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  1. #1

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    I think I should have put this in the off topic area, but I think this might have a more mature undertone. I've been have a wave of new ideas. Some seem more possible than other, but they've all have one thing in common. They all seem impossible for ME to make possible. I've been working on my mental stability, but it's been a little shaky. Most everyone around me have gotten sick, so I've had very limited interaction with my friends. Work thankfully has been far more stable lately. It's still something I see as mostly pointless, but I get to see some of my friends while I'm there.

    To my friend, the person I see as the older sibling I was never given.
    I've thought about seeking help, but haven't seen the point. The things I worry about are things I should be worried about.

  2. #2

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    I've had the same experience actually. So, I had a dream one night (one of the more fun ones) that I'd essentially mounted a hang-glider onto a mountain bike. The handle-bars would steer when in the air or on the ground, and the left hand-brake was connected to the tip of the hang glider to cause descent. The idea is, bike up a mountain and then take off, ride the thermals as long you can, and when you land you're still on a bike so you can just keep going to the next high place to launch off from. The idea really was to turn hang-gliding into an actual means of travel rather than just a sport... as it is, with just a glider, once you land someone has to come pick you up. But not so with a bike attached. ^^

    This was years ago, but I never forgot it. And TO THIS DAY no one has been able to tell me any good reason that it couldn't work. Gliders can hold 2 or sometimes 3 people... a mountain bike weighs far less than a person. And also catches very little wind, so stability shouldn't be an issue. But I don't have the tools, the workspace, nor the technical experience to build something like that and try it. I have seen some Youtube videos of people doing similar things, though. I'm pretty sure it could work.

    Re getting help... the point is, you're fairly depressed from all I've read of your posts. A therapist might be able to help with that. Mine isn't a psychiatrist (though I'm scheduled to see one upon her recommendation), she's a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. So it's basically talk-therapy. But just that has helped me immensely. It's important that you find a therapist you can relate to though, so don't be afraid to go through a few of them. I kind of "did my homework" before making appointments, read reviews and etc, found someone whose specialties included transgender issues, and got lucky. We "clicked." The first person I called for an appointment though, who was a psychiatrist who dealt with TG issues and was a whole lot closer... simply never returned my call. I left a voice mail detailing why I was calling and the number to call me back at...and, nothing. OK then, next! I struck gold on my second try. I've seen the same therapist for nearly 3 years now.

    Another thing to watch out for is that you'll probably be prescribed an antidepressant (I was given Lexapro), and just about all of them are addictive. Last time, it was a Nurse Practitioner that my therapist referred me to for medications to help with depression and anxiety. And it didn't work out. She promised initially that if I didn't want to take that prescription anymore, she'd help me off of it and try something else. Well, after about 8 months it wasn't helping anymore and I was beginning to feel depersonalized, or like I was living in the Matrix or something. But still feeling down. But when I told her I wanted to switch to something else, she refused. She broke her explicit promise, and she attempted to take an important medical decision out of my hands. I gave her a fairly stern lecture and just walked out the door. I had to wean myself off of Lexapro using what was left of my Rx, and I suffered many of the withdrawal symptoms. But I never went back. The Nurse Practitioner failed to grasp that she is a consultant and that ultimately I make the decisions about my health care. Try to control me and I'm just gone. So, I have a few cautionary tales to tell the psychiatrist when I see her and in another week or so. I don't want a repeat performance. o.o;

    Anyway, getting back to the main point... from everything I've seen of you, you are clearly depressed in a clinical sense. A professional -- one who knows WTF they're doing -- can really help with that. Do you see the point yet?

    And... *hugs* Hang in there.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    I think I should have put this in the off topic area, but I think this might have a more mature undertone. I've been have a wave of new ideas. Some seem more possible than other, but they've all have one thing in common. They all seem impossible for ME to make possible. I've been working on my mental stability, but it's been a little shaky. Most everyone around me have gotten sick, so I've had very limited interaction with my friends. Work thankfully has been far more stable lately. It's still something I see as mostly pointless, but I get to see some of my friends while I'm there.

    To my friend, the person I see as the older sibling I was never given.
    I've thought about seeking help, but haven't seen the point. The things I worry about are things I should be worried about.
    I can relate to this. At work, I'm very much known as an ideas person, often putting forward suggestions for new programs, identifying recent trends, finding new ways to improve the efficiency of the work we do and developing education materials to reach a greater number of people (whew).

    I've always found the best way to come up with the implementation of new ideas is to talk them out and get some feedback. It can help flesh out a concept and allows others to build on it. I'll even toss out what I know to be a crazy idea for discussion, because even the worst idea might have a kernel of viability if nurtured properly.

    I used to hold back on my best ideas, afraid they couldn't be done, or not knowing how to bring them to fruition. I realized they were dying a lonely death when I wasn’t doing anything with them. They didn’t get their chance to add anything to the world. To affect someone. To make a difference. I lost out because I didn’t push myself to think deeper. I lost out on the feedback or constructive criticism of others. I missed the chance to push myself in new directions. I stopped before I even started.

    A good place to start is to write down a list of all the ideas you are collecting in that busy, active mind of yours. Next write down a list of things that have prevented you from developing them beyond the idea stage. Think of each idea as a spark that needs igniting, or more accurately, nurturing. When ideas are still developing, they can feel incomplete and tough to explain to others. What if it is misunderstood or turns out to be a bad idea? It is at this stage that you really want to talk to someone about it because you may be surprised at the support you see for it and this gives you motivation to bring it to the next level. And if there are flaws in the idea, talking it out with someone might help you find a way around it. Another perspective that I've taken throughout the years is to not give a damn if it may turn out to be a bad idea. Sometimes just talking to someone can help turn a bad idea into something different and even better than the first spark.

    Another I've learned is to not procrastinate or convince yourself it's not going to work. Put the negative junk out of your mind. Just start. Start somewhere, anywhere. Sometimes I just need to put aside time to begin an outline and a framework of what I want to accomplish. The further along I get into it, the more it takes on a life of its own and I find myself getting excited again. Close down all the distractions and force yourself for whatever time period you need. of writing and no more. Every journey starts with a single step.

    I've also found creativity comes to me more easily when I'm out on my morning run. Sometimes I wake up, stressing about how I'm going to get through a part of my day that I'm dreading. After a few miles into my run, sometimes new options just appear and I come back home with new exciting strategies. There are other ways, like meditation, yoga, or an exercise program, but for me, I've found running has enhanced my creative process.

    Most importantly, don't be afraid to leave your comfort zone. Get comfortable with sharing ideas, both the good and bad ones with people who can help move them forward. A cohort zone can be, well, comfortable, but it's when you move into the execution and implementation zone that things can get pretty exciting.


    On your second issue about seeking help, I can understand your reluctance to try counselling, my friend, but think of it this way: What have you got to lose at this point? Ask yourself if you're moving forward in your life, and if you feel that you're still being held back after all this time, then maybe it's time to consider trying a new strategy. It's another way of leaving your comfort zone. Yes, the things you worry about are legitimate things to be worried about, but that is all the more reason to have someone IRL to talk things over with.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 18-Feb-2017 at 22:51.

  4. #4

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    Kryan, you need to clear out your private messages, dude!

  5. #5

  6. #6

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    Unfortunately your experience with the nurse practioners is not unusual, nurse practioners are under trained , and think they are hot shit because they have the powers of a physician with little experience or intelligence involved .

    Actual people in the mental health field learned long ago that if they disregard the opinion of even the most fragile people suffering from mental illness , in treatment decisions or issues of medication that person is not coming back ever again , and in most cases will devolve an avoidance of mental health professionals, if they weren't paranoid when they arrived, run a game on them and they will be when they leave. In some major cities trusting knowledgeable psychiatrists and therapist are trying a community out reach to help people who are "falling thru the cracks" left by the established quacks who have caused people to be suspicious and paranoid with good reason , the idea is to bring "treatment teams" to the patients a psychiatrist a social worker and therapist meet with the patients on neutral ground where the patient feels safe , and then they involve at least two other "consumers" that the patient trusts as well as a patient who worked with these people to recover and give first person examples of these people are honorable and will jot do what the last idiots did that caused people to disengage , so far the results are really promising, they make sure the patient is in control and that there wishes and boundaries are respected , because as you said they are consultants, who can recommend a course of action or "care plan " but it's the patient who makes the decisions, every day in every way , because obviously if the person was so severely I'll they could not make decisions they would be in a facility , but getting help to the people who need it who have been run off by the establishment is there only goal , and so far it's working .

    I hope that you will reach out again to somebody else ,who understands that taking the power of self care away from people and getting on there high horse as professionals is taking a huge toll in the lives of people who didn't need doctor issue bullshit to begin with.

    Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

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