My boyfriend of the last 8 years has recently told me more seriously that he is a diaper lover. We're both in our mid-late twenties but our sex life has been pretty rough these last couple of years and I take full responsibility. Between requiring hormone therapy and feeling the long term effects of anemia, I neglected our sex life. Most of the time it was because my sex drive had just taken a halt and I didn't realize how little we were actually doing it. A couple years back when we were going through this he started hinting at being a being a diaper lover but at the time I thought he was just implying that he wanted to try new and creative things in the bedroom and jokingly using that as an example. I told him the diaper thing was never going to happen but just recently when he expressed how it wasn't just any creative sex act that he wanted and he truly considered himself a diaper lover, I genuinely tried to become a little more open minded. I allowed him to purchase a large amount online and told him I'd give him and chance here and there. Since then, I have indulged him once and engaged in a sexual act while wearing the diaper and was really proud and impressed with myself for taking that big step while still being so skeptic about it. Since then he talks about it almost everyday and I feel myself slipping away from our sex life again. He's told me on several occasions that even after 8 years of dating he doesn't want to commit to getting married unless he's positive that he will be sexually satisfied. I realize now that what he means is until I entirely give in to his fetish, our years of love isn't enough.
I feel so hurt and frustrated. I really want to do this for him and not make such a big deal about it but I just cant get myself aroused. I'm envious of better women than me that can just drop their self esteem and let their significant other dress them in diapers and do what they please. As a woman, I don't feel sexy, I don't feel confident, and I just don't feel sexual even thinking about diapers.
Today he came up to me and told me he wore his at work today and that he had urinated in them. He said this to me with a shy smirk on his face, I think expecting me to become aroused or think it was cute. I didn't. I didn't know he enjoyed wearing them. He always told me he was just curious about what it feels like. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to force myself to find this attractive. Please, does anyone have any advice on how to move past this mental block I have? I love him so much, but I really don't love this. I don't want this to be every sexual experience for us. I don't want to think of living a life and a marriage where I have to force myself to pretend to be aroused.
I feel so hurt and frustrated. I really want to do this for him and not make such a big deal about it but I just cant get myself aroused. I'm envious of better women than me that can just drop their self esteem and let their significant other dress them in diapers and do what they please. As a woman, I don't feel sexy, I don't feel confident, and I just don't feel sexual even thinking about diapers.
Today he came up to me and told me he wore his at work today and that he had urinated in them. He said this to me with a shy smirk on his face, I think expecting me to become aroused or think it was cute. I didn't. I didn't know he enjoyed wearing them. He always told me he was just curious about what it feels like. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to force myself to find this attractive. Please, does anyone have any advice on how to move past this mental block I have? I love him so much, but I really don't love this. I don't want this to be every sexual experience for us. I don't want to think of living a life and a marriage where I have to force myself to pretend to be aroused.
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