Binge purge

So I've been going through a binge purge cycle for a couple years now, and have had issues coping that I'm a DL since. I'm at that point where I accept I am one, but I don't know how to manage and care for my needs. Not to mention I've been in a relationship for four years now, and I don't know how long I can hide my interest. My SO is aware of my minor leakage issues, but has absolutely no clue I have an interest in wearing diapers.

I'm at a loss for ideas, I want to stop wasting money on diapers when I know I'm going to upset myself for enjoying them. I also worry how my SO will take it if i told her.

My question is if you guys had any pro tips on how to handle the situation? I know it'll be difficult to purge this interest from my life, but I don't want it to ruin my relationship if my SO doesn't take the news right.


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I don't have much of an answer for you, but I just want to throw it out there that I'm in a similar boat as you, literally throwing away what little money I have with the binge/purge cycle. What I'm saying is, I'd like whatever advice a more experienced DL has

I've told several people about my interest and it's never been a relationship-ending revelation. Like, it's always been something I've been way more concerned about than the person finding it out has been. Then again, it's never been something I've told a significant other, so I definitely can't help you there.

I haven't told anyone in my life that I enjoy wearing diapers so at the moment it all seems horrifying to me. But I do worry that I am being too paranoid haha, my OCD has been a huge factor in my life, and my SO has been a huge help. So I'd love to tell her, but the many ways she could react scares me to no end.

P.s. Love your username!


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Christophuur said:

I haven't told anyone in my life that I enjoy wearing diapers so at the moment it all seems horrifying to me. ... my SO has been a huge help. So I'd love to tell her, but the many ways she could react scares me to no end.

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Scary, isn't it? To feel like you can't put spoken words to it, because then it becomes real. There's no real taking it back. I think that was the biggest hurdle I had to get over when I finally told my best friend, who was the first person I ever told. My recommendation: she won't know how to love you well(on a human level, sexual interest aside) if she does not know this big source of mental/emotional gymnastics in your life. So though it was painful for me to finally up and say it out of fear of consequence, I knew I couldn't go crazy alone with nobody in real life to at least know what's going on. It really took a weight off my shoulders, and I'm sure it has for others, too.

Overcome the binge by holding back a little when you want to go overboard with diapers. Just don't go all in with the diapers, and keep it simple. Overcome the purge by continuing to wear even when you don't want to.

Also, you need to come to terms with it and accept this is a part of who you are. It is not some passing fetish for you, and will not go away. Eventually you will notice your binges and purges swaying less and less.

Also, if you plan to stay with your girlfriend then she has a right to know this part of you. The full you. Hiding this from her only means you don't fully accept and trust her with your inner most desires. Get married with this separating you two, and it will not help but likely will lead to a divorce years later.

The binge/purge cycle is indicative of shame and guilt. That's a societal pressure because "diapers are for infants" and if you enjoy them there _must_ be something wrong with you. Right?

Wrong. We don't always get choose what turns us on. Diapers just happen to be so taboo that people are far more understanding if you are into bdsm or cross dressing than wearing diapers.

Make your peace with it. It isn't something rational. You are likely going to have this desire for the rest of your life. It's okay. You're going to be fine. You binge and purge because of internal emotional conflict, one part of you loves diapers, the other is ashamed because you simply can't help it.

If you learn to let go of the shame. The cycle will stop.