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Thread: A trigger

  1. #1

    Default A trigger

    I got so scared and angry today when I sat down to wach TV with dad and his girlfriend, I forgot to close the door and I said "there is too much to remember" meaning carrying my drink in and closing the door at the same time, I wondered what my dad was so pissy about so I asked "what's got your underpants in a twist!?"

    He then said "do you want a slap!?" Right in front of his girlfriend who kept out of this by the way. That triggered emmense anger and fear in me, so I retailiated and muttered " you can't slap me, you can't threaten me anymore, I will slap you!!!" He gave me a dangerous look and said I was being cheeky, my anger Still wasn't gone so I mined slapping and pointed at him to say "I am going to hit you so hard!" Without actually saying anything. He left it at that.

    I used to be slapped rather than smacked, my memory of childhood is not what it used to be but I had nightmares about him being angry at me and smacking me when I did something wrong and he and my mom slapped/smacked me.

    It used to scare me so much and my brother so much that he had to get therapy to get over it and he does not trust my dad very much and he used to avoid my mom! I used to be scared of my dad and i do not fully trust him, ai was scared of my mom because she would continue to smack me during my teens and shout at me just like she did when I was young, even though she was physically weaker she would scare me the most, when ever I got smacked I used to cry for hours on end and be bright red in the face and mom and dad used to say how ugly I looked when I cried and put a book onto the table to block their view of me and tell me to shut up if they heard me sobbing my heart out, but literally it broke my heart for them to smack me and it scared me to pieces.

    Other times they would be loving parents but they needed to get a new approach to parenting and they went on about how they never smacked me, BULLSHIT!!! Just ask my brother for gods sake, they even told me they went to a positive parenting class that teaches positive approaches to disapline which one of them is not to smack your child!! They still did, they swore throughout my childhood and my dad would make a big deal of everything and blow everything out of proportion, he taught me to do that so automatically when something goes wrong, I behave like him!!, and what confuses me the most is that they loved me to bits and were generally good parents taking me to parties, taking me places, playing with me, reading stories, encouraging me, congratulating me and doing what they could to help me flourish. They did an overall good job but the one thing they couldn't cope with was when me and brother did things that normal kids do every now and again, misbehave, tell lies or make a mess

    I feel bad about posting this as there are more people out there that have been abused and this is nothing compared to what they got growing up! I am not doing this to disrespect anybody but is my fear and anger legitimate?

  2. #2


    A parent should never slap a child. If a parent does this, they shouldn't be surprised if someone calls child services on them. My mom used to spank me as a child until one day, she spanked me to hard. She told me many years later about it, and said she never spanked me again. Parents should never physically discipline their children in anger, because it quickly gets out of hand.

  3. #3


    Ya, I sort of can get like that as well if I am threatened to be hit or even being picked on about pretty specific things. Heck, I been picked on so much for crying in my life and been hit by my ex-stepfather that now if someone teases me about crying that itself can have the same sort of effect on me.

    I will say though if the person in question is just joking or being cheeky ... I can usually tell if that is the case if I know the person enough. So really, it depends on the situation and how it's said more than it just being said.

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