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Thread: I f**king love diapers, but... (Could this be an 'addiction'?)

  1. #1

    Default I f**king love diapers, but... (Could this be an 'addiction'?)

    My love of diapers kind of gets more and more serious every day. At home I go about my adult duties with a diaper on and a pacifier in and I'm as happy as can be. I do just about everything 'cept shower and exercise while wearing a diaper at home.

    My day goes south when I take my diaper off and leave the house. I don't feel necessarily terrible throughout my day, but towards the end of the day it's like a mad dash to the finish so I can reunite with my diapers.

    I've tried wearing them in public and taking discreet measures (thinner diapers, cloth backed, pull ups, etc.) But there's no negating the small heart attacks that come as I go about my day. I'm about 90% sure people have seen me in diapers and their interaction has never changed. I can use all the rational statements/equalizers I want. I'm still plagued by panic when I wear them.

    My issue is that I'm in a very unhappy limbo where I know the diapers will win. I'm sure I'll spend more time on my own if it meant I could wear diapers in peace and not worry about the bulge or peeking waistband. Even if I am not "showing", and even though I'm nearly 100% certain nobody even cares, the anxiety is still there. By the same notion, life isn't the "same" without a diaper on under my jeans.

    I don't want to cheat myself out of life by prioritizing my diapers, but at the same time, simply omitting them or setting them aside isn't a feasible option either. I'll want to wrap up my schedule prematurely just to head home and put them on again.

    As absurd as this sounds, is there a way to overcome this "diaper anxiety"? Are there things you did to help yourself through a phase such as this? Thank you.
    Last edited by Reaper; 12-Feb-2017 at 19:14.

  2. #2

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    My thoughts are that there are plenty of people who have to wear diapers for medical reasons, and chances are if someone sees your diaper, they'll assume that's why you're wearing.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
    My love of diapers kind of gets more and more serious every day. At home I go about my adult duties with a diaper on and a pacifier in and I'm as happy as can be. I do just about everything 'cept shower and exercise while wearing a diaper at home.

    My day goes south when I take my diaper off and leave the house. I don't feel necessarily terrible throughout my day, but towards the end of the day it's like a mad dash to the finish so I can reunite with my diapers.
    Hi, sorry to hear you are feeling down about your current situation. It seems as though you are so accustomed to wearing diapers in private that your life has almost split in two. Your home life which automatically means wearing a diaper. Then your outside life which involves constantly getting back home as soon as possible. From what you have said here I do not really think you are necessarily addicted to diapers but I do think you are using them as a crutch of some sort. It could be that you have made a mental association that being home is being diapered. Your subconscious automatically goes to it.

    You have said that you can go without when out and about but it starts to get harder the longer you are outside. I wonder if this linked to using diapers as a coping mechanism for something else or as a comfort blanket. Maybe you feel safe or secure when wearing diapers and being outside without them means you are constantly thinking of getting back to this safe space in your mind.



    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
    I've tried wearing them in public and taking discreet measures (thinner diapers, cloth backed, pull ups, etc.) But there's no negating the small heart attacks that come as I go about my day. I'm about 90% sure people have seen me in diapers and their interaction has never changed. I can use all the rational statements/equalizers I want. I'm still plagued by panic when I wear them.

    My issue is that I'm in a very unhappy limbo where I know the diapers will win. I'm sure I'll spend more time on my own if it meant I could wear diapers in peace and not worry about the bulge or peeking waistband. Even if I am not "showing", and even though I'm nearly 100% certain nobody even cares, the anxiety is still there. By the same notion, life isn't the "same" without a diaper on under my jeans.
    This part is where I think the real problem may lie. It sounds like a viscous circle. The anxiety and nervousness you suffer when wearing diapers out and about could be directly feeding the crutch that wearing diapers indoors is safe and stops all the awful thoughts of getting caught. It could help you to try again with the super thin or discrete diapers out and about, but just go somewhere where there are far less people. A park or a nature reserve, something where human interaction is limited. This would enable you time to acclimatise to the stresses that wearing outside brings. With patience and a little self belief it is something you can overcome.

    Eventually you will start feeling like you are in control and hopefully realise that nobody really notices or cares about it. Most people in society are so wrapped up with their own problems and anxieties that they have little time to worry about what others are doing. Take some time to experiemnt with what works well and what makes you comfortable.



    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
    I don't want to cheat myself out of life by prioritizing my diapers, but at the same time, simply omitting them or setting them aside isn't a feasible option either. I'll want to wrap up my schedule prematurely just to head home and put them on again.

    As absurd as this sounds, is there a way to overcome this "diaper anxiety"? Are there things you did to help yourself through a phase such as this? Thank you.
    I do think you need to work on not wearing in the house all the time. I know that is easier said than done but it is surely better to be using diapers for enjoyment, pleasure or relaxation rather than relying on them to get you through your day. Perhaps you could go back to basics and think about what makes wearing diapers fun, what is it that makes you happy about having one under your jeans? Stop making diapers the go to answer for dealing with your day to day stresses. You need to see the diapers as a tool for helping with anxiety, rather than using them as a crutch which stops the healing process.

    You need to be strong about weening yourself off from diapers and you maybe need to find a way to stop them being part of your routine from the moment you wake up. Think of other things that can occupy your time and then when the time is right you can reunite with diapers and get your mind back on what made them good rather then something to stress over. Best of luck.

  4. #4
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reaper View Post
    My love of diapers kind of gets more and more serious every day. At home I go about my adult duties with a diaper on and a pacifier in and I'm as happy as can be. I do just about everything 'cept shower and exercise while wearing a diaper at home.

    My day goes south when I take my diaper off and leave the house. I don't feel necessarily terrible throughout my day, but towards the end of the day it's like a mad dash to the finish so I can reunite with my diapers.
    Actually, I so can totally relate to this, and it doesn't even have to be diapers. It could be a game I am playing or a person I am talking to. When I am away it's not like I am necessarily sad, but the longer I am gone and towards the end, I just want to get home as soon as possible to get back to it. This is something that is quite typical for me actually so I have always seen it as fairly normal.



    I've tried wearing them in public and taking discreet measures (thinner diapers, cloth backed, pull ups, etc.) But there's no negating the small heart attacks that come as I go about my day. I'm about 90% sure people have seen me in diapers and their interaction has never changed. I can use all the rational statements/equalizers I want. I'm still plagued by panic when I wear them.
    So what you probably need to work on is simply coming to a point where you don't care even if you believe someone saw. It can be hard to do, but once you no longer care if someone happens to see, that nervousness goes away. Once you realize that most people don't even notice, to begin with and those who do typically just assume it's for medical needs ... you kind of realize there is no reason to be nervous.



    My issue is that I'm in a very unhappy limbo where I know the diapers will win. I'm sure I'll spend more time on my own if it meant I could wear diapers in peace and not worry about the bulge or peeking waistband. Even if I am not "showing", and even though I'm nearly 100% certain nobody even cares, the anxiety is still there. By the same notion, life isn't the "same" without a diaper on under my jeans.
    The only way to win over that anxiety is to keep putting yourself in the situation that causes it. That means just keep wearing outside and I may even advise you to try thicker and thicker diapers. I mean eventually, I am certain that anxiety will vanish for the most part. (Just keep in mind, I am not telling you to wear a super thick diaper under tight jeans XD)



    I don't want to cheat myself out of life by prioritizing my diapers, but at the same time, simply omitting them or setting them aside isn't a feasible option either. I'll want to wrap up my schedule prematurely just to head home and put them on again.
    Personally, if I have nothing better to do do anyway, I probably wouldn't even care. I don't particularly enjoy social interaction outside too much. So being home always seemed better to me, and the sooner the better. But, thne diapers don't stop me from going outside either. I have no issue with walking around outside while wearing a diaper under my clothing.



    As absurd as this sounds, is there a way to overcome this "diaper anxiety"? Are there things you did to help yourself through a phase such as this? Thank you.
    I do think the only real way to get over the anxiety is to keep trying till it no longer bothers you.

  5. #5

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    " I f**king love diapers, but... (Could this be an 'addiction'?)"
    I'd say the first part of the title makes it 99.9 % certain it's an addiction

    That said nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't run your life.

  6. #6

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    It certainly sounds like a mental addiction. The problematic part, from my read of it, is the issue of messing with your plans and feeling progressively more unhappy when you're away from home. You've got a couple ways to go on that. One is to just wear diapers out and go live your life. I don't think diapers are harmful, but there are social risks to doing that. You'd have to do a good job being secret, or if you don't succeed at being secret, own it openly and help others you know understand your interest so you can be proud of who you are. Your second option is to learn how to balance your time without diapers so that you can go back and forth living a fulfilling and happy life that includes diapers sometimes, but not all the time.

    Without knowing you better, it's difficult to say which would go better. A lot of the social issue around diapers depends on your own life position, the nature of your friends, where you live, and your career. Not to mention how well you can keep it secret. On the flip side, without knowing you well, it's difficult to say how much your trouble is one of underlying depression as opposed to one of simply getting accustomed to diapers that can be fixed by behavioral shifts.

    Honestly, in this circumstance, I'd recommend you see a therapist. I don't think anything is wrong with you, but there's something you want (living a more balanced and socially active life) and you're not managing to do it due to a combination of fear and desire related to diapers. That's the kind of thing where someone with expertise can do way better than we can at helping you figure out ways of handling the problem, whether that's building your confidence or overcoming your anxiety. Also, when you do see a therapist, be clear at the start that you're not seeing them to get rid of your desire to wear diapers, you're there to figure out how to balance that desire with your desire for a more active life. Also remember that therapists have confidentiality with you, so you can be honest with them and clear about your goals. And lastly, remember that therapists are human too, so if you meet one and don't like them, you can look for another. Anyway, that's my advice on this one.

  7. #7

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    These are all some incredibly helpful answers, seriously.

    I wanted to engage each quote and each poster individually, but I'll just nod to you.

    MotherFaith, My diapers are a form of connection to my Dom. That's something I would have never laid a finger on unless you brought it to my attention. Kudos, honestly. Diapers not only grant me the coveted "security" blanket feels, but the "good boy" feels. I know that I am very attached to them as a form of security, but that hasn't fluctuated much for the decade I've been doing this... until I met him. So yeah. That was a totally viable conclusion you unpacked there.

    I try not to make diapers the response or "crutch" for day-to-day stresses. That's what Mcflurries are for, honestly. That's probably worse.

    All joking aside, my directive towards diapers is that I see them as "Rewards" for "adulting" so well. Recently I have been on top of it with budgeting my finances, engineering my identity (more on that later), living within my means, getting my career out to sea, cutting economic ties with parents, my house remaining clean, etc. I do value diapers for their rewarding appeal. And its odd that I appreciate them, and regress with more fervency, the more I "grow up". It's something that either makes total sense or no sense.

    As far as my "crutches" go, I'm pretty well-practiced with employing well-adaptive coping strategies, such as exercise, music and meditation. My ties to diapers are lot more unconventional.

    Rabbit, I agree with the idea of "once people realize its medical, there's nothing to worry about". I try to let that be an underlying mantra for this whole exercise. Those are certainly some helpful words.

    And Archie, A removal of diapers, for me, is a very real removal of comfort. In the public, that is kind of fine. I live near one of the most dangerous places in the United States- which is Baltimore, and I'm in Baltimore for work or business nearly every day. A park in liberal SoCal would have a much more welcoming reaction than the environment I'm in now. There is an environmental factor to consider there. And it's not on my side. I feel as though being near my Dom in a less densely-packed/populated, and generally more accepting area would be majorly helpful.

    You mentioned the social risk.... Another nasty component of reality is that diapers feminize my silhouette. I feel this is probably the marble that sinks everything. I am transgender and presenting as a male, little by little, more and more every day. Diapers contour and widen things I don't really want attention to (ie. hips). I feel as though I were still "presenting" as female, I would wear and own my diapers without a second thought. With a "feminine" figure... boy, they sure do put space in the right place lol.

    Going through a second puberty like I am, I am in no way shape or form to "own" wearing diapers. My mind is exactly the way it was when I hit my "First" puberty, which is kind of like a rolling stone and a blank slate and picking up "traits", some positive, some negative. I had a firm idea of what kind of "female" I was before I was comfortably able to wear diapers. I really need to determine the kind of "male" I am before I do the same thing on the opposite side of the fence. Right now I am nonchalant to a degree of one small "thing" could easily identify me, and I do not want it to be diapers.

    I do see a therapist already, and he is the real MVP in my life. This diaper debacle was something I was going to hash out eventually. He knows of my infantilism and he's very welcoming with it.

    But yeah these are really beneficial responses. I'm glad I came here with this question. Thank you.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by rennecfox View Post
    " I f**king love diapers, but... (Could this be an 'addiction'?)"
    I'd say the first part of the title makes it 99.9 % certain it's an addiction

    That said nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't run your life.
    It is the best addiction I know. I don't know anyone who has died from wearing nappies.

  9. #9
    Slomo

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    There is a well defined line between addictions and compulsions. We are compelled to wear diapers, but we are not addicted to them.

  10. #10

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    I agree with compulsion. I've recently quit smoking and been quit for 4 months, after smoking for 5 or so years, so I am familiar with that well-defined line. "Quitting" wearing diapers may be uncomfortable, but by no means causing side-effects or withdrawal symptoms.

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