If you could walk away

Lately, I have started to realize some background about me and my desires. Walking away would also mean losing/erasing the things that caused all of this inside of me. If that would be possible, I would do so instantly. But having these past events not erased from my history or... not having other means to deal with them, giving up my little side would propably kill me. So at the moment, my answer is a strict NO.

I go from yes and no all the time.

The times I would say yes, is when I'm depressed and sad. When I feel like a sick freak and when I read comments of people saying how disgusting we are for what we do.

And times I would say no, well, that's the majority of the time. I would say no when I realise how much this hobby (I can't call it a fetish) means to me. I use it as a coping mechanism to help deal with my disabilities. It's harmless and doesn't hurt anyone (besides my bank account, lol). It makes me happy.

And lately, I'd be much more likely to say no to changing my ABDL side than ever before.

I would say no mainly because I enjoy it, and I invested a lot of time and money into it already. Plus I love my plushies too much. It is part of who I am and there is nothing that is going to change that.

I think that regardless of whether people would give it up given the power to make it disappear from their lives forever would start to miss it at some point thus never truly getting rid of it, personally I went through the purge cycle like a lot of other folk and I deemed the fetish as improper and disgusting until I came to terms with who I am. It's not like we are out causing chaos, committing crimes, or other heinous acts. We are just doing what we love and people should not belittle or demonize us for that.

Sometimes I honestly think, what if we were made this way for a reason what if we are the norm and other people are not, what if society is backwards shaped by humanity and is not natural. Just a thought, but it's food for thought.

Nope, no chance, this is just who I am. I consider my little side to be a very important part of myself and find that I'm on the whole a lot happier when I'm able to let my inner kid have some fun. To be perfectly honest if I didn't have a little side I'd probably be... well, not alive.

I too have pondered this question for years. But after thinking about it, nothing good would come from a change like this. Like being bi, this isn't a life choice we can make for ourselves. It has been programmed into our brains.

I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without my little side. The Night terrors, constant Anxiety attacks. Both of these have been reduced with the tools of being little. And I couldn't be happier. Sure my life isn't perfect, but I don't think I could survive with out this part of me. So NO. I can't say I'd wish this away.

I struggle with this question like so many others. I am a DL so not so much a Little or AB. It goes way back to my single digit years like so many. For me it is clear that I can set it aside if I need to. In my youth I would make my own diapers and skip school to be alone. After high school I joined the Marine Corps to get away from my parents so I pretty much had to set it aside for the whole 4 years I was active. I always thought about it but did not have much experience with real diapers at that point. When I met my wife in college, after the military, I told her that I wear diapers (even though it was many years prior at that point) and she was not turned off by it and understood that I needed it for comfort. It was a few years into our marriage when I started to buy adult diapers to try. They were not very good but way better than my home-made ones. When our kids were in diapers I was always there to change them and very interested in how they work and so on (I hope it doesn't sound weird). I have always been there for my kids and they are very compassionate people.

The last few years have been especially hard as my parents have disowned me, or at least shunned me. They do not know of my DL side so their actions are more about control and narcissism than anything "I" do. I feel that I became a DL over 45 years ago but only recently have started to delve into it more. I do my best to not annoy others by it. I don't think that I am harming anyone though I do sometimes wonder if I am harming myself somehow. I don't think my kids know at this point but one of my daughters is very into Furries and is an exceptional artist. She is very aware of the Fur-babies side after attending some conventions. I know she would be OK with me being a DL as would her boyfriend but still I do my best to hide it.

My biggest concern and the only reason I would stop is my wife. She has been so very helpful and comforting in the last years and I have opened up my DL to her too much. I have learned over the past few months that she is open to my needs but doesn't want it in her face as it does disgust her a bit. That said it can get in the way at times. I love her deeply so I often set it aside for some days. I tailor my use around my life to make me happy. So I hope I will not stop as I get great comfort from it. This forum/site has also been a big help for me coping with my DL desires. Reading how others have experienced life as an ABDL is a real joy. So take it for what it's worth.

No. For me, being an ABDL has never been a problem. I've never had my 'inner-baby' emerge and take over when I didn't want it to. I've never been on a binge-purge cycle. I see it as a natural cooping mechanism, one that's much safer than alcohol or drugs.

BabyAnastasia said:

I think that regardless of whether people would give it up given the power to make it disappear from their lives forever would start to miss it at some point thus never truly getting rid of it, personally I went through the purge cycle like a lot of other folk and I deemed the fetish as improper and disgusting until I came to terms with who I am. It's not like we are out causing chaos, committing crimes, or other heinous acts. We are just doing what we love and people should not belittle or demonize us for that.

Sometimes I honestly think, what if we were made this way for a reason what if we are the norm and other people are not, what if society is backwards shaped by humanity and is not natural. Just a thought, but it's food for thought.

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I'm not so sure. I had it leave me in as real and absolute a way as I can imagine for about three months over ten years ago. At first, it was a noticeable hole. After a couple days, other things filled in the gaps. I've had purge feelings before and in those, my desires never left me, they were simply overpowered by self-loathing. After over a month of nothing, I thought about getting rid of my stuff but I knew that a month was a pretty small time in the course of my life and I could always get rid of the stash later. When it finally came back, there wasn't any fanfare or epiphany or anything special. Just as cleanly and completely as it had gone, it was back and that was fine too. I think the loss would bother me more now, since it would be a point of separation from my ABDL friends but it was interesting to live without it a while. What I wouldn't have given to be free of it as a younger guy.

In answer to the question, heck no! I worked hard to be okay with being an ABDL and it has made me a better person.

Nope. I came to terms with it long ago and I'm totally fine with it. It doesn't hurt my romantic relationships because decent looking women want nothing to do with me anyway. If I didn't have this, I would have no sexuality at all, really. The heterosexual feelings I used to have are pretty much gone now and its just diapers left.

I am a DL by choice ,all in all I don't think any of us could walk away free and clear , our personality, our trust in others, our self respect is all tied into our life experiences, if we could walk away we would probably be walking into something really scary , just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

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