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Thread: Falling apart

  1. #1
    MarchinBunny

    Default Falling apart

    Do you ever get the feeling where you feel like your mind is just falling apart? My mind is just constantly filled with sucide, hate, pain, and anger. I feel like I am losing my sanity little by little every single day.

    I feel like I just want to rip out all these painful memories and thoughts. It's like there is a full on war going on inside my mind, and I don't know how to handle it. It's making me want to scream and just run off to do whatever I can to make it stop.

    I don't understand ... things have never gotten this bad.

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm sorry.... I know we don't know each other that's well, but I go through the same storm, and I helps to vent to others and let it all out, and let people speak enouaging words to you, it you would like to chat, message me ok
    We are a family and this abdl world lol
    Sorry if that sounds weird but true lol

    Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk

  3. #3

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    A few deep breaths, a long walk. Even at night.... as a boy with a paper route, trudging through snow with a bag half my weight...I loved seeing porchlights.... walking by and imagining peaceful domestic scenes behind the curtains, listening to Top 40 radio with a mono earbud (AM, you probably don't even know what that is), imagining myself a wraith, above and immune to all the travails of mankind.

  4. #4

    Default

    *hugs* It's your situation driving it I think. You probably won't start feeling better until you find a way out of that. But no suicide, OK? For me if not for yourself... don't go there.

    And Maxx... yeah, I'm sure she's never heard of Amplitude Modulated radio before. Cause, you know, us millennials don't know about any of that stuff. ^^ (Sorry, I couldn't resist that one. ^^) But deep breaths and a long walk at night are great ideas. In fact, I'll add onto that... looking at the stars is quite a magical experience. If you can get somewhere that's very dark, with no light pollution, you can see the Andromeda galaxy with the naked eye. It's faint which is why the darkness is important, but it's a HUGE ellipse in the sky, bigger than even the moon. It's quite fascinating to see.

  5. #5
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Chubs View Post
    I'm sorry.... I know we don't know each other that's well, but I go through the same storm, and I helps to vent to others and let it all out, and let people speak enouaging words to you, it you would like to chat, message me ok
    We are a family and this abdl world lol
    Sorry if that sounds weird but true lol

    Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk
    Thanks, I appreciate it.



    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    A few deep breaths, a long walk. Even at night.... as a boy with a paper route, trudging through snow with a bag half my weight...I loved seeing porchlights.... walking by and imagining peaceful domestic scenes behind the curtains, listening to Top 40 radio with a mono earbud (AM, you probably don't even know what that is), imagining myself a wraith, above and immune to all the travails of mankind.
    Ya, I was invited by my ex's sister to go out and eat. We also walked for a bit aftwards. It helped to clear my mind a bit. It's almost as if she knew I needed it XD.
    Also, yes I used to listen to Coast to Coast AM with Geroge Noory. I am not sure if I ever caught Art Bell on it at any point. I think Sapphyre will get a kick out of that if she looks up what the show is about.



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    *hugs* It's your situation driving it I think. You probably won't start feeling better until you find a way out of that. But no suicide, OK? For me if not for yourself... don't go there.

    And Maxx... yeah, I'm sure she's never heard of Amplitude Modulated radio before. Cause, you know, us millennials don't know about any of that stuff. ^^ (Sorry, I couldn't resist that one. ^^) But deep breaths and a long walk at night are great ideas. In fact, I'll add onto that... looking at the stars is quite a magical experience. If you can get somewhere that's very dark, with no light pollution, you can see the Andromeda galaxy with the naked eye. It's faint which is why the darkness is important, but it's a HUGE ellipse in the sky, bigger than even the moon. It's quite fascinating to see.
    *hugs* Thank you. I suppose I need to find things to take my mind off it all so I don't just let it take over my thoughts.

  6. #6

    Default

    I've heard of Art Bell, just never tuned in. ^^;;

    And really, if you can find a reasonably dark area... give your eyes time to dark-adjust and then see the stars. The Milky Way is a very obvious streak across the whole sky, but Andromeda appears as a piece that's broken off from that streak... a piece in the shape of an ellipse. You can't miss it. And just standing there beholding with your own eyes another galaxy can make all of your problems seem small. It does for me, at least.

  7. #7
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    I've heard of Art Bell, just never tuned in. ^^;;

    And really, if you can find a reasonably dark area... give your eyes time to dark-adjust and then see the stars. The Milky Way is a very obvious streak across the whole sky, but Andromeda appears as a piece that's broken off from that streak... a piece in the shape of an ellipse. You can't miss it. And just standing there beholding with your own eyes another galaxy can make all of your problems seem small. It does for me, at least.
    XD Making my problems feel small doesn't really make me feel better lol. If anything it makes me feel worse. :P
    Ya, coast to coast am is pretty much a radio show about the paranormal mostly. Whether it be aliens, ghosts, crystal skulls, area 51, John Titor ... you name it, they talked about it. XD

    Anyway, I need to figure out what to do, because these thoughts I keep having are getting worse. It's like the intensity of it comes and goes and I don't know what to do while I am in the middle of it occuring. I suppose it doesn't help no one around here actually knows what I am going through since I have no spoken to them about it. But, I really don't want them to worry.

    At the same time .. I sometimes feel like I may just end up losing it right in front of them and have some sort of massive break down.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    XD Making my problems feel small doesn't really make me feel better lol. If anything it makes me feel worse. :P
    Ya, coast to coast am is pretty much a radio show about the paranormal mostly. Whether it be aliens, ghosts, crystal skulls, area 51, John Titor ... you name it, they talked about it. XD

    Anyway, I need to figure out what to do, because these thoughts I keep having are getting worse. It's like the intensity of it comes and goes and I don't know what to do while I am in the middle of it occuring. I suppose it doesn't help no one around here actually knows what I am going through since I have no spoken to them about it. But, I really don't want them to worry.

    At the same time .. I sometimes feel like I may just end up losing it right in front of them and have some sort of massive break down.
    So while I enjoy paranormal stuff, I had to go look up John Titor. That was an amusing read for me. ^^;

    So, why does making your problems seem small make you feel worse? I don't quite understand. It's basically about seeing that you're part of so much more than the things that would typically concern and worry you.

    And, having a massive breakdown in front of others sucks (been there, done that), and having people worry about you sucks (too late ), but both are better than letting things get to the point that you're about to tie a noose or grab a razor blade or something. Talk to someone. Reach out, when you're feeling like this. Of course you're already doing that here, but I mean more in-person. Talk to a local friend, or worst case, call a hotline. Don't let it go too far.

    ...and, I still encourage you to find a dark place and see Andromeda. It's just awesome.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    Do you ever get the feeling where you feel like your mind is just falling apart? My mind is just constantly filled with sucide, hate, pain, and anger. I feel like I am losing my sanity little by little every single day.

    I feel like I just want to rip out all these painful memories and thoughts. It's like there is a full on war going on inside my mind, and I don't know how to handle it. It's making me want to scream and just run off to do whatever I can to make it stop.

    I don't understand ... things have never gotten this bad.
    Please don't hurt yourself. You and I don't agree on much (OK probably nothing) but I know a good person when I see one. Take a deep breath, talk to someone, find your safe place. Think of things that bring out the best in you, they're there. When things get challenging for me I think of a quote attributed to Martin Luther King: The measure of a man is not found in times of comfort and convenience but in times of challenge and controversy. That quote has gotten me through some awful times. C'mon, if anyone can get through this you can.

  10. #10
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    So while I enjoy paranormal stuff, I had to go look up John Titor. That was an amusing read for me. ^^;
    Ya, if you actually read the forum posts from the guy, it's actually pretty fun to read. He also knew some very odd things XD.



    So, why does making your problems seem small make you feel worse? I don't quite understand. It's basically about seeing that you're part of so much more than the things that would typically concern and worry you.
    Making my problems seem small, makes me feel like I matter less lmao XD. Of course it makes me feel worse. Though, I do admit I love looking up at the stars XD.



    And, having a massive breakdown in front of others sucks (been there, done that), and having people worry about you sucks (too late ), but both are better than letting things get to the point that you're about to tie a noose or grab a razor blade or something. Talk to someone. Reach out, when you're feeling like this. Of course you're already doing that here, but I mean more in-person. Talk to a local friend, or worst case, call a hotline. Don't let it go too far.

    ...and, I still encourage you to find a dark place and see Andromeda. It's just awesome.
    Ya, all it takes is the wrong conversation and I suppose it can happen. I am worried one of them is going to ask me something that is just going to force me to talk about these issues with them. Sadly they are the only ones I can talk to face to face. But at the same time I really do not want to worry them. They do enough for me as it is.



    Quote Originally Posted by BuffedBaby View Post
    Please don't hurt yourself. You and I don't agree on much (OK probably nothing) but I know a good person when I see one. Take a deep breath, talk to someone, find your safe place. Think of things that bring out the best in you, they're there. When things get challenging for me I think of a quote attributed to Martin Luther King: The measure of a man is not found in times of comfort and convenience but in times of challenge and controversy. That quote has gotten me through some awful times. C'mon, if anyone can get through this you can.
    Not agreeing with someone doesn't bother me much, so no worries. In plus, disagreements tend to make me think about things more than I probably would have. Though I can take things a little personal sometimes, though I really try not to as best as I can.

    I am actually not too certain what things bring out the best in me. It's actually not something I really ever thought about I suppose.

    Thank you.

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