Gift-recieving anxiety/guilt?

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gnd567

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So, anybody else have a similar problem or have any idea why I'm having this one? Ever since I was a teenager I have absolutely hated receiving gifts. It's not that I don't care or am ungrateful. It's that for some reason it brings with it anxiety and guilt. Why? I don't know. I don't like being the center of attention to begin with and I always feel like I don't deserve it. Even though all my family and friends know this, they still insist on showering me with gifts on xmas and by birthday (which are only a week apart anyway.) My mom and my one of co-workers are the most persistent. I wish they would stop. I KNOW they mean well, honestly I do- but it just causes me great embarrassment and usually a ton of guilt because I almost NEVER end up using any of the gifts I get because:
1. Nobody knows how to shop for me at all (which again is fine because I don't want a gift.)
2. Whenever or IF ever I use said gift, there's a bad memory of receiving it attached to it.
and
3. I now feel obligated to wear or use the item and if I don't, I worry about that person feeling hurt, thinking I didn't appreciate their gift to me.

The reason I bring this up is because today my mom asked me why I haven't been wearing the shoes she bought me for Christmas. First off, I begged her not to spend any money on me because we don't have it anyway and I didn't want anything away. Secondly, they don't fit and it's too late to take them back. I brushed it off and said I would but this is just another example of people not respecting my wishes. I am such a shy person and I hate people spending money on me. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. I don't feel like it's mine otherwise. I feel so guilty.
 
Ya, I am very similar. Typically before someone gifts me something I have to give them a speech about it.
 
I'm terrible to buy for, especially at Christmas. Like others here, I'd prefer my family to not get me anything. Most small things, if I want them, I just buy them. The things I don't buy for myself are things that no one can afford, like a big spacious beach house.
 
I hate giving people gifts because I always get a lot of anxiety worrying that they won't like it.
 
I give people things a bit randomly. Not really for Christmas or their birthday or any special occasion, just more "Oh, so-and-so would love this" and then it happens. If they don't love it... well... what do I care? There's no pressure really.
 
Sapphyre said:
I give people things a bit randomly. Not really for Christmas or their birthday or any special occasion, just more "Oh, so-and-so would love this" and then it happens. If they don't love it... well... what do I care? There's no pressure really.

Ya, actually ... I personally enjoy giving things to poeple too lol.
 
This may sound strange but I always gave my Mom gifts on my birthday , without her I would not be here , so I always felt a celebration of my birth should focus on my Mom.

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Yeah I am a lot like that but have been very firm with most people I know including my parents with the "no gifts and ABSOLUTELY no trinkets from your holidays" rule.

It gets easier the older you get and I found as long as you bring it up a long while before useless events like birthdays or Christmas or peoples planned holidays they are less likely to be offended or waste their money and valuable luggage space on useless stuff.

Of course if people are persistent you could always tell them the only thing you want is a gift certificate from ABU :)
 
Argent said:
Of course if people are persistent you could always tell them the only thing you want is a gift certificate from ABU :)
Yeah, that would be nice :) But probably not gonna happen haha.
 
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