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Thread: Does my partner know?

  1. #1

    Default Does my partner know?

    Sorry for the long thread, TLDR below.

    I want to know if you think my partner knows I'm a DL or if she just thinks I'm an occasional practical diaper user? Explanation follows:

    I've been with my partner for 13 years. This summer we'll have been married for 10. I've known I was a DL since learning I wasn't alone on AOL about 20 years ago.

    I also have a tiny, overactive bladder, and If I'm properly hydrated I'm in the bathroom every 45 minutes. I often arrive home and run to the bathroom. Sometimes a bit comes out before I get there.

    I have no ABDL friends, either online or IRL, nor does anyone in my life know I'm a DL . . . I don't think.

    I have brought up being a DL openly with two girlfriends. One used it against me to justify her out of control drug and alcohol use ("you're fucked up too") another seemed accepting, bought me diapers and allowed me to wear openly around her, but the relationship ended less than a year after I told her. So naturally I'm a bit cautious.

    Diapers first entered my current relationship openly about a 18 months before we got married. I was working a seasonal outdoor job and was having to waste tones of time leaving the job site and going to find a bathroom. After working up a lot of courage I told my then girlfriend I was considering wearing a diaper to work so I could get more done. She said it was a logical decision, and I wore diapers to work for the next three seasons.

    I also asked her to marry me right after she said it was OK toi wear a diaper to work. Like, literally five minutes later.

    After that job ended the diapers went back into the closet. Once in a while I would wear to a movie, or on a weekend when my wife was away, but that was it. I've always had diapers in the house, and while I don't leave them out in the open, they are just in a duffel bag in the storage room and she could have opened the bag any of a thousand times since then.

    A year ago I was training for a marathon, and always had to pee half way through my training run. In the summer it wasn't an issue, I would just go off the trail, but in winter, without any leaves on the trees, there was no point in my route that would let me pee without being in plain sight of a bunch of homes and a busy road. So I bought a package of Depend RealFit and started wearing one when I run.

    I informed my wife immediately, and started keeping a few of them in the bathroom, and the rest in the storage room. Often I won't change out of the diaper after coming home from a run, and wear it for the rest of the day.

    My wife has asked about using one of my diapers once, and actually used one once. The time she asked was just after the birth of our first kid. She was having trouble walking, and didn't want to keep in getting out of bed to use the bathroom. She asked if she could use one of my diapers, but quickly changed her mind before she put one on.

    More recently she was experiencing some horrible GI stuff, but wasn't able to take a day off work. She was worried about spending 30 minutes on the bus, and I recommended she wear one of my Depend RealFit diapers; she took me up on the offer and wore it for the entire day.

    So here's where I sit: I like to wear, it makes me feel so relaxed and nice. My wife knows that I often (when I run) wear for practical reasons, and I think she's suspected a few times when I've worn a traditional-style diaper to the movies. And I suspect she knows that I still have a healthy supply of diapers (traditional and RealFit) in the house. But I don't know if she suspects I wear for pleasure AND practicality.

    I would love for her to be OK with me putting on a Molicare, Tena Slip Maxi or Abena M4 at night if I'm feeling a bit stressed, and I would love to not feel like a cheating husband when I re-supply my traditional diaper stock and sneak the package into the house.

    But I'm worried that admitting this could change our relationship, which is pretty happy and stable.

    Would love to hear your thoughts?

    TLDR: Wife knows I occasionally wear a diaper for practical reasons (tiny, overactive bladder). Knows for sure I have a supply of adult pull-up style diapers in the house, may know I have other traditional style diapers. I'm worried about telling her I'm also a DL and would like to wear a diaper openly around her when I don't necessarily need one. Should I tell her? Do you think she already suspects I'm a DL?

    Thanks for reading.

  2. #2


    Hey, sorry I haven't gotten back to this post sooner (I was a away for a bit and opened it right before), but I did want to make sure you got a reply!

    TL;DR, Your secret is gonna keep eating you up unless you talk to her about it. Sounds like she may suspect and will likely be accepting, even if she doesn't want to participate. However you'll never know if you don't talk about it!

    Good luck!

  3. #3


    I too recommend you come clean about it. You've got to be truthful with your wife if your marriage is going to last. It's kind of hard to say she knows though, and just might not.

    Of course, you don't have to admit always feeling this way. Just tell her your diapers have been so convenient that they are really starting to grow on you (not literally), and you kind of like wearing them now.

    See how she reacts from there, and maybe ask her is she wouldn't mind you wearing them more often too.

  4. #4


    I knew the answer to your question after the first sentence. You can't be that close to someone for 13 years and they not know. She's known for oh, about 12 years. And she's an angel. She knows you enjoy them, but you're not comfortable talking about it. So she respects your privacy, and doesn't bring it up.

    You can, and likely should tell her. She's been ready for you tell her for a long, long time. That doesn't mean she wants you wearing around the house all the time, but she likely wouldn't mind once in a while. That said, you don't have to tell her. It could continue to be the elephant in the room that no one points out, but everyone knows is there.

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