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Thread: Age-Based Discrimination

  1. #1

    Default Age-Based Discrimination

    --So, I am throwing this out there both in hopes that members might honestly comment, but also to make a few points from the perspective of one that is in the "above-30 age group".

    I am really curious about the population here on ADISC, and how they perceive age differences in being ABDL.

    For those who are of younger situation (under 30), what is your perception of ABDLs that are still engaged in being ABDL beyond 30? Beyond 40? or even older?

    Or, likewise, those who are over 30, do you feel your views have changed and have you experienced feelings of being viewed as "different" now that you are a bit older?

    Is there a difference in how you might view individuals in these different "age" categories?

    The reason I am asking this question is I know that as I have progressed from the "under 30", to categories beyond, my views and perceptions certainly have differed in this regard. When I was under 20, or later in my 20's, I couldn't see myself as a middle aged adult and still being ABDL. I hate to admit it, but there was kind of an "ewww" factor when I thought of older adults who might still have this desire. I figured I would grow out of this once I was married, or after I had my own children and that this desire would simply go away.

    I certainly was one who was guilty as charged when it came to having my own perceptions of those who are older and wearing diapers because they enjoyed it. For whatever reason, I saw this as something that was okay for younger people to be engaged in, but gosh, older people in diapers just because they want to? For whatever reason, my own little mind just saw this as different somehow.

    Well, time goes by and now I am no longer in the "younger" generation categories, and I have children of my own that are considered technically adults. My perceptions certainly have changed as I realize being ABDL is not something that you are going to "grow out of".

    For those of you who are in the "younger" category, I hope you realize that before you know it, you too will be in this older category. Will you think differently of older ABDLs than you may do so now? Especially when you realize you are one of them?

    My hope, as I realize I had my own stigmatic view when I was younger of those who might be older and being ABDL, is that --just as there are lots of stigmatic views of others against ABDLs in general, that this internal barrier can be broken down in the future.

    Just because someone was born a decade or more before you, doesn't mean they are all that different than you. Time will pass and you will then be that same person that you saw as so much different when you were not of that same age category.

    I haven't seen a lot of "age discrimination" here on ADISC, but I can't help but believe there is some of these feelings out there. I admit that I felt this when I was younger. It was simply an unconscious bias that I had. I certainly never could have pictured my parents being ABDL, and for whatever reason, it just seemed wrong in my mind back then. Yet, I had no problem with thinking that other young adults my age had this interest.

    Am I the only one who has experienced this? And if this actually does exist out there, is it something that matters?

    We are fortunate to have some outstanding members here on ADISC that are not only in the above 30 or 40 groups, but even in the above 50 and 60 categories. Many of them are excellent role models for others and have valuable experience they have gained of the years that certainly benefit all of us here. They seem to be generally accepted and valued for their contributions.

    But I am wondering if in general, are there generation gap differences that are experienced out there in our community when it comes to perceptions of older adults still being ABDL?

    Just some random, wandering questions from Teddy Bear Cowboy as he reflects on changes in his own age as he grows older (but remains the same little boy that he has been his entire life and always will be).

  2. #2


    Oh ya, imagining older people doing things like that just happens to occur for most people I think. It's like a youtube video of an old person dancing, it just fascinates people because it isn't something we expect because we have this preconcieved notion that old people are too old to do things like that. It's similar to when we think about old people having sex too.

    I think that sort of thing will always be an occurrence, especially for young people.

    With that said, I don't think I personally was ever discriminatory to any degree on matters like this. While I did think of it a little bit weird to picture in my head, it wasn't something I felt older people couldn't participate in, nor did I think they or I would grow out of it.

    BTW ... I think this is a great subject ... :3 I am curious to hear other people's thoughts on this.

  3. #3


    I have never discriminated against older AB/DL's. However I have noticed that many of the older folks in this community outside of ADISC have no self awareness. They act high and mighty, or they're genuinely creepy and send you creepy messages on places like Fetlife. Sometimes they insult you for being young, as if just because you're in your 20's automatically makes you some snot nosed kid with no grasp on reality or anything mature.

  4. #4


    I think of the older people here as role models or elder figures as such. People who have lived with this far longer than me and should be respected for that. I will admit however the initial thought of a 70 year old sucking on pacifier felt weird I don't know why no difference to say a 30 year old but I guess I hadn't really thought about it before. But I honestly just shrug it off cause I'm weird too so no excuse there lol.

  5. #5


    When I was under 30:

    The internet and personal computers didn't exist yet, and I didn't frequent porn shops where specialty magazines might've revealed that I wasn't the only one on the planet with this odd hobby. Since I didn't go around advertising the fact that I occasionally wore diapers for fun, I didn't consider others' opinion of it, other than keeping my stash secure.

    I knew via the Sears catalog, and ads in the back of some magazines, that some older people needed diapers. I had no opinion of them either, although I did kinda wish I could procure some of of their diapers for myself. It never occurred to me that some of them might like it. Around that time my grandma had a colostomy, so that kinda took the fun out of looking forward to getting old.

    Over 30:

    Here's something the transgender crowd can appreciate. I'm still under 30 inside my head. I still don't advertise my hobby, other than here, so nobody else has an opinion of it that I need to worry about, other than keeping my stash secure. I have looked at diaper pictures now and again. I'll admit that a picture of me or anyone else my age in a diaper would be less than attractive, so I don't think about it. It's not very hard to not think about it.

    I've never imagined Mrs. Maxx in diapers for instance. I think you have to have a certain look for that. Cute, maybe? She's never been 'cute'. Attractive, sexy, but not cute. She doesn't look like anybody's grandma either, random people who guess her age miss by decades, sometimes mistaking her for Junior's wife when they're together. I guess what I'm saying is, I enjoy diapers for their own sake, not so much for any image they might evoke.

    The inside-the-head differences between under 30 and now amount mostly to a list of preventions:

    "Phew, survived that one. Thank you, Jeebus, I'll never do that again"

    It's called experience. You see how some things turn out over time, so you can avoid making the same mistakes.

  6. #6


    I wouldn't say I've ever discriminated against older or younger ABDL's just because if their age. It is true though that I've always been more comfortable talking or being with other AB's closer to my own age. However, I could care less if someone still sucks on a pacifier at 4, 40 or 80 though.

    I do know I'm guilty of thinking I'm way more knowledgeable and experienced than younger generations. Of course I also believe this is justified as I really have lived through and experienced way more than them. I do know the frivolous journeys and problems most seem to be going through simply because I've been there.

    Does being in my 40's make me high and mighty. Maybe it does, but only as much as it makes a 20 something snot nosed. This is simply because I've come to understand many end resolutions that are nearly inevitable for a lot of problems and misunderstandings we face. So yeah when I tell someone they are doing/thinking something wrong or stupid I sure hope I come across as being better than them, because my experiences actually do make me so-- just as it does with someone senior to me.

  7. #7


    Age discrimination is perfectly natural when it comes to personal relationships. In real or imaginary relationships there is no doubt a preferable age window for most people when it comes to seeking an ideal partner. Some people have a problem separating personal prejudices from social interactions but I don't see much of an age issue here, at least as far as ABDL discussions are concerned. Almost everyone here believes these feelings will be permanent so it is no surprise people maintain these feelings into old age.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by SnowBlitz View Post
    I have never discriminated against older AB/DL's. However I have noticed that many of the older folks in this community outside of ADISC have no self awareness. They act high and mighty, or they're genuinely creepy and send you creepy messages on places like Fetlife. Sometimes they insult you for being young, as if just because you're in your 20's automatically makes you some snot nosed kid with no grasp on reality or anything mature.
    This is pretty much my experience with older AB/DL's as well. I've talked to a few people who are cool but a lot of older AB/DL's are really. . . yeah.

  9. #9


    When I was younger, "everyone" seemed creepy. It kept me from engaging socially because the overwhelming majority of online examples I encountered were at best overly open. Part of that was my skittishness and lack of self-acceptance. However, I think it was also a different culture at that time. Although I might have shared interests with most around, I was much more inclined to be discreet.

    I like to think I wouldn't have discriminated specifically against others because of age. Almost all my interactions with ABDLs have been with those younger than me, which I think is a matter of demographics of online sites and those seeking social interactions. I have met a few ABDLs around my age and older and I've had some really interesting chats. What it tells me now is that creepiness is not a factor of age but of character. A young creep may get more of a pass for being attractive or exuberant but bad behavior is bad behavior regardless.

  10. #10


    I'll add this...

    At work, I and others have noticed that we are not taken seriously because we have the wrong hair color. Meaning, not gray. In meetings, my suggestions will be completely ignored until someone with the correct hair color arrives at the same conclusion, then it's the right idea. Meanwhile "I'm not participating" so I get flak for waiting for everyone else to catch up with me. I don't even go to most meetings anymore since, hey, why bother? I see no point. They'll either work it out or they won't, my input makes no difference.

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