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Thread: Seeking advice about telling your significant other about your interest in Abdlism

  1. #1

    Default Seeking advice about telling your significant other about your interest in Abdlism

    I Have mentioned something about being abdl to my girlfriend and was wondering how to continue the conversation and how to explain to her how I really feel about it I want her to partake but won't force her to also is there any good non-nsfw websites she can read or should I just stick to telling her myself any advice is appreciated?


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  2. #2

  3. #3

    Default

    Thanks that explains it so well what a great resource


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  4. #4
    Gadget1982

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    That's a great podcast Channel. Also "The Big Little Podcast" is a good one also. Here is an episode of coming out.

    https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/...=1000368703039




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  5. #5

    Default

    Often these discussions start late at night over drinks, with, "so what's your deepest, darkest desire" or something like that. Really, there's no way to get your girlfriend to think about accepting diapers in your life but to discuss it. You can direct her to internet sources but really, you're still starting a conversation. You want to be sure that you have control over the conversation because she will have immediate questions. You want to be able to answer them positively and as soon as possible, because people who have little or no knowledge about who we are and what we do, can misinterpret our motivations. She will want to know why you enjoy wearing diapers. If you don't know the answer to that, look up Infantalism on Wikipedia and Love Mapping.

  6. #6

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    About a month ago I realized I didn't want to keep my little side hidden from SO. I poured over forums like this and didn't really find anything helpful. Luckily, I'm friends with someone who I know has both a similar interest and does Some fet/kink sex work. I asked them if I could ask them in confidence and they obviously said yes. The advice they gave me was to chill, be up front, and collected; it helps they know my partner and correctly assumed that they'd actually find it cute.

    When I told them, I probably could've done it better, but it went well. I told them I had begun to explore a long repressed interest after we started dating (which is the truth) and had been keeping things to myself partially to verify and partially out of fear. I then told them that I realized I've gotten to a point where it seems like I'm past exploring and feel that I need to just embrace it. I then told them about my "little" interests. They were a 100% with it and asked if I'd like them to do anything while I'm in little mode and I told them for now just be accepting and we'll see what we're comfy with. My SO is now basically my caregiver when I'm in little mode and I've never been happier, and I think they are equally happy with their role and how much closer we've gotten.

    In other words, tell your significant other and listen to them. If things go well, great! If not, then maybe it's all for the best (I don't think it's fair or healthy for a relationship to expect someone to handle an interest that repulses them).

  7. #7

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    The biggest thing you need to watch out for is understanding the difference of if this is a compulsory part of who you are, or if diapers are a sexual fetish for you.

    Do not confuse the two, and definitely don't say you're a dl so its a fetish. This is just wrong, and a sure way to turn your SO off from your diapers- unless all you want is to have it in bed with them.

  8. #8

    Default Seeking advice about telling your significant other about your interest in Abdlism

    Thought I would say it when well we talked it out we set the boundaries and she is willing to try some stuff so here's hoping it continues to go smooth thanks for the advice everyone


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  9. #9

    Question



    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    The biggest thing you need to watch out for is understanding the difference of if this is a compulsory part of who you are, or if diapers are a sexual fetish for you.

    Do not confuse the two, and definitely don't say you're a dl so its a fetish. This is just wrong, and a sure way to turn your SO off from your diapers- unless all you want is to have it in bed with them.
    Could you elaborate on this?

    Is a sexual fetish for diapers less or worse than being a compulsory part of a person?

    Im under the assumption that a fetish would be better because its something the person can take part in with/without their partner, a couple times per week than be over with.

    Whereas, a compulsory part of the person would be more emotional oriented. Therefore they would need to wear on a daily basis under their clothes. Making it a more 24/7 kindof thing?

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ryan2127 View Post
    Could you elaborate on this?

    Is a sexual fetish for diapers less or worse than being a compulsory part of a person?

    Im under the assumption that a fetish would be better because its something the person can take part in with/without their partner, a couple times per week than be over with.

    Whereas, a compulsory part of the person would be more emotional oriented. Therefore they would need to wear on a daily basis under their clothes. Making it a more 24/7 kindof thing?
    I wouldn't say it's better or worse either way, but they are two completely different scenarios.

    As a fetish, you don't need diapers other than during sex. Even then maybe not always to. Your partner may or may not be open to this every time you have sex. Though you're right, other than every now and again, diapers would be out of the picture. This could be a better thing, but could also hinder you if your partner is big on sex but not on diapers at the same time.

    As a DL, diapers are a compulsory part of your basic identity. You may certainly be able to go without them for a short time, but there will also be times when you will need them for short or even long stints. During this entire time your partner would need to be open to you being diapered, possibly for weeks, months, or even years on end. Though at the same time it's also quite possible for you to not need diapers at all during sex.

    Either way really just comes down to your partner and how well accepting they are with your need for diapers. However, given how different fetishes and DL are, it is important you correctly explain it so your partner understands which one they need to accept. Telling them you have a fetish then expecting it to be ok to wear around the house are two completely different things. Miss-communicating it like this could seriously jeopardize your relationship in the long run.

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