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Thread: Honest or Encouraging

  1. #1

    Default Honest or Encouraging

    So I've noticed from time to time someone comes to the forums and asks for advice or input on something they are doing (or want to do) which might be questionable or even unhealthy. When some others (myself included) try to be honest and truthful were bashed for being "negative" or "uncaring". Yet this couldn't be farther from the truth.

    So why is that? Can't people understand what constructive criticism is? Saying something you don't want to hear doesn't always have to mean what we are saying isn't said to actually help! Instead it seems like these people come here asking for one thing while only really just wanting to be encourage or coddled. Am I the only one that sees this?

  2. #2

    Default

    You're definitely not the only one that's noticed. People that reject constructive criticism are everywhere. I don't often give it but receiving is so invaluable to me!

  3. #3
    mikejames

    Default

    it's because most of the time people are hoping to have people support and encourage their bad idea and get defensive when faced with the truth. Simple solution is to just move on from the thread. You gave your honest advice and fair warning so it's not on you when they go fuck up their relationship or whatever. Some people are too stupid to help.

  4. #4

    Default

    I understand what is being said. However the "true feelings" can be gasoline on a smoldering fire.

    So is that the best action or reporting the situation any better?

    I know of a case where both actions had no effect on the situation.

  5. #5
    MarchinBunny

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    I have run into this as well. I often find people don't want advice, they want lies and to be in an echo chamber.

  6. #6
    mikejames

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    I have run into this as well. I often find people don't want advice, they want lies and to be in an echo chamber.
    that thread with the dude who wanted everyone to tell him those reusable incontinence underwear would be great is a good example.

  7. #7

    Default

    I think in at least some, if not most, of these cases, the individual is doing a sort of roleplay in his/her head. Note that it's often someone new to the forum. Perhaps they think that we would play along with and feed their fantasy. This is kind of a fantasy world after all, and it might appear that we would do that.

  8. #8

    Default

    I do think people will learn and improve if they are given constructive criticism. But unfortunately we live an a society where feelings and lies matter more than honest conversation and logic.

  9. #9

    Default

    I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I want you all to know that if I ever ask for advice, like in my thread about diaper suggestions for smaller ladies, I actually want honest opinions.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    I have run into this as well. I often find people don't want advice, they want lies and to be in an echo chamber.
    This. All of this.

    A lot of the times people just say "oh you're just being mean!" No. I'm telling you the truth, and sometimes the truth does in fact hurt.

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