Angelic
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Is this something to do with me being a little or is this something I got from years of bullying both off my parents and kids at school?
I found my dads girlfriend is very upfront and confident and says things as they are and here I am meek as a mouse and barely knowing what to say to her.
She is a nice woman but being in the same room as her is just intimidating, she is taller than about 5 foot 6-7 inches whilst I am 5 foot 2 inches. She has a very commanding and authoritive voice but she is generally nice. She tends to not take crap from anybody and she gets her point accross and what ever she says goes.
She tends to rush around the place and tends to be noisy. I put off going to the toilet or changing my diaper or playing when she is like that, no matter how desperate I am/ if I need to change or if I was enjoying myself. When she is being intimating I want to cry.
I only have known her for a few months now and I have only just started living with her a week ago. I tend to stutter around her and I want to be more assertive and talkative but I don't generally have anything to say to her like I could with my own mom.
Speaking about my mom, she wasn't athoritive like dads girlfriend but then me and my brother often didn't take her seriously but when she told us off, she would be irrational. I have yet to be told off by dads girlfriend. My dad was authoritive but not strict at the same time. I used to be actually scared of my parents as did my brother as we were both smacked as children.
All I want is to be loved, hugged and not be scared but dad and his girlfriend have play verbal fights and mess each other around and I never saw that with my mom as she would take things literally as so do I. They swear and I have told them, I don't like swearing, they sound like a bunch of college teens trying to be cool. They take me right of little space where there shouldn't be cursing!
I think I need to get to know dads girlfriend more as I have told dad that I am imtitdated by her.
In school, I was called ugly, not being able to speak because I was interrupted as I was at home as well, accused of being a crack head, pushed, hair pulled and left out and had nasty rumours spread about me. I was a nervous wreak.
This is the result of these years today, I speak quietly and not clearly enough sometimes, I am meek as a mouse, I don't know what to say, I am not interested in trends anymore, I am not assertive but I am just starting to find my voice, I dislike loud noises and get scared easily and want to cry a lot and feel imtidated by a lot of things. I can't make a desision put on the spot and people take over what I am saying.
Today, dads girlfriend said when we were getting presents (they just threw presents as us) , I got imtidated at this point and she said "well what are you waiting for?!, we don't have all day!, get a move on!" I went quiet and I didn't know what to say and I got a lump in my throat, I quietly said "thanks" and could barely find the right words to say let alone get them out of mouth! I waited for her to open hers and she said " wait are you waiting for open them! You don't have to wait for me!" I sounded like I was being spoilt or not liking the presents as I couldn't think about what I just unwrapped in front of me! I was so timid by this point I nearly burst into tears! Later on when I calmed down, I actually started to like what I unwrapped earlier as I had time to appreciate them because I wasn't scared out of my wits! I got some awesome gifts as well! I just couldn't sound enthusiastic as I felt so nervous! (This is my first Christmas with her btw)
I know this isn't a very nice thing to post at Christmas but I just wanted to know what was wrong with me.
- - - Updated - - -
Her tone of voice didn't help as well!
I found my dads girlfriend is very upfront and confident and says things as they are and here I am meek as a mouse and barely knowing what to say to her.
She is a nice woman but being in the same room as her is just intimidating, she is taller than about 5 foot 6-7 inches whilst I am 5 foot 2 inches. She has a very commanding and authoritive voice but she is generally nice. She tends to not take crap from anybody and she gets her point accross and what ever she says goes.
She tends to rush around the place and tends to be noisy. I put off going to the toilet or changing my diaper or playing when she is like that, no matter how desperate I am/ if I need to change or if I was enjoying myself. When she is being intimating I want to cry.
I only have known her for a few months now and I have only just started living with her a week ago. I tend to stutter around her and I want to be more assertive and talkative but I don't generally have anything to say to her like I could with my own mom.
Speaking about my mom, she wasn't athoritive like dads girlfriend but then me and my brother often didn't take her seriously but when she told us off, she would be irrational. I have yet to be told off by dads girlfriend. My dad was authoritive but not strict at the same time. I used to be actually scared of my parents as did my brother as we were both smacked as children.
All I want is to be loved, hugged and not be scared but dad and his girlfriend have play verbal fights and mess each other around and I never saw that with my mom as she would take things literally as so do I. They swear and I have told them, I don't like swearing, they sound like a bunch of college teens trying to be cool. They take me right of little space where there shouldn't be cursing!
I think I need to get to know dads girlfriend more as I have told dad that I am imtitdated by her.
In school, I was called ugly, not being able to speak because I was interrupted as I was at home as well, accused of being a crack head, pushed, hair pulled and left out and had nasty rumours spread about me. I was a nervous wreak.
This is the result of these years today, I speak quietly and not clearly enough sometimes, I am meek as a mouse, I don't know what to say, I am not interested in trends anymore, I am not assertive but I am just starting to find my voice, I dislike loud noises and get scared easily and want to cry a lot and feel imtidated by a lot of things. I can't make a desision put on the spot and people take over what I am saying.
Today, dads girlfriend said when we were getting presents (they just threw presents as us) , I got imtidated at this point and she said "well what are you waiting for?!, we don't have all day!, get a move on!" I went quiet and I didn't know what to say and I got a lump in my throat, I quietly said "thanks" and could barely find the right words to say let alone get them out of mouth! I waited for her to open hers and she said " wait are you waiting for open them! You don't have to wait for me!" I sounded like I was being spoilt or not liking the presents as I couldn't think about what I just unwrapped in front of me! I was so timid by this point I nearly burst into tears! Later on when I calmed down, I actually started to like what I unwrapped earlier as I had time to appreciate them because I wasn't scared out of my wits! I got some awesome gifts as well! I just couldn't sound enthusiastic as I felt so nervous! (This is my first Christmas with her btw)
I know this isn't a very nice thing to post at Christmas but I just wanted to know what was wrong with me.
- - - Updated - - -
Her tone of voice didn't help as well!