it has for me. Oh, and sorry but you may need to do this for the rest of your life or your muscles might revert back to being too weak (which happened to me).

Thanks. I'll try that. Had another close call today: sudden urge out of nowhere when I was ten yards from bathroom. Made it fine, but started popping as soon as I sat down. The whole thing is pretty shitty, if you don't mind the pun.

Weird thing in my little universe: I had all of those leakage issues fifteen years ago, but in the last several years I find there has hardly ever been any residue remaining after a BM unless it's a particularly squishy one. Normal ones just come out...and wiping reveals pretty much...nothing.

And, OK, another embarrassing thing (though why I should think this more embarrassing than potential messing accidents I don't know):

For the last few years, getting progressively worse, I have been unable to stop myself from passing gas. Often loudly. I was lucky the diaper muffled it when it happened in class (though at first, back when it started, they were often much quieter). I was also lucky that it has been, oddly, 100% odorless. I have no clue why. I can't control it; I've tried. If I manage to suppress one, it simply comes back double a moment later and I have to let it out.

Does this happen to anyone else? Is it connected in some way or is it some idiosyncratic thing that I'm just lucky enough to be dealing with on top of incontinence?

Hi Kerry, sorry to hear this. I read the advice and out of interest had a little look for myself. I have no idea if this is useful but it makes for an interesting read.

http://api.gp.northumbria.nhs.uk/up...therapy/External_Anal_Sphincter_Exercises.PDF

kerry said:

Thanks. I'll try that. Had another close call today: sudden urge out of nowhere when I was ten yards from bathroom. Made it fine, but started popping as soon as I sat down. The whole thing is pretty shitty, if you don't mind the pun.

Weird thing in my little universe: I had all of those leakage issues fifteen years ago, but in the last several years I find there has hardly ever been any residue remaining after a BM unless it's a particularly squishy one. Normal ones just come out...and wiping reveals pretty much...nothing.

And, OK, another embarrassing thing (though why I should think this more embarrassing than potential messing accidents I don't know):

For the last few years, getting progressively worse, I have been unable to stop myself from passing gas. Often loudly. I was lucky the diaper muffled it when it happened in class (though at first, back when it started, they were often much quieter). I was also lucky that it has been, oddly, 100% odorless. I have no clue why. I can't control it; I've tried. If I manage to suppress one, it simply comes back double a moment later and I have to let it out.

Does this happen to anyone else? Is it connected in some way or is it some idiosyncratic thing that I'm just lucky enough to be dealing with on top of incontinence?

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Yup, same again. Strengthening my muscles back there also helped with that too. I still have a really hard time holding back gas, but often I can hold it just long enough to excuse myself or end a conversation and walk away. Most other times there's really no point in my trying to hold one back. Like you said, it just comes back stronger a few minutes later.

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MotherFaith said:

Hi Kerry, sorry to hear this. I read the advice and out of interest had a little look for myself. I have no idea if this is useful but it makes for an interesting read.

http://api.gp.northumbria.nhs.uk/up...therapy/External_Anal_Sphincter_Exercises.PDF

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That's about right. The basics of it is to just squeeze and tighten your muscles back there as tight as you can, for 10 seconds. There's a few more variations to this than what I was told to do, BUTT it's all good in the END.......

Have you ever been evaluated for a food intolerance , that could be the gas problem most frequently seen in people whose bowel does not like lactose in milk or dairy foods , and believe me lactose can be vicious stuff they remove it from dome milk like lact aid and they form a synthetic sugar called Lactulose it can for some people with high ammonia levels in the blood be taken orally but you will 100 % no doubt wear diapers because it will cause you to soil yourself , they also give it PR (per rectum ) as a retention enema if your ammonia gets to high and you are borderline unconscious 300 ml mixed with 700 ml of water, it until just recently was the goto treatment for opiate induced constipation and also to young school age children scared of the toilet it's swat like sugar so they like taking it , give it to a child prior to breakfast and by lunch time they will need to go , the more you ignore the urge the stronger it gets until the child either goes to the toilet or soils themselves , it may happen 1 or 2 times before the child learns to go and then you can taper them off , anyway that's just one of the food inttolerances that will give you gas, out of the many , easiest way to figure it out is by the elimination diet stop eating a certain food every week until the gas stops and whatever you gave up for that week you eat very little of in the future , it could be milk, cheese, rice, wheat, soy, barley , corn ,legumes, gluten, those are the biggest offenders in some people eggs can do that to a lesser extent as well as bananas and some other fruits and nuts , I hope I didn't scare you , the elimination diet is actually pretty easy and fool proof as long as it's a singular food substance, if it's multiple it can take months of tinkering with your dietary intake . To find the offending foods .

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Tetra said:

Have you ever been evaluated for a food intolerance , that could be the gas problem most frequently seen in people whose bowel does not like lactose in milk or dairy foods , and believe me lactose can be vicious stuff they remove it from dome milk like lact aid and they form a synthetic sugar called Lactulose it can for some people with high ammonia levels in the blood be taken orally but you will 100 % no doubt wear diapers because it will cause you to soil yourself

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Well, since I'm IC, I do already wear diapers. But I think I can handle the gas better than soiling myself...

Tetra said:

anyway that's just one of the food inttolerances that will give you gas, out of the many , easiest way to figure it out is by the elimination diet stop eating a certain food every week until the gas stops and whatever you gave up for that week you eat very little of in the future , it could be milk, cheese, rice, wheat, soy, barley , corn ,legumes, gluten, those are the biggest offenders in some people eggs can do that to a lesser extent as well as bananas and some other fruits and nuts , I hope I didn't scare you , the elimination diet is actually pretty easy and fool proof as long as it's a singular food substance, if it's multiple it can take months of tinkering with your dietary intake . To find the offending foods .

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That sounds like a thing I could do...

kerry said:

Well, since I'm IC, I do already wear diapers. But I think I can handle the gas better than soiling myself...



That sounds like a thing I could do...

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Yeah I have a very special friend who is intolerant to do much that when I bitch about food bulked up with wood pulp she says "don't knock sawdust till you try it " , the woman Is priceless to me, my closest friend in the world , she will actually be handling my estate when I die , and is also my DPOA for medical decisions if I can't do it myself . My late mother set us up , then I pushed her away so she would find a real man that could be at home with her to love and support her , things I could not provide aside from love but I wanted her to have more than that ,she did finally move on and found a wonderfull guy who she married and we are all best of friends, probably the only man who knows we were lovers ,and has no problem with it , he even had to keep checking with me if he could pop the question , I did not want him to do it before I new she would say yes . Anyway if you try the diet let me know what you find or if you need any help .

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I tried the elimination diet before too. It turned out my diet had nothing to do with my anal sphincter being weak.

Now eliminating a bunch of crap from my diet did help improve my overall health some, and did reduce the amount of gas I had. However, gas still happenes so I was still always having a hard time holding it back.

bowel accidents at their best are a major inconvenience, to go about life you have to make pit stops comparable to the ones in a nasscar race (get in get out after cleaning and swapping). Some days its just a major headache, hopefully it doesn't get any worse. but before it does if it does, the best advice I have... let it happen at least once when you are at home, this way you can get an idea how to deal with it, use only the items in your travel diaper bag and avoid showering if at all possible for this... this will give you an idea of what you are in for, as others have said though, finding your "timebomb foods" can help... also fiber makes if nothing else messy diaper changes more manageble, also chlorophyll helps the odors if you notice it frequently being bad.

I've been having similar BM issues recently, and it really sucks. I stopped wetting the bed after high school and started experiencing urge (and slight stress) incontinence around the same time. I was able to manage it with guards/pads and frequent restroom visits for nearly two years, but my condition worsened considerably over the summer and in July I switched to pull-ups for daytime use. By Halloween I'd basically given up on trying to urinate in the toilet between changes, and by Thanksgiving I was starting to wet the bed again… met with urologist, insurance agreed to pay for diapers (Merry Christmas?) and so I've been wearing plastic-backed Attends for about twelve weeks, day and night.

Before I started wearing diapers, I had small, frequent and unpredictable bowel movements… anywhere from 3-7 times a day. And since I was in pull-ups, using the toilet wasn't an issue. Diapers are obviously much more of a hassle to take off and put back on, so I've been practicing "holding it" until I can use the toilet during my next stall change… I've messed myself a few times at home (while working outside) rather than "waste" a diaper if I'm wearing a Tena Overnight pad as a stuffer to get an extra few hours between changes, but for the most part controlling my bowel movements hasn't been a problem.

The problem is mornings. For about three weeks now, I've woken up almost every morning with a very intense, very urgent need to have a BM. Not like "I should probably do that before I brush my teeth" --- more like I messed myself twice last week within a few seconds of waking up. The other days I either made it to the toilet just in time or ended up messing myself as I tried to undo the tapes. I'm used to waking up wet, and I've been changing out of a wet diaper every morning for years. But having to clean this up almost every day just plain sucks. My girlfriend has always been understanding of my bladder issues, but I can sense her frustration with this… and with me. I think she was trying not to cry over breakfast the first morning it happened, and I noticed she's been setting her alarm earlier than mine, and opening the bedroom window and turning on the ceiling fan before I wake up. She uses the guest bathroom to get ready now, since the bathroom in our bedroom is what she calls my "area". It's really starting to depress me, and I'm not sure what I can do about it. I've tried some of the exercises mentioned here, but I don't have any problems during the rest of the day… only when I first wake up. Is this just my body adjusting, or could there be something else going on? I plan on asking my doctor, but he'll probably just schedule something with the urologist, and I'm not sure what she'll say. Even so, it's over a month until my next appointment, so hopefully there's something I can do until then? The most frustrating part of all is that if I had an extra fifteen seconds after waking up to get to the bathroom this entire issue would be nonexistent :/

inconsurferdude said:

The problem is mornings. For about three weeks now, I've woken up almost every morning with a very intense, very urgent need to have a BM. Not like "I should probably do that before I brush my teeth" --- more like I messed myself twice last week within a few seconds of waking up. The other days I either made it to the toilet just in time or ended up messing myself as I tried to undo the tapes. I'm used to waking up wet, and I've been changing out of a wet diaper every morning for years. But having to clean this up almost every day just plain sucks. My girlfriend has always been understanding of my bladder issues, but I can sense her frustration with this… and with me. I think she was trying not to cry over breakfast the first morning it happened, and I noticed she's been setting her alarm earlier than mine, and opening the bedroom window and turning on the ceiling fan before I wake up. She uses the guest bathroom to get ready now, since the bathroom in our bedroom is what she calls my "area". It's really starting to depress me, and I'm not sure what I can do about it. I've tried some of the exercises mentioned here, but I don't have any problems during the rest of the day… only when I first wake up. Is this just my body adjusting, or could there be something else going on? I plan on asking my doctor, but he'll probably just schedule something with the urologist, and I'm not sure what she'll say. Even so, it's over a month until my next appointment, so hopefully there's something I can do until then? The most frustrating part of all is that if I had an extra fifteen seconds after waking up to get to the bathroom this entire issue would be nonexistent :/

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I totally feel your pain, I deal with having to do a clean up everyday and the fact that I have wet the diaper too is really depressing sometimes, only difference is I have a bowel accident during the night and I don't wake up for it.....I can't imagine how you feel for a person who's you share the bed with..... I usually have a routine, I get up early to clean up and change, because it's so unpredictable I don't know what time during my sleep it happens,
I've had this my whole life so I'm pretty used to dealing with it though it still gets me down sometimes, I can't imagine how it is dealing with it first time.

miapeters said:

I've had this my whole life so I'm pretty used to dealing with it though it still gets me down sometimes, I can't imagine how it is dealing with it first time.

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This is actually how I try to think about it… I thought pads were the most embarrassing thing ever, until I had to wear pull-ups… and then that was the most embarrassing thing ever until I started wearing diapers… which was the most embarrassing thing ever until this. It always seems better as you get more used to it, I suppose. Just hoping these bowel issues don't persist… even after these past three weeks, changing a wet diaper now seems WAY better than it did before I started having to change messy ones :/ I'd actually read some of your posts in the past and thought of them last week when I was feeling depressed about a messy morning. It definitely helps knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this

inconsurferdude said:

This is actually how I try to think about it… I thought pads were the most embarrassing thing ever, until I had to wear pull-ups… and then that was the most embarrassing thing ever until I started wearing diapers… which was the most embarrassing thing ever until this. It always seems better as you get more used to it, I suppose. Just hoping these bowel issues don't persist… even after these past three weeks, changing a wet diaper now seems WAY better than it did before I started having to change messy ones :/ I'd actually read some of your posts in the past and thought of them last week when I was feeling depressed about a messy morning. It definitely helps knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this

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I feel the same way, before when I was younger I felt so alone with it and even though my family and the doctors reassured me that there were other people dealing with it I still felt like no one knows how I feel. But of course that's not true and support like this really helps [emoji3]

miapeters said:

I feel the same way, before when I was younger I felt so alone with it

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I can't imagine having to deal with this my entire life. Twice in a week is more than enough. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier to accept if it had always been this way… it's almost worse knowing what it's like to not be incontinent. Before, when I only had wetting issues at night I sometimes looked forward to wearing a diaper… it's only been three months, but being in diapers all the time kind of sucks. If I still had enough control to use the toilet sometimes I'd have stuck with pull-ups. Maybe it's just the Attends that I wear (with tapes that can't be undone) but I feel kind of "trapped" when I put one on… I really don't like wearing them, even though I have to. I wish I could just wear a diaper to bed, or at home alone. Instead of having to wear one in every situation, always