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Thread: 21-Jan-2017 at 23:54

  1. #1

    Default 21-Jan-2017 at 23:54

    That was the last time I visited but, it's been awhile since I posted. This an update/call for advice. So far I'm making a lot of progress in my life. I have a job now, a car, and I even have some diapers to boot. So why does today feel like one of the worst days of my life? I've been happy for months, I mean I really felt good. Perhaps today is just an off day, but I've had suicidal thoughts most of the day. It's not like it used to be where I'd let them ferment into suicidal actions, now I fight them. I'm to a point where I actually do care about myself. I want to live, I want to live life to the fullest. It could be that Michigan has had one of the most odd weather patterns in the past few months I've experienced. Yes, it's normally strange because of all the lakes, but it has been odd weather. Snow, sleet, rain, fog, hot, cold, mild, sunny, cloudy, you name it? We've had it in the last two weeks. I'm thinking that has had an effect on my mood, but it's even more odd because I've been happy throughout that. I'm eating and sleeping better than I used to, so that could be throwing me off, who knows?

    As far as I can tell, I'm still healing over the past 20 years of my life. Traumatic experiences, severe stress, and anxiety... all that junk. I'm doing my best to work through it and turn the pain into creative thinking and actions. I've recently gotten back into my photography and I think that has been helping cope quite a bit. If you can think of some things that would help me find the sources of this, that would be great. My depression has gotten much better, my therapist said it is quite possible my social anxiety does stem from the past. I just hope that I can be okay someday. I'd rather not live the rest of my life feeling this way.

    There are some days that I feel just fine, which is a major improvement.
    Last edited by Premetheus; 01-Mar-2017 at 16:02.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    That was the last time I visited but, it's been awhile since I posted. This an update/call for advice. So far I'm making a lot of progress in my life. I have a job now, a car, and I even have some diapers to boot. So why does today feel like one of the worst days of my life? I've been happy for months, I mean I really felt good. Perhaps today is just an off day, but I've had suicidal thoughts most of the day. It's not like it used to be where I'd let them ferment into suicidal actions, now I fight them. I'm to a point where I actually do care about myself. I want to live, I want to live life to the fullest. It could be that Michigan has had one of the most odd weather patterns in the past few months I've experienced. Yes, it's normally strange because of all the lakes, but it has been odd weather. Snow, sleet, rain, fog, hot, cold, mild, sunny, cloudy, you name it? We've had it in the last two weeks. I'm thinking that has had an effect on my mood, but it's even more odd because I've been happy throughout that. I'm eating and sleeping better than I used to, so that could be throwing me off, who knows?

    As far as I can tell, I'm still healing over the past 20 years of my life. Traumatic experiences, severe stress, and anxiety... all that junk. I'm doing my best to work through it and turn the pain into creative thinking and actions. I've recently gotten back into my photography and I think that has been helping cope quite a bit. If you can think of some things that would help me find the sources of this, that would be great. My depression has gotten much better, my therapist said it is quite possible my social anxiety does stem from the past. I just hope that I can be okay someday. I'd rather not live the rest of my life feeling this way.

    There are some days that I feel just fine, which is a major improvement.
    Please ask your advisor about vitamin D, I get mood swings and sometimes even change in barometer can throw me, but vitamin D got me stable and kept me from having to take Prozac.

    Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk

  3. #3

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    I get mood swings too and yesterday was a down day. I too think the weather has something to do with it. We've had so much warm weather in central Virginia that the cherry trees are in bloom and have been for at least a week. Today I was busy all day and that helped.

    Try to stay positive. I think you've made tremendous progress and I'd hate to see you head in a backward direction. You deserve to be happy.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neags View Post
    Please ask your advisor about vitamin D, I get mood swings and sometimes even change in barometer can throw me, but vitamin D got me stable and kept me from having to take Prozac.
    I will look into it, I see my therapist next Friday. I hope I'll be able to remember to ask about it. I will make a note of it now on a piece of paper just to be sure.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I get mood swings too and yesterday was a down day. I too think the weather has something to do with it. We've had so much warm weather in central Virginia that the cherry trees are in bloom and have been for at least a week. Today I was busy all day and that helped.

    Try to stay positive. I think you've made tremendous progress and I'd hate to see you head in a backward direction. You deserve to be happy.
    Thank you, that's what I'm worried about too is backpeddling. I have been known to self-sabotage myself when things are going too well. I want to be happy but my brain just thinks, "I'm happy! Wait.... why?" and it's downhill from there. I'm working on changing that by thinking better. When I get mad I step back and ask if it's really getting worked up over, most times it isn't. Same with when I feel sad, hurt, or alone. It has begun to help a lot, it can only do so much though. That's what I was thinking, it is probably just the weather, when it is finally Spring, I hope it's nicer weather than this.

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