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Thread: Girlfriend Broke up with me

  1. #1

    Default Girlfriend Broke up with me

    So my girlfriend left me, it's in the title. I've been in a semi long distance relationship with this girl for the past year. She goes to a different college about an hour away from my home, but work and school makenit so that I can only see her once a week. Maybe every two weeks. For the past couple of weeks me and her were doing great. Then one not when we are fooling around she askes me if she is enough for me. Of course I said yes, and she is. But we got into a fight about how I was making her feel uncomfortable by asking her to do things during sex. Nothing crazy, just that she be on top because I always am and I get tired so we have to stop. She has always had problems with insecurity about her body, no matter how hard I tried to make her feel beautiful I couldn't. So we talked about the arguement and it came to she wanted to stop having sex for a little because she felt awful after the last time and needed to work through it.

    I never wanted her to feel like this, she told me about her insecurities early on in the relationship and I only wanted to make her feel better then she did. I failed at that and ended up doing the opposite.

    A week passes and she is starting to pull away so I ask her about it and want to know what is going on. She said she needs more time. At this point I still don't know what to do. I ask her if she can for give me for how I made her feel, and I tell her I never wanted her to feel like this. She told me she isn't able to forgive me right now. Another week passes and at this point I'm losing it. I hear from her maybe only in the morning and once at night, and she is gone.

    I come back to her again and ask what is the problem, what do we do to fix it. She never gives me and answer for why she is busy other then she needs more time.

    Finally the past week, she stops telling me she loves me, and doesn't talk to me all day. So I confront her about it. We talk on the phone rather then in person because I couldn't take I anymore. And she wants to leave.

    She never mentioned the fight but says she isn't happy. School has been too hard on her, she doesn't have good friends at her school, and she wants to switch to some where on the other side of the county. But she can't switch schools with me in her life because it makes it too difficult. We have both been depressed, and she wants us to find happiness by ourselves. I told her we should only break up if we don't love each other anymore. She said this is something we have to do, even though its the hardest thing she has ever done.

    I've delt with depression most of my life and she is the only friend I really have anymore after highschool ended. She is the first person I have ever fallen in love with. I told myself I'm not loosing my virginity until I find someone I love. Well I found her, and now she is gone. Idk what to do. I want her back so bad. I lost all my friends and now her with in the span of a year. I don't know what to next. I know what I want. But it's over. I felt love for the first time, now she is gone.

  2. #2

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    As you say at the end "it's over". Let it go, there is nothing you can do to make it better, and trying to hold on to her makes things worse. Concentrate on school, let the rest of things just proceed on their own.

  3. #3

    Default

    So, for comparison anyway, here's a slightly worse story...

    My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because my life-long best friend died and I was shattered and she just couldn't handle it. We actually still talk, even though she's married to a total jerk now and feels trapped there, and wishes she could go back in time and not leave me. And I lost MOST of my college friends when that happened. She told them not to choose sides, but they did anyway and were more interested in being friends with her than with me.

    Why do I still talk with her? Because more than a decade later, the feelings have never faded, and I just can't bring myself to hurt her by closing her out. I did that for awhile and she definitely felt the sting. So I've learned to do better. I haven't found anyone else yet... in over a decade... because very few people ever even show up on my "radar." But I've learned not to care; I am my own person and I do my own thing, and whatever happens, happens. I don't go looking for love on sites like eHarmony or OKCupid or etc... I prefer to encounter someone in less direct ways than that, if and when I ever do. But I'll be alright if I don't. It was enough to find love once. It just took me a LONG time to get to the point that such was enough for me. Make sense?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by IanDL View Post
    I felt love for the first time, now she is gone.
    The one and only person I've ever loved - it was over the Internet, but that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things - decided to quit speaking to me without telling me why. This was almost two years ago, and I'm still not over it, still not sure how to make peace with it. I'm reminded of the Beatles song ''Carry That Weight'': ''Boy, you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time.''

    My current love is my elderly shelter cockatiel, although that is not quite the same.

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