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Thread: How to help someone who is depressed

  1. #1

    Default How to help someone who is depressed

    Soooo, Mommy, my sweetheart of four years and love of my life, finally came to terms with the fact that she is pretty depressed and that recently it's come to a head owing to the realization that since she moved away from home her family is not exactly dying to have her as a part of their lives for whatever reason. She's been feeling really down because they don't call her or invite her to things or generally act like they care that she doesn't live with her mom anymore.

    I'll always be there to listen to her and to give her my shoulder to cry on should she need it - I'd move a mountain if I could just to make this woman happy. It's breaking my heart to know that she's having such a hard time... what would you do for someone who is depressed like that?

  2. #2
    Gadget1982

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    Be there for them and be open to listen to them. I suffer from major depression and PTSD from being a Combat Veteran. I ended up having to get on antidepressants to help manage my depression. You can also find something they love to do and try to nudge them to continue to do that. I wish I could say that it is going to be a quick ordeal but it probably won't be. Just make sure your there for them.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadget1982 View Post
    Be there for them and be open to listen to them. I suffer from major depression and PTSD from being a Combat Veteran. I ended up having to get on antidepressants to help manage my depression. You can also find something they love to do and try to nudge them to continue to do that. I wish I could say that it is going to be a quick ordeal but it probably won't be. Just make sure your there for them.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
    This is what I was thinking as well. It's a good answer. I suffer from some depression, so my wife encouraged me to buy something I really wanted, a high end digital piano. I play it every day and love the fact that I'm accomplishing something, realizing dreams I've had since a kid as I learn all these difficult pieces.

    We all need something fun to look forward to, something that gives our lives some meaning. And like Gadget said, be there for her. Listen to what she's saying and be supportive. Maybe seeing a psychologist and going a little more proactive.

  4. #4
    Gadget1982

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    Music has been proven to be helpful in depression and PTSD. I am now an audio technician for my VA and now have gotten into singing a little. Music has helped level my mood out and eases my anxiety out.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

  5. #5
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadget1982 View Post
    Music has been proven to be helpful in depression and PTSD. I am now an audio technician for my VA and now have gotten into singing a little. Music has helped level my mood out and eases my anxiety out.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
    I can certainly say listening to music tends to always help me feel better. It can often change my mood quite a bit.
    Umm, although if I am in a really really bad mood (suicidal) it can do the opposite and make those bad emotions stronger. I suppose it also depends on the music. XD

  6. #6
    Gadget1982

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    Ya it does all depends on the music your listening to that makes the difference.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Songnar View Post
    Soooo, Mommy, my sweetheart of four years and love of my life, finally came to terms with the fact that she is pretty depressed and that recently it's come to a head owing to the realization that since she moved away from home her family is not exactly dying to have her as a part of their lives for whatever reason. She's been feeling really down because they don't call her or invite her to things or generally act like they care that she doesn't live with her mom anymore.

    I'll always be there to listen to her and to give her my shoulder to cry on should she need it - I'd move a mountain if I could just to make this woman happy. It's breaking my heart to know that she's having such a hard time... what would you do for someone who is depressed like that?
    Depression is complicated and can be related to a number of variables, whether it's clinical, emotional or situational. From the sounds of your post, at least part of the current episode seems to be related to the distance between her and her family and their treatment of her since she moved away. Sometimes distance can highlight the true cohesiveness of a family. It's a natural part of life for offspring or siblings to grow up, get life skills, education and develop loving and lasting relationships with new people in our lives. A true family will support you throughout life's transitions and find happiness that you are leading a fulfilling life. They do not isolate family members for moving forward in life or take it personally. A true family understands that growing up does not necessarily mean growing apart.

    I've always said that family is defined by the people who are close to you, and that is not necessarily blood relatives. Family are the people who build up your self esteem and confidence and give you the courage to fly on your own rather than tear you apart or hold you down. They support your life choices and understand that it's a natural progression to find a partner and start a life of your own. They are the ones who would move mountains to keep someone happy. Although it's always sad when these relationships are tested and weakened simply by the distance, she appears to have a true, loving family... you.

    If there have been some ongoing issues with depression, I would certainly encourage her to see a doctor to ensure there aren't any underlying causes. If there's some physiological reasons, it may need treatment. Aside from that, you're doing everything you can. She is fortunate to have you in her life.

    Oh, yes, and then there's music:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_XVLN8gd3A
    Last edited by Starrunner; 15-Feb-2017 at 16:49.

  8. #8

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    I almost wish I could help, but I can't really. We know death is a sweet release from this painful life. True we don't know what or if anything comes after it, but that's just it- how do we know it isn't better. We don't, nobody does. (And this goes double for religious people too).

    How then can anyone say suicide isn't worth it. This is just an outright lie we tell ourselves so we won't have to deal with someone else leaving us prematurely. Don't get me wrong, If someone is on a bridge I'm not going to be saying jump. I'm just not going to be saying come back down either.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    I almost wish I could help, but I can't really. We know death is a sweet release from this painful life. True we don't know what or if anything comes after it, but that's just it- how do we know it isn't better. We don't, nobody does. (And this goes double for religious people too).

    How then can anyone say suicide isn't worth it. This is just an outright lie we tell ourselves so we won't have to deal with someone else leaving us prematurely. Don't get me wrong, If someone is on a bridge I'm not going to be saying jump. I'm just not going to be saying come back down either.
    Suicide is never worth it. I've been through my own suicide attempt, I've survived the loss of a partner to suicide and I lost a good friend to suicide who took her life when she was four months pregnant. I can't compare my situation to yours, it's just to say I've had more experience with suicide than anyone would never want to have. I can't begin to describe the unimaginable pain and devastation it brings to family, friends colleagues and the community. It affects us all. And yes, after all these years and days when it has been difficult to cope, I'm glad that I'm still here and I'm grateful for what I've been able to accomplish in my life.

    Like you, I don't believe in life after death, and my life has certainly not been guided by religious beliefs. In my view, this is all the more reason to find joy and happiness during our short time here on earth and to help each other through. Would I try to talk someone down who is seriously contemplating suicide? Absolutely. Suicidal ideation can be caused by a number of transitional circumstances, such as the loss of a job, a breakup, loss of a loved one, or intolerable living conditions. The feelings associated with these situations can be devastating but in time they pass and the pain isn't as severe.In addition, thoughts of suicide can be related to a clinical illness which can be treated with medication. There is always hope, my friend. I can't tell you the number of people I've met in my personal and professional life who attempted suicide and are glad they are still alive today. Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk further about this
    Last edited by Starrunner; 16-Feb-2017 at 02:47.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starrunner View Post
    Suicide is never worth it. I've been through my own suicide attempt, I've survived the loss of a partner to suicide and I lost a good friend to suicide who took her life when she was four months pregnant. I can't compare my situation to yours, it's just to say I've had more experience with suicide than anyone would never want to have. I can't begin to describe the unimaginable pain and devastation it brings to family, friends colleagues and the community. It affects us all. And yes, after all these years and days where it has been difficult to cope, I'm glad that I'm still here and I'm glad for what I've been able to accomplish in my life.

    Like you, I don't believe in life after death, and my life has certainly not been guided by religious beliefs. In my view, this is all the more reason to find joy and happiness during our short time on earth and to help each other through. Would I try to talk someone down who is seriously contemplating suicide? Absolutely. Suicidal ideation can be caused by a number of transitional circumstances, such as the loss of a job, a breakup, loss of a loved one, or intolerable living conditions. The feelings associated with these situations can be devastating but in time they pass and the pain isn't as severe.In addition, thoughts of suicide can be related to a clinical illness which can be treated with medication. There is always hope, my friend. I can't tell you the number of people I've met in my personal and professional life who attempted suicide attempts and are glad they are still alive today. Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk further about this
    Yes, yes indeed. Suicide hurts lots of people. One of my favorite musicians, Assemblage 23, wrote a very powerful song about his father's suicide: Disappoint.

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