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Thread: My life Part 4

  1. #1
    MarchinBunny

    Default My life Part 4

    Part 1 - https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...My-life-Part-1
    Part 2 - https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...My-life-Part-2
    Part 3 - https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...My-life-Part-3

    Here we are part 4. Now as I said in part 3, have to talk a bit about Brittney my ex-stepsister. Not a whole lot to talk about, she was a bit of a brat at first, but eventually she grew on us and with her mom no longer controlling her she turned out to be a pretty good sister. Joe got custody of her when I was in elementary school still. As I said, it's hard to actually put these things in precise order and if I tried everything would be all over the place. Something to keep in mind though, Joe treated her differently than us. At least while we where around.

    Anyway, next thing I wanted to talk about is pets. This is something I really had not mentioned also because it's not super important but I suppose it's worth a mention. Back when I was young before my mom got a divorce with my dad, we had 2 dogs and a cat. The dogs names where Hungy and Keylin (No idea how to spell their names lol) The cat's name was Sushi. My mom got rid of the dogs after the divorce but we kept the cat. While we where living with Joe, we got another cat. He was named Countach. Now, it's also worth noting Sushi was around since I had been born. So I was pretty close to him.

    This leads us back to where I can continue the story. Mom and Joe decided they wanted to move again. This would be our fourth move. The reason we moved is because my Mom wanted to own many animals XD. Like goats for example. So we moved to an area out in the sticks lol. Five acres of land.

    Course I couldn't really enjoy it because I was grounded still lol. As I said, this grounding lasted for 3 years and the only reason I was finally let off was because Brittney also got bad grades and he let her off a week later.

    Something else of a pretty big concern during this time was the bed wetting. Umm well it's around this time where it started to turn into a fetish ... unknowingly. You could sort of say I became a bit addicted and I realized I was doing it on purpose so much, that it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide it. Some how I managed to convince my mom that the reason my room smelled was because of my shoes. Again ... I don't know how ... that worked. -.-

    I was quite scared of anyone going near my room. I was stressed out and couldn't understand why I was doing it on purpose so much and why I liked to do it so much. I felt like I couldn't stop. I began feeling like there was something seriously wrong with me and I didn't know what to do about it or who to go to for help.

    During this time Sushi also passed away. Was a pretty sad day indeed. I cried all morning before having to head to school. We also got a dog after. Joe named the dog Stingray >.< ... he often used that name for many thing like when at resturants for name calling. Again, not a whole lot to say here really. We later also got another cat, and he was named Charlie (I actually almost forgot about him had to come back and add it lol o.o)

    We started seeing Jackie again, she actually was no longer dating my dad and was dating someone named George. They got married so we all went to her wedding. Things were still pretty shaky there between us though.

    So eventually finally my mom sees what an asshole Joe is and decides she wants a divorce. It's also worth mentioning she told us she was diagnosed with Lupus around this time as well. She told us that stress makes it worse, so we had to behave more so than usual x.x


    Ok so ... I don't remember exactly what happened but Joe and I where arguing and I said I was going to my friends house and slammed the door as i was leaving. Joe opened the door and ran after me. He grabbed me by the neck and told me I was not going anywhere, and literally picked me up by the neck and threw me into the house. I had a pretty big bruise on my neck from it. My mom now getting a divorce with him ... all of a sudden cares. She flips out on him and tells him to not touch her kids.


    Now this divorce was something my sister Jen and I where looking forward too a great deal. This was the moment we both felt we where going to be getting our mom back. We would go back to being a somewhat split, but happy family. So eventually we packed our things and we moved.

    We took Stingray, Joe kept Countach and Charlie.

    So ... things actually didn't change a whole lot. Our mom was often still away, going out all the time. Not paying a whole lot of attention to us really. The only times she did, was when she was yelling at us. I suppose I at least didn't have to deal with the groundings anymore. I started High School around this time too, umm I never actually passed middle school 8th grade. They looked at my test scores and just moved me to high school.

    I often felt like I didn't know who I was. It's almost like I had forgotten. I felt pretty lost. I also felt pretty disgusted in myself. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. The wettings kept happening. I actually started hitting myself in the head every time I would let it happen or hit my head against the wall and cry. Scream at myself that I need to stop.

    My sister got involved with the wrong crowd. She started smoking cigurettes, drinking, and skipping school. My mom wasn't around so she never knew. Eventually my sister convinced me to skip school with her. I had no friends and I wanted to fit in. I was peer pressured into smoking as well. I did also drink, but that honestly isn't anything new considering I would tend to sneak alcohol from the liqour cabinets sine elementary school lol. Not even sure if I mentioned that at all while writing this, guess it wasn't overly important.

    So one day my sister throws a party while my mom is out and a lot of people came over. Loud and immature people. I sort of locked myself away in my room. Then they broke a few things and a glass table and that was when I started freaking out. I told everyone to get the fuck out of the house NOW! Or I would call the cops. >.> ... it didn't work very well. They chased after me, and I locked myself in the room with the phone, but then they started hitting the door and windows. One of them broke in and grabbed me.

    I was pretty much told to say I was being stupid and wasn't going to call the cops while they where threatening me. So .. I did as they said because I honestly didn't want to be beaten.

    So long story short, my sister blamed the dog for the broken table. Saying the dog freaked out at something outside and hit the table and knocked it over.

    Anyway, last thing I will say for this part. My sister threw another party while I was at school. I came home, to a ambulance, fire truck and 3 cop cars outside our home with my mom freaking out screaming. Where is my daughter! Jen was in the ambulance. They found her naked in the bathtub with water, all cut up, drugged and poisoned with alcohol.

    This is the moment when my mom calls our dad. We go to the hospital and my dad is there ... have not seen him in forever. Jen had been drugged and raped. Was rolling in broken glass as well. Then her “friends” tried to cover it up or some shit.

    While at the hospital my sister was pretty out of it, screaming at the top of her lungs. I honestly, was pretty terriffied. Then on top ... there was now discussions on us moving in with our dad and it was decided that is what we would do. So that was goodbye mom. But of course the calamity doesn't end there. I will talk about that next time though.

  2. #2

    Default

    My response to this might be a little bit elliptical... there's so much here....

    I'll start with pets. I never encountered anything like goats, growing up, but we had a lot of cats and one dog. One of the things that I STILL, to this day, hold against my mother is her repeated tendency to euthanize them behind my back. She always promises that she'll let me say good-bye more properly, and then whoops, sorry, too late, forgot. The worst example was our cat Bubble. I know it sounds like a silly name... he was a tuxedo cat and was awesome in many different ways. He came down with a cold, so my mom brought him to the vet for antibiotics. After several days, they obviously weren't working, so she brought him back for another prescription. Evidently, test results showed that the problem was that he had FIV, so my mom in her infinite wisdom had him euthanized on the spot. It was an early-morning appointment, and she actually woke me up just to tell me that she fucked up again. (Have I mentioned I don't mince words?)

    OK, now Jen... holy freaking snotballs! I was an only child, so I can only relate to this a bit distantly, but WOW. That is indeed very terrifying. Rolling in broken glass, WTF?? I'm not surprised this was traumatic for you.

    You mentioned rather briefly that you were "grabbed." The brevity stands out to me, and suggests it was much more important than you've let on so far. Am I wrong? I haven't been directly mistreated many times before, but when I have, it stays with me...

    There's probably a lot more I need to add, but I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry for the fragmentary response.

  3. #3
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    My response to this might be a little bit elliptical... there's so much here....
    It's ok.



    I'll start with pets. I never encountered anything like goats, growing up, but we had a lot of cats and one dog. One of the things that I STILL, to this day, hold against my mother is her repeated tendency to euthanize them behind my back. She always promises that she'll let me say good-bye more properly, and then whoops, sorry, too late, forgot. The worst example was our cat Bubble. I know it sounds like a silly name... he was a tuxedo cat and was awesome in many different ways. He came down with a cold, so my mom brought him to the vet for antibiotics. After several days, they obviously weren't working, so she brought him back for another prescription. Evidently, test results showed that the problem was that he had FIV, so my mom in her infinite wisdom had him euthanized on the spot. It was an early-morning appointment, and she actually woke me up just to tell me that she fucked up again. (Have I mentioned I don't mince words?)
    Ya, I have never had much of an issue in this regard. Sushi didn't need to be euthanized as he wasn't in any pain when he went and my mom did always make sure to let us know when something like that was going to occur with any of our pets. There are certainly some things my mom did right XD.



    OK, now Jen... holy freaking snotballs! I was an only child, so I can only relate to this a bit distantly, but WOW. That is indeed very terrifying. Rolling in broken glass, WTF?? I'm not surprised this was traumatic for you.
    It was one of those moments where I was so scared and so many things where going through my head at the moment that, I really couldn't process it all. I couldn't even cry. The talks with my dad about moving in with him ... I agreed to it. I felt like, Jen and I where a problem for my mom and that we where going to eventually kill her with the stress due to her lupus. I, to be perfectly honest, didn't want to leave because I knew it meant losing my mom again. At this point I am feeling like nothing seems to ever go right.



    You mentioned rather briefly that you were "grabbed." The brevity stands out to me, and suggests it was much more important than you've let on so far. Am I wrong? I haven't been directly mistreated many times before, but when I have, it stays with me...
    I assume you are talking about during the party. Ya I talked about it pretty briefly. It may have been a bit more serious than the way I let on. I mean, I was pretty scared they where going to kill me or beat me up lol. Basically, I was grabbed quite forcefully and pulled out of my room. They held me down till I said what they wanted me to say. Truthfully, I don't even remember if a weapon was involved or not. I can tell you this though, I was pretty scared by these people. Not just intimidation ... more like, if I don't do what they tell me, my life might be in danger. Worst of all my sister was just standing there allowing them to do this to me. I can tell you ... I was pretty pissed off at Jen. Then on top, I had to join in on the lie just to keep my sister out of trouble. At this point, I probably should have told my mom even if it meant more abuse. Anything would have been better than what happened to Jen. If I had told my mom, that party where she was raped, cut up, and almost killed may never have happened.



    There's probably a lot more I need to add, but I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry for the fragmentary response.
    It's ok. =^.^= ... I appriciate the responses greatly.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    I assume you are talking about during the party. Ya I talked about it pretty briefly. It may have been a bit more serious than the way I let on. I mean, I was pretty scared they where going to kill me or beat me up lol. Basically, I was grabbed quite forcefully and pulled out of my room. They held me down till I said what they wanted me to say. Truthfully, I don't even remember if a weapon was involved or not. I can tell you this though, I was pretty scared by these people. Not just intimidation ... more like, if I don't do what they tell me, my life might be in danger. Worst of all my sister was just standing there allowing them to do this to me. I can tell you ... I was pretty pissed off at Jen. Then on top, I had to join in on the lie just to keep my sister out of trouble. At this point, I probably should have told my mom even if it meant more abuse. Anything would have been better than what happened to Jen. If I had told my mom, that party where she was raped, cut up, and almost killed may never have happened.
    That definitely sounds like trauma / memory blocking to me. :-( Not that it's surprising or anything, but, such details as the inability to recall if there was any weapon involved or not more or less spell a traumatic incident.

    It also sounds like you're blaming yourself to some degree for what happened to Jen. Correct me if I'm wrong.

    What happened to Jen is still generating a "WTF??" response with me. I may be a little bit naive here, myself, but just wow. That's just insane.

    I don't know if any of this is helpful or not, I'm mostly just venting. I hope it is.

    ~S

  5. #5
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    That definitely sounds like trauma / memory blocking to me. :-( Not that it's surprising or anything, but, such details as the inability to recall if there was any weapon involved or not more or less spell a traumatic incident.
    Well, I don't know if it's memory blocking or not. Could just be forgetfulness and I certainly don't want to say anything that I am not entirely sure about. I do at least know they threatened me. Sadly, I don't even remember anyone who was there now that I think about it, obviously besides my sister. Granted many of them where people I didn't know.

    XD Actually can't remember any names from the time I was living in that area. So even if I did know them, I don't remember there names and most of their faces. I mean we where there for a pretty short period of time. *shrugs* I did have a couple friends though but they where younger than me, think I was around 16 at the time and the 2 or 3 friends I had where like 9 -13. I do remember sleeping over during one of their Birthdays and them telling us not to wet the bed lol. XD That was kind of funny. I also remember saying how I was older ... and they looked at me and said ... so what. For some reason I think he knew x.x ... he did come over the house a lot. Ya .. I am kinda surprised I don't remember any of their names >.< ... sort of a bummer consdiering a portion of the next part sort of involves them.



    It also sounds like you're blaming yourself to some degree for what happened to Jen. Correct me if I'm wrong.
    I don't think it was necessarily my fault ... I mean I don't blame myself to that extent. I do blame myself a bit though because ... I should have done something rather than always being scared to talk about anything like that. I knew very well the people my sister was hanging out with where bad people.



    What happened to Jen is still generating a "WTF??" response with me. I may be a little bit naive here, myself, but just wow. That's just insane.
    Ya, I can understand. They had to pump her stomach do to the alcohol poisoning. She actually doesn't remember a thing, so she was blacked out. So in the end it didn't give her a whole lot of trauma surprisingly. x.x She doesn't even remember much about being in the hospital, how she was screaming at the top of her lungs trying to beat up everyone >.<.

    From my perspective it was like looking at an entirely different person. I was about to say this would have been my second time being in a hospital, but actually this was the third time. XD Of course I would forget the time I had a hernia and needed an operation ... well whatever, not all that important. This was back when Joe and my mom where still married. I can't remember a whole lot, but I do remember a few things.
    1. I threw up after drinking apple juice after the operation and never wanted apple juice ever again.
    2. They gave me koala bear PJs that I really liked a lot, but ended up needing to toss them due to having had bed wetting accidents while wearing them quite often x.x



    I don't know if any of this is helpful or not, I'm mostly just venting. I hope it is.
    Well, I wouldn't worry to much about that. Talking about these things are good.

  6. #6

    Default

    What happened to Jen is... obviously... not your fault. I'm still kind of WTF? about it. I mean seriously, rolling in broken glass? WTF??? That's just absurd.

    I'm a bit unaccustomed to moving around. Basically, my mom has always lived in the same place, and that's been "home" to me in many ways.

    I wasn't a bedwetter, so that was never an issue. Thankfully. My love of diapers was and is a completely secret thing.

    On a somewhat unrelated note, I'm allergic to apple juice.

  7. #7
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    What happened to Jen is... obviously... not your fault. I'm still kind of WTF? about it. I mean seriously, rolling in broken glass? WTF??? That's just absurd.
    The glass was from a broken ashtray. There was blood on the floor where she had been rolling in the glass. Oh, and something I forgot to mention, she had cigarette burn marks on her arm.



    I'm a bit unaccustomed to moving around. Basically, my mom has always lived in the same place, and that's been "home" to me in many ways.
    I have moved 20 times in my life or maybe a bit more.



    On a somewhat unrelated note, I'm allergic to apple juice.
    For the longest time I couldn't drink the stuff. Now I can XD ... I got over it.

  8. #8

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    Cigarette burns? What.. the... *fumes*

    OK, next topic, so I don't explode.

    I haven't moved before. I'm not used to it at all. My mom has always lived in the same place.

    I haven't recovered from my allergy to apple juice, because it is literally just that -- an allergy. My immune system is just about as difficult as I am, lol. I have described it to many others as like having a pet tiger. I think I've described it to you that way before, also. It's just vicious. That has its good and bad sides...

    - - - Updated - - -

    I suppose I'm being a little bit emotional here...

    But I don't react to abuse well. At all. It frankly just pisses me off. What you are describing happening to Jen is triggering that. I mean really, W. T. F.??? That's absolutely crazy and should never happen to anyone.

  9. #9

  10. #10
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    Cigarette burns? What.. the... *fumes*

    OK, next topic, so I don't explode.

    I haven't moved before. I'm not used to it at all. My mom has always lived in the same place.

    I haven't recovered from my allergy to apple juice, because it is literally just that -- an allergy. My immune system is just about as difficult as I am, lol. I have described it to many others as like having a pet tiger. I think I've described it to you that way before, also. It's just vicious. That has its good and bad sides...

    - - - Updated - - -

    I suppose I'm being a little bit emotional here...

    But I don't react to abuse well. At all. It frankly just pisses me off. What you are describing happening to Jen is triggering that. I mean really, W. T. F.??? That's absolutely crazy and should never happen to anyone.
    It's alright. I entirly understand why anyone would be emotional to hear this sort of stuff.

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