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Thread: A step forward, with a side of irony

  1. #1

    Default A step forward, with a side of irony

    I'm married, but my wife has never supported my diaper wearing. I disclosed it to her when we were dating in college, and she seemed indifferent to it - not wanting to participate or be in the same room while I was wearing, but otherwise a "you do what you want" stance on it. I respected her and did not involve her in any of it.

    A little while after we got married I brought it up again, but this time she was very upset and indicated that if I should wear, even in secret, it would be grounds for divorcing me.

    As is the case for so many of us, the urges never really left, and I kept thinking about wearing. I brought it up again nearly 3 years later, and this time she was still upset, but less so than before. She admitted that her initial concern was that it had something to do with pedophilia - which really shocked me. I know that is one of the stereotypes "outsiders" pin on our community, but we dated for 4 years before getting married, and I felt like we knew eachother pretty well. Eventually she agreed to read Bitter Grey's articles on understanding.infantilism.org, and she admitted that she can kind of understand how I might like wearing. She asked a lot of good questions about what I liked and what I didn't like.

    She agreed that I can now wear whenever she is out of the house, just so long as she does not have to "see, hear, or smell" them. I waited about a week and brought it up again, just to make sure she was ok, and then I ordered a case of ABU Simple - (by the way, they are amazing.... I did wear once - only once - while we were married before this, but it was a spur-of-the-moment thing and I didn't have time to wait for a delivery so I ended up with Walgreen's store brand, which are pretty terrible). They got here on Friday, and I was able to try one for 4 hours when she was out studying with some classmates on Saturday. So, now I have these glorious diapers waiting for me when she is gone.

    I'm hoping that eventually I can at least wear when she is home (but not ask her to participate in any way), but I'm not going to press my luck. I've waited so long to be padded again, I'm not going to do anything to compromise it.

    Bonus irony time:
    I went to the bathroom this morning, and my stream forked and somehow shot straight back in to my underwear. ALL of the window shades were open in the house, and there were no towels in the bathroom to wrap around myself to go get some clean underwear, so I had to ask my wife to get me a clean pair of underwear. When she asked what happened, I told her "I peed my pants." I don't think she got the irony, but I did.

  2. #2

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    WOW, what was your reaction after she said that you, after you married, about the nappies? were you floored? Were you questioning WHO you married?


    you mentioned that 3 years later, she read articles online, how long ago was that from right now?

    I'm glad your enjoying the premium side of nappies, as opposed to walgreens. my personnel favorite are the ABU cushies.

    I'm sure you received an eye roll, whether you could see it or not from your wife over your "accident"

  3. #3

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    To be honest, this sounds like possibly a nasty situation just waiting to happen. I'm sorry to hear that your wife is so unaccepting, and that she lead you to feel it was less of a big deal for her than it apparently was. I mean, grounds for divorce? Wow.

    While you're hoping to someday be able to wear when she's home, without knowing her at all (or being a mind reader, haha), she's probably hoping you'll "grow out of" it eventually. Something needs to give, and it probably will have to be her. Until then, what's happening now is just a strategy for managing the issue, but it's probably unsustainable in the long run. And probably not healthy for your own self-esteem, either.

    That's $0.02 from someone who generally sucks at romantic relationships. Take it FWIW.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by MommyandMattling View Post
    WOW, what was your reaction after she said that you, after you married, about the nappies? were you floored? Were you questioning WHO you married?


    you mentioned that 3 years later, she read articles online, how long ago was that from right now?
    Yeah, I was kind of upset. It came up right away when I told her years ago. I told her then that it has nothing to do with children, but I guess the correlation is strong in her mind. I kept referring to them specifically as *adult* diapers from then on. I have to keep reminding myself that I constantly think about diapers, but she (and, I assume most other people) do not. We don't have kids yet, but that was another of her concerns. After reading other's experiences on here, I am confident it won't be an issue. I don't really question who my wife is - she is pretty vanilla (for lack of a better term). She isn't comfortable talking about normal sex, let alone fetishes. Over time, though, she has been opening up and figuring stuff out. I think that's why she agreed to me wearing for myself.

    She read the articles about three weeks ago.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. #5

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    Oh wow, I'm glad things are feeling somewhat positive for you at the moment!

    I'm new here, so apologies if this is not helpful, but I can relate a little bit. I've been happily married a long time, but it's taken a long time for my ... interests ... to be discussed and accepted (as much by me as by her).

    I'm not surprised that your wife had an immediate bad reaction and associated it with nasty stuff. I wouldn't think poorly of her for that association or concern - I mean society... it's full of folks spreading fear and lack of tolerance and anything different is easy to make scary as a way of making everybody feel bad for not being the same.

    Also, as much as it takes a lot for us to come out about stuff, it can also be very disorienting and scary for the other person to feel like there's a secret side to someone they trust. I don't know how things will work out for you in the future, but it does feel positive that she was willing to learn more, and to accept that there was that part of you. It seems like she decided that she could respect it even if she didn't like it or want to be part of it, that probably wasn't easy for her.

    I think your instincts are spot on to 'take it easy'. I know I've had some 'moments of irony' like yours, and while for me it was a thrill to have a part of everyday life force a situation that was close to these private interests, for my wife it was just kind of an unexpected intrusion of something she was new to dealing with. Your little accident might have raised the stress level for your wife. Putting myself in her shoes I can imagine she was just getting comfortable with the idea of your private time, and that accident might make her wonder if it's going to be a trend pushing her out of her comfort zone.

    I've had the best luck in expanding our understanding (and participation) by going to her in situations where she feels in control and honestly asking her for help.

    Anyhow best of luck to the both you and enjoy your premium padding!

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by AdorableRabbit View Post
    Your little accident might have raised the stress level for your wife. Putting myself in her shoes I can imagine she was just getting comfortable with the idea of your private time, and that accident might make her wonder if it's going to be a trend pushing her out of her comfort zone.
    It was seriously an accident, and she just laughed at me. I didn't try to turn it into a diaper thing; like I said, I'm taking it slow!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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